A New Guide to Rational Living
by Albert Ellis, Robert A. Harper
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Book Reviews of A New Guide to Rational Living
Book Review: Powerful, straight to the point
Summary: 5 Stars
I read the reviews posted here before I decided to order this book. I found most reviewers gave it a four or five star rating. Our public wisdom is right. So I come back here after gaining great benefit from reading the reviews as well as this book itself to share my opinions with potential buyers and hope my review would get you to know this book more.
Dr. Albert Ellis is an acclaimed psychotherapist. He is the founder of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) and originator of the cognitive behavior therapy. What I admire Dr. Ellis is that he coped with those Freudian psychotherapists back in 1960s, in which neuroscience has not developed so well as today. Today more and more neuroscience studies have shown that Freudian subconscious therapy that urges clients to go back to their childhood to discover their deep-rooted hurt heart would do little to help a person to get over his/her destructive emotions. Recent studies have supported Dr. Ellis's theory largely. Such as (1) Our neurons keep developing. (2) Laziness or over-comfort would not bring about happiness. (3)TAN, found by Ann Graybiel and her colleagues in 90s, is an influential factor of habitualization in cognitive behavior therapy, and proves that our will would change the accustomed way of thinking in our brain to be feasible.
The reasoning that REBT explains about our disturbed feelings can be abbreviated into a string of letters: ABC. A stands for "Activating event" or "Adversities", IB is "Irrational Beliefs", and C is "Consequences". The authors argue that while we encounter unpleasant happenings we will naturally feel frustrated, sorrowful, and sorry. And they are healthy feelings, which are part of our human instinct. So we could avoid badness that we don't desire with these feelings. However, despair, depression, rage these sort of self-downing feelings are another story. They do not stem from activating events, but are the creations of our irrational beliefs. A cannot directly lead to C. They are the irrational beliefs that work right behind our thinking process to create prolonged, self-defeating disturbed feelings.
The authors spent a fairly large amount of time expounding on why and how REPT works in the early chapters. They even quoted the doubts the readers might want to ask and answer them with sound argument. The way we think is well explicated. They are very honest: No single self-help book or therapy works for "everyone" since personal valuation and commitment differ. But according to their counseling records and research their therapy would help most. They recommended you to try out their therapy, read on to see if their words make sense. Along with millions of other readers, my answer is a hundred percent positive.
They stated ten irrational beliefs that are the underlying power that holds us back, letting us feel anxious, depressed, incompetent, and etc., with each belief described through a total chapter. In the first part of a chapter, they listed several reasons to convince readers that those beliefs are really irrational, and then at least one case was unveiled to show a clear picture what and how these beliefs are held within. Cases are sometimes generic but mostly iconic. At the closing comments in each chapter there are several ways to cope with the irrational beliefs.
Not until I read A Guide did I realize that I have so several sabotaging irrational beliefs that disrupt my psyches. For example, irrational belief #2 "The idea that you absolutely must be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving" fits my profile. I used to be a sort of perfectionism thinker. I would just refuse, say, to write this review because of a bunch of silly reasons- I'm tired, my brain not functioning well right now, maybe tomorrow I'll get sober and so on. And my deep-rooted IB was actually the dire fear of failure. I now know I could value myself not in an achievement-oriented fashion. That IB was even blocking me from clear thinking and performing. In P122 it suggests,
"...stress your doing rather than perfectly well. Not that you won't find it desirable to perform well. Often you will, because by doing so you gain more goods, services and favors. Fine! But not necessary."
I now have found this IB inside me and know how to tackle it. I'd accept myself first before finishing an outstanding work. That's called USA- Unconditional Self Acceptance, and is also the main concept of REBT.
Rational thinking is different from positive thinking. Positive thinking is way better than negative thinking, of course. For example, "If I work hard enough I'll succeed at exam" is definitely better than" even if I work this hard I will still likely to fail". But positive thinking has its downside: (1) you can't totally control the environment (2) It may automatically lead to irrational thinking without debunking irrational beliefs beforehand: "I work hard I'll succeed. So I work hard I mustn't fail. If I fail..." That's another "MUSTurbatory" thinking. Instead, rational thinking is like this: I prefer success so I work hard. But even if I don't succeed I still accept myself as a valuable person." In rational thinking you don't down yourself because of your poor performance. And usually, like the authors argue and to my own experiment, the more you take off your "must", "should" IBs the better you perform because you don't let your destructive feelings created by IBs distract you and eat you up.
