Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
by John Eldredge, Stasi Eldredge
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Book Summary Information
Author: John Eldredge, Stasi EldredgeEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2007-07-10
ISBN: 0785289097
Number of pages: 256
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Book Reviews of Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
Book Review: Keep Away from Offense, and THINK about it
Summary: 5 Stars
First of all, I'd like to begin by saying that this book touched areas in my heart I had either assumed unimportant or been ashamed of. I approached it with an open mind and an already solid relationship with God, and what I got out of it was absolutely invaluable and life to my soul. For the benefit of those reading these reviews who are trying to decide whether or not to read this book, let me address the main concerns I've seen expressed from my own perspective. I don't fit the stereotype of 'the type of woman who would like this book' given by its detractors, and it spoke deeply to me nonetheless.
-- "Geez, I didn't even feel wounded enough to read this book. The women given as examples had all gone through horrific sexual or verbal abuse, so they need this kind of building up, and me, not so much."
Nor was I wounded enough to read this book. You don't need to be a dysfunctional human being to be confused about the fullness of a woman's role, or to not have had your 'question' (and yes, as a very atypical woman, I believe that the questions the Eldredges have hit upon for both genders are spot on!) answered in a more subtle way. As a girl and a teenager, I was a very intellectual, achievement-driven young woman who tiraded against placing relationships before accomplishments and any form of softness whatsoever. All my friends were male. Other young women tried to befriend me and within twenty minutes were sent packing by my scathing, uncompromising view of everything. As I grew into my early twenties and returned home for a year or two to work in between college and law school, my dad came up to me one day after reading John Eldredge's small booklet about fathering (naming the 'questions' both boys and girls have) and said, "I have to apologize. I raised you well, in many senses, but I raised you as a boy." I blazed through the booklet and found the answer to all my mysterious teenaged behavior. By this point, by God's grace, I was being transformed into the woman He had created me to be and had finally formed a number of close female friendships. "Captivating" was more the resonance with what God was shaping my soul into, making me yell "Yes!" and "Exactly!" to a lot of what it was saying, than it was anything new. And I wasn't tremendously wounded. I was a young woman already walking with God, highly respected, filled with integrity and a growing sense of kindness and compassion. But there was something missing, created by the misstep of a well-meaning, involved, and loving, but slightly misguided father. I challenge ANY woman who believes (and who doesn't come with a metric ton of religious baggage and a hyper-sensitive offense meter) to come away from this book without a truth ringing in her heart.
--"Any woman who doesn't fit this twirly, dopey idea of a woman that Stasi has won't get anything out of this book. I have ____ credentials, was always a tomboy, actually have ambition, blah blah blah self-defense and closemindedness."
Listen, sisters. At age twelve, I could outrun every boy in the seventh grade. I didn't have a female friend until my last year in college. I actually lectured everyone I met about the weakness and frippery that things like makeup, perfume, and shaving your legs engendered (or indicated). I got my high school diploma a year early and my bachelor's degree two years early (at age 20). I was hard. I was determined. Anyone who didn't meet my standards was met with no small measure of contempt. Even after the thaw in my heart came, even after I took a year off of school and discovered much of who I truly was becoming, I took that knowledge and a newfound compassion and used it to reevaluate my path and strike boldly off in a new direction. I'm not waiting to be rescued, and I don't believe that Stasi believes women should wait passively for their prince to come. By digging deep to the core of every woman's soul, she tells us, "Yes, you are lovely. Yes, you are worth fighting for." What to do with that assurance is up to us. It's so key, so central, that it helps us with everything, single or married, working or not, educated or not, 'girly' or not. With that question answered, we can more easily discover our true purpose and more functionally (and joyfully!) go about fulfilling it. Because yes, it's worth it simply because we are. It's so much more worth it.
--"This book is so self-centered, so very unChristian. The author focuses on pampering oneself and ignores Christian duty."
