Broken
by William Cope Moyers
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Book Summary Information
Author: William Cope MoyersEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Published)
Format: Bargain Price
Published: 2007-08-28
ISBN: N/A
Number of pages: 384
Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics)
Book Reviews of Broken
Book Review: Everyone is Broken One Way or Another
Summary: 4 Stars
This was a good story well told. Like other reviewers who wrote about how Moyers often seems to whine without taking full responsibility for his actions or without truly appreciating his privileged status, I also took note of his self-centered perspective and background. However, I read this book for what I could glean from it and not for what I could criticize. There's a lot of great stuff here! For anyone who might be interested, below I have listed eight basic categories of quotes that I feel have much to say to any of us who might fall prey to addictive and compulsive behaviors, or who know others who are addicted and/or recovering from addiction (that would be everyone!):
1. WHY ADDICTS GET ADDICTED AND STAY ADDICTED: Alcohol had become my new best friend, and I came to rely on it, need it, and love it as much as the marijuana...." ( p. 45). Cocaine was my running buddy, my soul mate, my faithful lover, my reliable colleague, my fun-loving playmate who tagged along everywhere I went. "Alcohol and cocaine were always there for me, they never let me down " (p. 185). " The brain cells actually adapt their structure and their functioning-so that when an addicted person feels anxious, nervous, angry, or afraid, the brain sends out a little messenger that says, "Hey, remember how good it was when you used cocaine, let's do that again!" (201).
2. HOW IT FEELS WHEN ADDICTS ARE ADDICTED: "I knew exactly what I was doing, but I had no idea why I was doing it" (p. 50). "I felt so dirty, so ugly inside and out" (p. 53). "My guilt was intense, monstrous, and it fed my addiction in ways that I did not and could not understand" (134).
3. ADDICTS AND EMOTIONS: "The demons lurking in the basement of my soul... whatever was down there scared the hell out of me. I wanted to run away from whatever was "bumping" to get out and never think about it again. Escape was what I was after, not confrontation" (p. 64). "I was only dimly aware of these deeper feelings" (145). "The daily routine grounded me: getting up at the same time every day, making my bed, cleaning my room, doing my assigned chores... eating three meals a day, meditating, exercising... but those damn emotions kept tripping me up" (167). "I wanted life to not hurt so much, and I was trying to figure out how to manipulate and control my life so that I could avoid pain" (201). "Things were wearing down inside, but I didn't dare let anyone look under the hood" (206). "While researchers and scientists tell us that our disease originates somewhere in the brain, it also lingers in the deepest regions of the human soul" (348).
4. HOW ADDICTS DECEIVE AND ARE DECEIVED: "I truly believed I could make up for everything by proving that I was stronger and more resilient now that I knew exactly what I was facing... now that I knew what I was facing I could rise above it and move beyond it (p. 134). "Lies and untruths were so deeply woven into the fabric of my everyday life" (p. 140). "Denial is self-deception...there was a deeper level of denial which entailed self-deception. I could not accept the identity that was so clearly mine to claim: addict" ( p. 173). "You are only as sick as your secrets... and you can't afford any more secrets... They're gonna kill you" (225). "I didn't' tell anyone about my cravings because I didn't want them to see the weakness inside me... I had the crazy idea that if I didn't say anything about the craving, maybe it would eventually go away, and I also had my reputation to protect" (211). Stigma and/or Fear of Being Discovered'"What will people think of me if they know I was in treatment? Will I lose my job if my boss finds out I was addicted? Will I lose the respect of my neighbors if I'm honest about my past? Will people in my community question my basic character and core values if they discover that I struggled for years?" "Big trouble wouldn't happen suddenly- it would be a process stretching over a period of weeks or months, starting with one secret and then adding secret upon lie upon secret upon lie until I was so full of secrets and lies that they would destroy me" (335). "Addiction is a disease so cunning and baffling, that when it tell s you that you don't have it, you believe it. Then, when it tells you that you can beat it on your own with no help from the experts, you believe that, too" (343).
5. HOW ADDICTS ULTIMATELY FIND DELIVERANCE: "Without the spiritual side of me, I may as well be a monkey... try to find a little time every day to feed your spiritual self" (p. 95). Recovery happens within a community and not in isolation" (p. 161). "Serenity comes from accepting the things one cannot change" (163). "Learn how to let the emotions come--don't fight them. Let them roll out and then deal with them as they come" (p. 200). "My disease is less about the drugs I took than the reason I took them--to blot out pain, to alter reality, to change perception, to numb my fear- because the deepest truth of my illness is my inability to live with what is right here, right in front of me. Accepting life on life's terms--that's the challenge... When you're trying to escape pain, there's only one thing more difficult than living life drunk, and that's living life sober" (208). "We can learn to live sober with our "issues", but only if we recognize that it isn't the issue that drives the addiction so much as the addiction that latches on to the issue for a free ride straight into the complicated neurological wiring that underlies the craving and the desire for oblivion" (247). "I couldn't run away anymore because whatever I was running from wasn't outside of me... Sit in it. Face it head on. Face the pain, the anger, the fear, loneliness, sadness, and shame. Don't hide. Face it.... Face it without asking for an answer or a solution. Face it knowing the outcome is beyond your control and what matters is accepting that it hurts and the reason it hurts so much is because you can't do anything about it. It just IS. Being human hurts...Face the no, the negative, the emptiness and nothingness that is at the center, because facing it is the act of faith itself, and it is not something we ever complete but a daily struggle to find peace in the midst of the chaos, relief at the heart of the suffering" (299). The willingness to "tell another human being my whole life story, admitting every flaw and "defect of character", holding nothing back" (p. 356). Recovery is not about "I and my" but about using the words we and our". Recovery from addiction at its heart and soul is about becoming part of a bigger whole... a community. We are all broken and the only "cure" for our brokenness is to be broken together" (348).
6. HOW ADDICTS STAY SOBER'"My whole life depends on not taking that first drink" (p. 297). "My disease is progressive, I know that, and I know from my most recent relapse that it's progressed into its late stages--if I relapse again, I don't think I'll get another chance" (320)
7. HOW RECOVERING ADDICTS HELP OTHER ADDICTS: "When we speak out, we become beacons of hope and pathways to help for addicts and alcoholics who don't know where else to turn. People will come out of the woodwork asking "can you please help me?" (367).
8. THOUGHTS ABOUT GOD: "It was clear from my relapses that I wasn't ready to let God control everything in my life" (293). Moyers believes he literally heard God's voice! (p. 300). "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous" (351).
Other readers will come up with their own insightful categories. Enjoy the book!
Summary of Broken
From rock-bottom to recovery-the son of veteran broadcaster Bill Moyers chronicles his life-shattering battle with addiction and the hard-won fight for recovery.Unabridged CDs - 12 CDs, 14 hours
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