Well, I highly recommend this great self-helper to anyone who wants to lead a better life and get rid of those disturbed emotions. It teaches you to cope with your anxiety, panic, depression, anger, discovering your underlying irrational beliefs that cause them and to gain self-discipline. This is indeed one of the best self-thelper ever written. In short, it's easy to read (with numerous cases shown), easy to understand, and simple to follow.
Book Review: Pulling the wool over our eyes, and pretty good at it.
Summary: 3 Stars
This book got so many positive reviews, I just thought something had to be wrong. No book can really be so good. I read the book awhile ago, and liked it, but I don't think any book deserves to get so many five star ratings.
Please keep in mind that what I am about to say has much to do with being a devil's advocate, and should not be construed as giving advice.
First of all, I HATE the use of the world "rational". What Dr. Ellis seems to be saying is that being unhappy is irrational. I strongly disagree. This world can be very intense, and there are many problems to deal with. Dr. Ellis says that when we expect too much, we are bound for disappointment. He is entirely correct in saying this. But I do think that people have a right to expect AT LEAST A LITTLE out of life, and some people get nothing at all.
While Dr. Ellis may be right that much unhappiness may be somewhat irrational, I don't think he is universally right.
One thing I have always thought is that people don't pay enough attention to the fact that many of these authors have a good education, intelligence, and make pretty good money from writing books. Many times they are also attractive. Writing successful books confers self-esteem on the author. They receive much attention and gain respect.
Sometimes I think that depression is very rational, and I also believe that suicide is sometimes rational. People often have a pretty realistic assessment of their situation in life.
You mean to tell me that if Dr. Ellis was never able to graduate from high school, and instead of going to college he was sent to prison, was gang raped, had no friends, and so on, that he would honestly be able to tell himself "oh, well, I guess I haven't done well so far in life, but I can still be happy". Gimme a break!
Now naturally, most of us don't fall into such an extreme category, but I think by using such extreme examples we can see how ridiculous it all is. Yes, in most cases, people have the potential to be happier than they are, but certainly not all the time. There are even bound to be some people with very troublesome backgrounds who go on to achieve much success in life. But we shouldn't ignore that statistically, the odds are against that person.
Let's all be optimistic about the possibilities life holds. But lets also be sober about the true facts of our life. There is much about life that is irrational, including some facets of your book, Dr. Ellis.
I don't think everybody has a chance to have self-esteem. I really don't. Self-esteem is based on real accomplishment, and many of us do not accomplish much. Maybe that's what you will talk about in your new book "The Myth of Self-Esteem", but somehow I doubt it. I will have to buy the book used and read it to know for sure.
MJ
Book Review: The Classic: Practical and Powerful
Summary: 5 Stars
Albert Ellis is the grand-daddy of modern psychology, and this book is the classic. While many psychologists and authors focus on one or several "pet techniques," Ellis and this book show you how to adapt an integrated set of rational (cognitive), emotive, and behavioral tools to your personal situations. And Ellis writes this and many of his other books for us non-psychologists...not just for "professionals." The book starts by briefly summarizing the results of Ellis' ground-breaking work on what we do that causes us to feel and behave differently than we want. The author then teaches his general cognitive system...which includes very specific instructions...on how to change these feelings, behaviors, and thoughts. Ellis terms this system the "A, B, C, D" method of "disputing" irrational thoughts that are "irrational" because they (i) are not true and (ii) produce results that we don't want. The book then moves beyond this general system and shows you how to easily use cognitive, emotive, and behavioral tools to effectively stop your unwanted patterns. While the methods are extremely user-friendly, they do require work...beyond the reading.
Because this book shows how to effectively tackle a wide variety of patterns...the following is a partial list of chapters:
1. Overcoming the influences of your past
2. Refusing to be desperately unhappy
3. Tackling dire needs for approval
4. Eradicating dire fears of failure
5. How to feel undepressed though frustrated
6. Conquering anxiety
7. Acquiring self-discipline
...and others.