What is duty without joy? And where is joy without self-esteem, or, a much better alternative, God-esteem? Before you can effectively turn to others and affect their lives, you must get the fundamentals right in yourself. And, may I ask further, where's the sin in acknowledging that God didn't make a robot, but an absolutely beautiful living, breathing human being? It's not self-centered to give yourself some attention, but normal and healthy. My greatest joy exists in spreading love among others, being of service, and helping others see who God is and who they are called to be. But without appreciating myself as well, it's all lost in a joyless, tight-lipped mire of "Christian duty," whatever that is. What Stasi is giving women here is a *tool*, not an end in itself. By coming to a fuller knowledge of who you are, you become more able to enable others.
You know what? This book may be a little bit unChristian. But it's very much like the God I know, and I delight in it (and Him).
--"Many fewer Biblical examples than examples taken from secular movies and music, and gosh dang, I'm offended and/or concerned about the validity of the conclusions drawn."
First of all, do you believe God speaks in more ways than one? Secondly, if you read the Gospels and try to get the *spirit* (NOT the law, always the law) of what Jesus was about, He was about speaking and teaching in diverse ways, unusual ways, many ways that offended the established and "Godly" people of the time, the Pharisees. In fact, those Pharisees were livid purple most of the time. Jesus just didn't act the way they expected a good Jewish Messiah to act. Read the story of the water into wine carefully. Yes, Jesus went to a party that was well under way, saw that the guests were already five sheets to the wind, and created barrels MORE wine for them! He kept a wild party going. I'm definitely not condoning drunkenness or saying he did, but am with this trying to say "Lighten up!" Christians are the Pharisees of today. They have expectations, they have a very small, plain box, and they have doctrines and dogmas used as a stick to try to beat the Christ and the living God into their boxed model of propriety. Movies and music Do Not Fit this Box. However, if we consider ourselves as reflections of God and consider that our hearts are indeed the 'wellspring of life,' and then consider that movies primarily deal with affairs, both good and true and twisted and wicked, of the human heart, I believe we can see quite a few reflections of God in them. All the examples used in the book rang true. May I ask, what are you afraid of?
--"Stasi's writing is mediocre. She belabors some points, and her word choice is goofy here and there."
Yes, sometimes. So what? Are you a high-school English teacher or someone looking to glean truth from the very real revelation of a godly woman? Also, better to say it too much than to not say it enough.
--"The sensual language and the comparisons of Jack and Rose from "Titanic" to Jesus and myself just grossed me right out, and heaped on even more offense."
Oh, come on. It's not meant to be literal. It's meant to emphasize that God considers us precious in the most incredible way a woman knows how to be precious. Also, I think the lavish language of love was used so often to get us acquainted with the overwhelming, abundant nature of God's love, rather than using all the approved monastic equivalents. This book was written to instill hope. It does an incredible job.
In short: potential readers, I encourage you to read this book. Men and women. If you do two things, I guarantee you'll walk away from it richer than when you went in.
1) Let go your ease of offense, your nitpickiness, and your dogma. This is a book of heart, real heart, rather than of technicality. You will probably find some discrepancies with what you had drilled into you in Sunday school. Let it GO, and listen to God speak through this woman in a package you weren't taught to approve.
2) Let down your defense mechanisms. I fully realize that if I had read this even a year ago, my iron-clad defenses and presumptions about who I was would have shot up and cut off the life I got from this book. "It doesn't apply." "I'm fine." If you just can't read it, try coming back a year or two later. Much may have changed. It takes a lot of work to peel back all the layers sometimes.
Summary of Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
Every little girl has dreams of being swept up into a great adventure, of being the beautiful princess. Sadly, when women grow up, they are often swept up into a life filled merely with duty and demands. Many Christian women are tired, struggling under the weight of the pressure to be a "good servant," a nurturing caregiver, or a capable home manager.
What Wild at Heart did for men, Captivating is doing for women. Setting their hearts free. This groundbreaking book shows readers the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be. By revealing the core desires every woman shares-to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure, and to unveil beauty-John and Stasi Eldredge invite women to recover their feminine hearts, created in the image of an intimate and passionate God. Further, they encourage men to discover the secret of a woman's soul and to delight in the beauty and strength women were created to offer.
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