Crooked Little Vein: A Novel (P.S.)

Crooked Little Vein: A Novel (P.S.)
by Warren Ellis

Crooked Little Vein: A Novel (P.S.)
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Book Summary Information

Author: Warren Ellis
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2008-07-22
ISBN: 0061252050
Number of pages: 304
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks

Book Reviews of Crooked Little Vein: A Novel (P.S.)

Book Review: Warren Ellis wrote a Novel
Summary: 4 Stars

Crooked Little Vein is some quality distilled Ellis - but I barely know how to review him as the writer of a novel. I found the book to be a lot of fun, but not as much fun as his comics. This is my view of other comics writers gone novelist. Neil Gaiman stands out as a prime example, and try to convince NG fans that his books aren't as good as his comics. It will get you on a lot of $hit lists, and girls in black will knock you down wherever you go.
The book suffers a lack of significant characterization and a narrative that feels novel worthy. It is a collection of side show freaks. There is enough to like about side show freaks that this criticism shouldn't entirely be read as an invalidation of the book. I also consider Palahniuk books to be side show freak conventions - (again) for comparison's sake.
CLV felt contrived in its stages - the `belly of the whale' and such (desperate conflict allowing for significant psychological growth or turning point) was built up to in a mere 2 or 3 paragraphs, 80% of the way through, and resolved too cleanly for my liking.
If you have never read Warren Ellis, it is likely because you aren't interested in super heroes (he expresses frustration with them - but it is the curse of comic books). Check out Transmetropolitian for more Ellis goodness, similar in many respects to CLV - and also don't miss Fallen, or even his Hellblazer work. The protagonist in each of these are cut from the same cloth - and it appears to be Warren's own projected persona, the WE that engages the world in a more direct way than laptop tapping in a pub. The filthy assistants do a wonderful job of assisting filthily (particularly in Transmet and Crooked) and read, to me, to be demoness versions of (Robert) Heinleinian women straight from Jubal Harshaw's staff (of Stranger in a Strange Land, and others).
Warren likes to share his research on the underbelly of everything - esp. technology, culture, sex and the places where they merge.
I suspect this novel will be irresistible as a screenplay, but don't know if it is a strong enough story for that to be a lucrative pursuit. It was enjoyable, though - and I had to take the ride, because I have trusted Mr. Ellis for many years to take me to strange new places.
I'm rounding up my 3.5 star rating.

Summary of Crooked Little Vein: A Novel (P.S.)

Burned-out private dick Michael McGill needs to jump-start his career. What he gets instead is a cattle prod to the crotch. The president's heroin-addicted chief of staff wants McGill to find the Constitution?the real one the Founding Fathers secretly devised for the time of gravest crisis. And with God, civility, and Mom's homemade apple pie already dead or dying, that time is now. But McGill has a talent for stumbling into every imaginable depravity?and this case is driving him even deeper into America's darkest, dankest underbelly, toward obscenities that boggle even his mind.


Michael McGill is a burned-out private detective who suddenly becomes enlisted by an army of presidential goons to retrieve the Constitution of the United States, but not the one we all know about. This would be the real Constitution (the one with invisible amendments) created by some of the Founding Fathers as a fallback for their great experiment. Along the way, McGill gains a polyamorous sidekick named Trix, gets scared to death by what men do with warm salty water, and descends into a world where crime, sex, and madness all seem to be the same thing.

Full of mind-bending style and packed with a wild cast of characters, Crooked Little Vein infuses Robert B. Parker with Kurt Vonnegut and the madness of the graphic-novel world. A surprisingly surreal treat, it will appeal to hardcore comic fans, mystery aficionados, and all readers looking for a riotous summer reading adventure.

Sample Chapter One of Crooked Little Vein

"Chapter One. I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug. It was a huge brown bastard; had a body like a turd with legs and beady black eyes full of secret rat knowledge."

Crooked Little Vein puts you right in the gutter from the first sentence and doesn't let up. Sample the goods with a look at the complete first chapter, and see if you don't get hooked.

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