Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: The most important book for new parents
Summary: 5 Stars
I love my boy so much. I tried so hard to help him sleep. I had no idea what I was doing. I hadn't read a single book on sleep before he was born. Nobody told me it was the most important and hardest part of taking care of a baby. All they said was "you can't spoil a newborn." Well what do you do afterwards? What do you do in the time between 4 weeks and 4 months to help them sleep? Well, what I did was rock him to sleep each and every time. I didn't know what else to do. By the time he was 4 months, he was up every hour all night long. That's every night. I never slept. I was dying, falling apart, disintegrating. How could it be this hard? I'm smart, hardworking, and dedicated to being the best mom possible. And for all that effort, I was just spinning my wheels.
I thought this book was just a cry-it-out manual that I would have to turn to later if I couldn't teach him on my own. I WAS SO WRONG. This is the most important book for taking care of a baby. Sleep is everything. I wish I had known, I wish someone told me. Why don't people talk about this?
Please read this book before your baby is born. I mean really read it, start from page one and read through 9 months. If you follow the rules for months 1-4 you will most likely not have to resort to crying-it-out. And if you do it will be minimal. The 5-9 month section shows you where you are trying to get to. It shows you the blue print for the natural sleep cycle of a baby.
If you are like me...I read the book, was committed to sleep training, but wasn't confident enough to do this alone...then you can call and make an appointment with Dr. Weissbluth. We're lucky because we live in Chicago (his office is here) but he does phone consults if you live out of state. Google his name and you'll find his number.
I can tell from meeting with Dr. Weissbluth that it really bothers him that some people think that he's a heartless beast who wants to make kids cry. He wants kids to sleep. It's so vitally important to their well being and the well being of the entire family. He does not believe that sleep training equals crying it out. He wants people to start from the day the baby comes home to teach the sleep habits that help them sleep well. He does not want children to suffer for the first 4 months, sleep deprived, only to have to go through a week or so of crying to make up for lost time. He titled the book "Healthy Sleep Habits" because that is his focus. He advocates crying-it-out because it is the most direct path from bad sleeping to good sleeping. That's all. He would rather a baby cry for a couple of hours total, then go sleep deprived for months or years.
By the way, babies don't just grow out of it. I was waiting for the magic day my son would just figure it out. Things only got worse.
I have to get the word out. Please read this book.
Book Review: A WONDERFUL guide for parents
Summary: 5 Stars
I have to first go on the record as saying that I am not a parent myself, so take what I have to say as you will. I am, however, someone with a degree in early childhood, a former teacher in an infant room for many years and currently a full-time nanny. I was referred to Dr. Weissbluth's book by a friend of mine (who is a mom), and I absolutely love, love, love it.
In my opinion, sleep is the most important piece of care you can give your child, and too many people do not treat it as such. The book itself points out how a parent would not deny his or her child food or clothing, but so many parents do deny sleep. I saw it time and time again with the children I cared for in child care. So many of them were getting through their days on too little sleep, and so were crankier, more wired or sick more often than they needed to be. I also recommended this book to the parents of the infant I now care for when she was 5-months-old, and although they did not follow the book word-for-word, they instituted enough of the ideas that in the span of a few weeks she became a much better sleeper, including going to sleep on her own (almost always in the span of just a few minutes). It is now a full year later, and she is a happy and healthy toddler, who loves her crib, is almost always asleep by 7, never wakes at night, and is more than happy to hang in her crib for however long necessary in the morning until her parents get her up. She also takes a 2 to 3 hour nap every day, and only within the last couple of months has given up her morning nap.
Of course every child is different, and yours may not need quite that amount of sleep, but I'd be willing to bet that if you are even reading this review, which means you are considering the book, your child is not getting enough sleep. Early bedtimes are key, which Dr. Weissbluth lays out in the book. I found the tone of the book to be firm, yet kindly and rational. There may have been a couple of points I did not completely agree with, and I'm sure that would be the case for anyone, but 95% of the book was spot on in my opinion. Some people seemed to have more problems with the book, and of course they have the right to their opinions, but I would also suggest that people get uncomfortable when being told what they are doing is wrong as parents, so some of that may be natural defensiveness. I don't mean to suggest that that is what Dr. Weissbluth is doing in the book, but he is very definite in his ideas, and his ideas are not necessarily societal norms. One needs to change his or her way of thinking about sleep, but I definitely believe it is worth it.
In the end, I can't recommend this book enough. I personally think it should be required reading for every new parent!
Book Review: Love this Book!
Summary: 5 Stars
My kids tend to be good sleepers. Now. It wasn't always that way! I was lucky if I could get my first to sleep for a 45 minute nap when he was a baby! And with a husband that was deployed at the time, that meant I got NO sleep. Until I read this book!
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
The Good:
Expert Sleep Advice
This guy has been studying sleep for over 30 years. There is plenty of scientific data to back up his suggestions on sleep, and he includes this in the beginning of the book. It's not just some Joe-Schmo who had a few kids and thinks he knows everything there is to know.
It's Not Just Cry-It-Out or Attachment Parenting
Dr. Weissbluth touches on both in the book, and this WILL work if you fall into one of the two extremes. However, he is more concerned about the TIMING of sleep rather than the method to get them there. Yes, he does claim that it is easier and quicker if you do allow some crying, but it is NOT necessary.
Age-by-Age Chapters
Once you get past the science part (which, honestly, I skipped with my first baby. Who has the time???) he breaks up the advice by age of the child... birth to 4mo, 5mo-12mo, etc. It tells you how long naps should be, optimal wake time, sleepy signs... What works for your 6mo may not work for your 3yo, so getting the information is optimal. I reread this frequently, especially during the infant time.
