Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: NOT appropriate for Adoptive families!!!
Summary: 1 Stars
The author Marc Weissbluth MD mentions that crying-it-out doesn't interfere with attachment. He never says anything about "attachment in adoption" however. All babies need to attach to their parents, and maybe letting your kid scream alone for an hour won't hurt a kid you gave birth to (i have no idea, really) but he also advises this for adoptive parents, and that's just bad advice.
In fact, adoption is only mentioned on THREE of the 457 pages of this book. THREE OF THEM. It is almost completely anecdotal, too. There is one brief paragraph from the author, ending with the sentence (on p. 428) "The following story illustrates how experienced parents were able to help their new child learn to sleep better, even though she hadn't slept well for nine months". Okay, how does HE know how the baby slept for the first 9 months prior to adoption???
The story goes on to say "We arrived back home late that night....the next day we paid a visit to Dr. Weissbluth's office, and he advised us...put her down at 9am for a morning nap...if she cries, pick her up after an hour." AN HOUR, for a NEWLY ADOPTED 9 month old?!?!
A later paragraph states "I was convinced that she was missing her foster father and that she was grieving for everythign she had left behind in Guatemala....I mentioned my "grieving" theory to Dr. Weissbluth, who politely discounted it. He said that when babies wake up in the middle of the night, they are in a twilight state between sleep and waking. They aren't likely to be grieving or doing much else.... he suggested putting her to bed earlier...she might still be overtired." Again, this runs completely COUNTER to what we know of adopted children who CAN talk, for starters. And discounting grieving in a child who was attached to her foster family and had stranger anxiety and didn't know who these new strangers were??? (stranger anxiety was also mentioned earlier in the story).
Later the parent writes "Have these healthy sleep habits produced a happy child? You bet. (she) is a joy to be around. As we've all gotten to know each other better she has become much more affectionate." Does anyone else think maybe TIME GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER maybe was the huge factor there, since they were complete strangers at first? It's even possible, perhaps probable, that letting this poor little girl cry it out only prolonged attaching to her new family.
Adoptive families can take the author's advice on sleep or leave it, but please don't take the advice without looking at what little he knows about adoption.
As an adoptive parent, I am appalled.
Book Review: Lifesaver for first-time parents
Summary: 5 Stars
My only regret with this book is that I didn't get it sooner! I purchased this book when our son was 6 months old (he's now almost 10 months). After a few hours of researching the endless stream of baby sleep books, I eenie-meenie-miney-moed it and ordered this one. My scientific method of selection certainly paid off! : ) Our son wasn't a super-difficult baby (no colic), but he certainly had his moments, especially after the sun went down. My husband and I both work full time (I had to return to work only a few weeks after delivery) and our son's temperamental sleep patterns were REALLY taking a toll. Like other reviewers on here, we took turns waking up multiple times throughout the night, which resulted in us spending months sleeping in separate rooms. Anyway, at 6 months his sleep patterns actually started to devolve even more, so I bought this book for some guidance. Can't recommend this book enough! BUT, you must take it for what it is and not expect a miracle! Every child is different. The author discusses in length the myriad of challenges and solutions a child and its parents may face, but it's up to you to figure out the ideal solution for your individual situation. He does recommend the cry-it-out method, but only in applicable situations, which he thoroughly discusses (and I must say I support his stance 100% after I experienced first-hand that bed-time battles in older children are much more the result of learned behavior than actual sleep problems). He also recommends the family bed in some cases (extreme colic, etc.), but thoroughly covers the guidelines of this method so as to limit the occurrence of problems down the road. In a nutshell, the book is REALLY thorough in it's coverage of just about everything related to baby sleep. The book is thick, slow-reading, and slightly technical due to all the statistical data he references from his numerous case studies. (The author repeatedly recommends new parents read the book BEFORE the baby comes as it's VERY difficult for sleep-deprived people to wade through the information and comprehend it!) Finding the solution to your baby's sleep problems isn't easy (and once you do figure out what works, everything changes with the next age milestone!), but you will find something that works in this book. You just have to be patient and thorough and you will succeed. It's worth the work! We have the happiest little guy in the world now as long as we stick to our sleep-schedule and pay attention to his changing needs and sleep cues! As I said before, he's almost ten months old and has been sleeping from 7pm to 7am, without any wake ups.Book Review: Author shows signs of ADD
Summary: 3 Stars
While reading this book, I couldn't help but think of Geoffrey Rush's performance in "Shine", or Robin Williams antics during a "Tonight Show" interview, or trying to make a 3 year old explain why the sky is blue. Or even, trying to create a portrait with a paint ball gun!! It brings these chaotic images to mind, doesn't it..full of diversions and detours and digressions. Entertaining when you deal with comedy, yes..but this is not the label you would want for this type of book. It didn't get 1 star for 2 reasons: 1) I liked the fact that the good doctor is not a strict "Back to Sleep" advocate. 2) It was good to see that there was actually a perfect description of my 3 month old girl which meant that we, as parents, were doing the best we could.
The book is disorganized, repetitive, at times contradictory. It is by no means a structured "How To" manual. Try this: pick 2 pages at random and see how many points he has repeated. As my title suggests, the good doctor was not able to build progressively on any one point. There is much useful information dispersed like confetti within the writing..good luck organizing it. Editor, Editor, Editor...much like the real estate mantra "Location, location, location".
