Dear Judge (Kid's Letters to the Judge)
by Charlotte Hardwick
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Book Summary Information
Author: Charlotte HardwickEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2008-12-03
ISBN: 158747008X
Number of pages: 210
Publisher: Palehorse Pub Inc
Book Reviews of Dear Judge (Kid's Letters to the Judge)
Book Review: What is often missed is the child's point of view
Summary: 5 Stars
Charlotte Hardwick is the author of Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help SourceBook, which is an invaluable aid to parents, lawyers and others involved in custody cases. If you are involved in a child custody dispute, the first thing you should do is get a copy of Hardwick's SourceBook, and then read the letters in this book. You will be amazed at the information the SourceBook contains. It is one of those "invaluable" sources that really is invaluable.
"Dear Judge" is an entirely different sort of book but one with a similar intent, that of seeing custody disputes from the child's point of view. Hardwick has compiled a selection of their actual letters to judges (whom they--usually!--hold in the highest regard) and published the letters in this little book. She has excluded those that are too heart-wrenching, or as she phrases it, are "too dispiriting to print." What the letters have in common is the innocent and (nearly!) guileless efforts of the children to have their voices heard. Unfortunately, while most of these letters were actually read by judges, the judges were often unable to consider the requests of the children because, as Hardwick puts it, "Any communication arriving on a judge's desk that has not followed the proper procedure, cannot be considered by the judge."
What struck me most poignantly about what the children wrote is the fact that for the most part they don't blame either parent, nor do they take sides in the dispute, but instead concentrate on telling the judge what is wrong with the custody arrangements that were agreed to and offer ways to fix the situation. In some cases the children just express how unhappy they are because of the divorce and how much they love both their parents and how much they wish there was some way to get the parents to stop fighting and hating each other.
That is the essence of what these kids are expressing. While the parents are emotionally bent on WINNING at all costs and sometimes filled with hatred toward the other, the children are caught in the middle because the parents often forget what is best for the child. The bottom line in all custody disputes (as Hardwick emphasizes in her SourceBook) is the welfare of the children. What this little book does is remind us of that fact. Here's a little letter that says it all:
"Dear Judge,
I don't think what is going on for me is the same as what is going on for my parents.
I don't know who is right. I don't care who is right.
Clare C."
Another child writes,
"Dear Judge,
I think my mom and dad are fighting because of me. Could you put me in a new family so my mom and dad can be happy again.
Sandy S."
Another:
"Dear Judge,
Please tell my Dad to come home. My mommie cries all the time and it scares me. I don't know if we are going to be alright if he doesnt come home soon.
Tell him I love him and will be a very good girl.
Emily L."
Or simply,
"Dear Judge,
Please don't forget me.
Emily S."
In an inadvertent way that is enormously eloquent, the following letter reveals the psychological damage that a hateful divorce can visit upon a child:
"Dear Judge,
Please don't not make me choose.
William"
I think a lot of good might be done if every parent currently caught up in an acrimonious custody dispute would simply take a few minutes to read through these letters. And it wouldn't hurt for some judges to read them as well.
Summary of Dear Judge (Kid's Letters to the Judge)
190 letters from chldren trapped in a war in which they love and need to be loved by both sides.Marriage & Divorce Books
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