While many other psychologists/authors, such as David Burns in his "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy," use cognitive methods, Ellis shows how to use many of them far more effectively than most others. And he also includes emotive and behavioral tools, many of which he created years ago and that his non-for-profit institute has used successfully for decades. While Burns' book has some excellent additional tools, I strongly suggest that you start with "A Guide for Rational Living" and then move on to Burns' book if you want.
I've gone back to this and a few others of Ellis' books several times during the last 10 years or so. After working through a new situation, I keep realizing how much this one volume still does for me.
In my opinion, the book's only weakness is its stlye of writing. It's older style is less interesting than that in some of Ellis' newer books. I strongly recommend it not for its literary value, however, but for what it can do for you.
Book Review: Should be called "An UNDERSTANDING of REBT"
Summary: 2 Stars
I really wanted to like this book based on the numerous glowing reviews, but was extremely disappointed. The Authors purport to explain Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy and how it can be used to improve your life. Basically, we take a small upset, and through unhelpful (irrational) beliefs make it seem a catastrophe: ie. A student fails an exam and instead of saying, "This is disappointing and I'm upset about it," instead says, "I'm a complete FAILURE in life!"
While they do a good job of explaining in exhaustive detail the concept that we often take small upsets and exaggerate their meaning through our beliefs into great upsets, they do not present any clear program or exercises to change this behavior. In short, a self-help book this ain't. I was looking for something to better help me deal with depression, and the frustrations and upsets of life, but after reading this book felt I got nothing out of it, and am returning it. I really wanted to like this book, but:
- The writing style is sometimes difficult to understand, and often seems smug, condescending, and harsh toward the patients described.
- Nothing in the book tells you 'What to Do' to cure your unhappiness, even the chapters which seem to promise exactly that deliver nothing.
- There are no exercises or writing assignments, it seems the authors expect you will get better from simply reading, or rather, don't expect it.
- The entire first chapter is devoted to telling you that without a therapist you will never see major improvements. While this may be true (due to our own blindspots) the book devotes itself to explaining REBT without even trying to offer any help or advice on using the techniques.
In short, while I now understand some of REBT and feel a trained REBT therapist could be of use, I don't feel this book offers anything of value in changing our moods and behaviors, except the understanding that we often make things worse than they are through exaggerating beliefs. I will now try instead the highly recommended: The Feeling Good Handbook, Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think, and Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated.
Book Review: WATCH OUT FOR FALLING DOGMA
Summary: 2 Stars
Ever notice in some of the reviews of this and similar books you'll sometimes see people refer to these books as "my bible"...contemplate that for a moment... As Old Order Establishments, such as Christianity, painfully pass away, New Religions rush in to fill the Void and "Rationalism" is one of them. The Old Order was convinced that there was something "wrong" with being human, (i.e. Original Sin, The Fall, Ad Nauseam), and Rational-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy,(sounds Orwellian doesn't it?), makes the same mistake, though it pretends not to. Orthodox religion presented to us what was and was not acceptable, what was and was not healthy, and Rationalism has been quick to catch the falling garter as Old Dame Christianity slowly passes into obscurity. Old Dogma is replaced by New Dogma; but not to worry, it's New and Improved Dogma..."Studies Show"...and all that jazz. But to be "Saved" you "must",(very un-Ellisan word, even if that's what he's really saying), refute the self-defeating words in your head with New Mantras and a New Outlook, and Nothing can be really THAT bad can it? Qualitatively speaking, how does this Newspeak differ from the pronouncements of, say, Bhagwan Rajneesh or any other would be Prophet with their "institutes", publications and Certified Practitioners, (Yes, you can get a List of Certified Rational-Emotive therapists, just like you can get a list of Christian Science Healers). There is something Tragic/Comic about the image of poor folks walking the streets struggling to refute their "IB's", diligently doing their Charts at night, trying very hard to convince themselves that bliss is at hand, it's all in "The Head". I quite agree...just for different reasons. At a time in my life when I was chronically hand-wringing about my life, about what was "True", whether I drank too much, about my tendency toward the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name and other Melodrama, my Best Friend sat me down, looked me straight in the eye and intoned..."There's nothing wrong with you". Best of all, that bit of Golden Wisdom didn't cost me a dime.