To parents who would like their baby to experience deep sleep during those few times they sleep, consider this: try tummy down. I am beginning to believe that the tremendous reduction in SIDS cases has NOT solely been due to the "belly up" campaign. The data analysis that brought about this campaign DID NOT consider the social/economic environment of the households polled (smokers/education/alcoholism). It has become the first commandment in sleep posture because it simply worked without considering why "belly down" didn't work. This has been intuitive for me after observing my baby sleep for the first month..tummy up and tummy down. I'm sorry folks, "belly up" during the infant years, goes against mother nature. While scouring articles on the web, it is apparent that some scholars in pediatrics are beginning to question the "Back to Sleep" campaign as well. There is an important petition:
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/SIDSandPlagiocephaly
which explains in great detail why we should begin to reconsider the entire SIDS policy. The consideration of "Slow Wave Sleep" is extremely important. That's my two cents..and now even if my baby doesn't sleep a lot, she sleeps deeply..and I can tell since she's alert and happy when she's awake.
Book Review: This book can really help establish good habits for you and your child
Summary: 5 Stars
A very good friend of mine gave me this book right after my son was born, and told me it is her sleep bible. Now it is mine also.
I have read several books on sleep, on fussiness, etc. Our son is 5 months old and was a very fussy newborn with a lot of trouble sleeping. This book has proven very useful, despite its flaws.
The book is really poorly written and hard to follow. But persevere - it does have useful insight and advice that, if you can just pull them out, will make all the difference. Weissbluth sets expectations about what to expect when with babies' sleeping patterns, and also gives straightforward advice to parents about how to make sure the baby is sleeping enough.
Getting the baby to sleep is at least as much about training the parents and caregivers as it is training the baby!
From Weissbluth I learned how much my baby should sleep every day, when he should sleep, how his sleeping patterns will evolve. I learned how important it is for us to be consistent, to provide the right environment for sleep, when and how we might 'sleep train', and generally how to help our son sleep.
At 5 months our son naps 3 times a day, for 4-5 hours total, and he sleeps about 11 hours at night. He has just started sleeping all the way through the night. It has been a long, hard road to get to this point.
Don't take Weissbluth too literally. He is very clear that different things work for different babies. So, for instance, he says that there is no research to suggest that solid foods will help your baby sleep. But there is so much anecdotal evidence that it does, and I through my own experience into that pot. Our son started sleeping much better at night once he started on solids about 3 weeks ago. And not just rice but sweet potatoes were what helped. He was simply hungry during the night before he started eating some hefty foods, he did not wake.
As another example, Weissbluth suggests that the morning nap, that evolves at around 3-4 months, should start between 9 and 10. Our son is usually asleep by 8:30am. Weissbluth also says that babies should awake between 6 and 7, and our son awakes about 5:30am. We just watch our son and trust our instincts, but use the book as a guide for how to approach his sleep.
As my pediatrician says, "I read the books, and you read the books, but your son doesn't read the books."
Nonetheless, Weissbluth has helped us get it mostly right so far.
Book Review: Save your money
Summary: 1 Stars
Let me save you the money and the time reading this WAY too long book. Dr. Weisbluth's theory is this:
1. put you child down to nap at 9 a.m. and 1 p.m. (and short evening nap if they are younger)
2. put your child to bed between 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. (Preferably the earlier time.)
3. Get your child up at 6 or 7 a.m.
What if they cry? Let them. FOR HOWEVER LONG THAT TAKES.
Cons:
--Book is hard to follow and it all comes down to the above points.
--Filled with statistics.
--Doesn't allow for any room to differentiate.
--DID NOT WORK FOR US--In fact it made our situation (which we already thought was bad) WAY WORSE-- (and my son was up every hour when we desperately started grabbing for straws and purchased this book.)
His theory (and the testimonials that are included) is that if a child cries himself to sleep he is less likely to wake up. And if he does wake up in the middle of the night you let him cry and then the next time he should know how to put himself to sleep. My son (9 months old) cried between 1-2 hours when put down for 3 nights. Then would wake up with increasing frequency SCREAMING and would cry for 40 - 90 minutes. All told we would have about 5 hours of crying a night. Day 4 was terrible. My son was exhausted and miserable and clingy like I've never seen him before. In fact we ALL were exhausted and miserable.
But determined to stick out "the program" as encouraged, I laid him down in his crib "drowsy but awake". He screamed for 20 minutes AND THEN HE CLIMBED OUT OF HIS CRIB.
Yes, our mattress is as low as it gets. Yes, our crib meets all new safety regulations. And YES, HE DEFINITELY CRAWLED OUT. He had a black and blue eye and a bump on his head.
It has a few MINOR good points:
1. Recommends earlier bedtime...We started this and it has definitely helped.
2. Recommends establishing bedtime routine. We already did this but we made it a little more solid. Also seems to help a lot.
I think that's it for pros.
All in all, save your money. Unless you don't mind hearing your small, dependent child crying for you to come relieve the loneliness and sadness that he feels while all alone in his dark room.