IT WORKS!
No, you aren't guaranteed that your 2 month old will sleep 12 hours straight at night. Some may, but that's not the norm. Breastfed babies in particular may need a night feeding until they are 9mo old. But, if you follow this, your children WILL get the sleep they need, and it will make for a happier, more well rested family. My kids sleep 11-12 hours at night, and even the 4 and 6 year olds still take naps almost daily. The baby (7mo old) goes to bed around 6:30pm, wakes to feed around 4am and then goes back down until about 7am. She also takes 2 long naps and one shorter nap every day. All 3 are very happy and well rested, and usually I am too!
The Bad:
Scientific- Not an Easy Read!
The beginning of this book is especially difficult. Once you get into the hands-on chapters it is easier, but be prepared!
Tends to Lean Towards Crying it Out...
And if you are reading it looking for it you may miss where he says it is not necessary. Read carefully!
I recommend this book to EVERYONE I know who has a new baby. I have actually become somewhat of an informal "sleep guru" to some of my high school friends on Facebook. It's not me... it's my "sleep bible"!
Cross Posted at Love Hate Reviews: [...]
Book Review: Totally different child!!!!!
Summary: 5 Stars
PLEASE, if you have a child who doesn't sleep or EAT well, get this book and try it. My 6 1/2 month old has never eaten well (formula allergy as a newborn, became a snacker later on). She rarely ever finished a 4 ounce bottle even though I knew at this age she needed more; she just didn't act interested. She was hyper and couldn't settle and really eat until she was half asleep; so we ended up doing night feedings more than we should have at this age. Six nights ago we decided to let her cry it out. That first night she cried for only 45 minutes at bedtime. She woke at 10 and 3 and cried again for about 45 minutes. It was tough but the next night she only cried a little and it was more of a sleepy/fussy cry, not so angry as the night before. After two nights of me not disturbing her with patting and replacing the pacifier and unneccessary feedings, she ate 5 ounces of formula every four hours on the dot during the day. I couldn't believe it. She was overtired and that was why she was hyper and not eating well. She has been eating like a little piggy all week long. Now she sees her bottle and yells for it. She doesn't fight with it or slap it out her mouth after only an ounce or two. I'm amazed. Please don't just resign youself to believing that your child is a bad sleeper or a bad eater. I had almost convinced myself that she just didn't have a great appetite and she was just a restless sleeper. How wrong I've been! My sweet baby is even sweeter. Now for nap and nighttime, we snuggle for a few minutes and I lay her down awake. She snuggles down and goes to sleep. She occasionally fusses a little at naps, but nothing at night. She's down at 6:30 or 7:00 and up around 7:00 the next morning. I do a sleep feed at 11:00pm and nothing else until she gets up for the day. She actually had the early bedtime before and would be "down" for 12 hours, but with all the waking and restlessness off and on all night. Obviously that was not quality sleep because it did not produce the results this has. Don't believe those books that say pat and shush your baby all night long and if they cry, they'll be warped(see Baby Whisperer book). They desperately need deep sound sleep and it is your job to make sure that they get it. I feel terrible for not sleep training my baby sooner. She could have been eating and sleeping so much better for the past two months (Dr. Weissbluth says you can't start true sleep training until 4 months of age). All in all, this book is a fabulous science based take on the importance of healthy sleep and how vigilant parents need to be to make sure their children get it. I would recommend this to anyone needing help with sleeping through the night or naps.Book Review: Overall very helpful information, poor organization
Summary: 4 Stars
I bought this book while I was pregnant because I knew too many parents of babies over 9 months who were still getting up several times a night. I was afraid of the same fate and wanted to have some information on sleep. After reading a lot of reviews I got the impression that the people who dislike this book are fans of "attachment parenting" and no-cry methods. I decided to buy the book strictly for its information on sleep, not for any parenting philosophies.
My daughter is now 9 weeks old (and according to the book is at the 6 week stage based on being 3 weeks early) and sleeps for 6-7 hours at night. I have used the information in the book to ensure that we get her sleeping when she needs it, and in 9 weeks she has never cried about going to sleep. I have found that the information in the book very valuable. Several things that I would never have know without reading this include the fact that babies cannot tolerate more than 2 hours of being awake, recognizing signs of tiredness which are not obvious, and that the overtired state will seem like a baby is not tired at all. The author gives many different options and suggestion for sleep problems, soothing etc, so I never felt like he was pushing a parenting philosophy. The book reassured me that my family is not doomed to constant night waking for the next few years.
Now the major thing that I really disliked about the book was that it is completely and utterly disorganized. It is very difficult to find information that you want, and there are many times when there is a heading, but the following paragraph has nothing to do with the heading. It is hard to search for information, so I had to resort to folding pages and highlighting (I hate to mark up my books). This was pretty annoying, but overall I felt that the information in it was worth hunting through the book. I still refer to it once in a while, especially since I have not yet read much about the age groups past 4 months.
UPDATE: I have now read into the 5-8 month range and my daughter is 4 months old. I wanted to state that I found the book somewhat more organized in subsequent chapters. Also wanted to reiterate that the information on sleep is utterly valuable, even if you do not believe in cry-it-out. Just ignore that part of the book if you are opposed to that method, because there is a lot of information in it on sleep patterns that I have yet to see anywhere else. As my husband stated one day about the development of our babies sleep patterns, "(the author) writes it, and then she (our baby) does it, it is as if she read the book". And we still have had very little crying and a baby that logs more sleep hours/day than other babies that we know of.