Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: Wish I'd read this sleep book first!
Summary: 5 Stars
This was the best "baby sleep book" that I read for various reasons and I wish I'd read it before my son was born! It would have explained a lot and really helped. As it was, I read it when he was four months old and it was a huge find. I did a LOT of reading before and after birth about childrearing and this book is the bible about infant sleep science compared to the others. I agree with other reviewers who love this book as an "in between" as far as strict schedules on one hand and mayhem on the other. First and foremost, this book is not just written by a physician but one who specializes in sleep and has actually conducted research on the topic. I find the Sears family approach on various things helpful but I think for sleep babies really do need more "leadership" for lack of a better term, in order to create healthy sleep habits for life. This book has super helpful info for sleep throughout different ages, including teenage years. The most important takeaway to me was just how important sleep is for babies and that it's really up to the parent to facilitate healthy sleep habits (more like healthy sleep SKILLS, really). I have so many friends who started out "no cry," couldn't stand the idea of a hearing their dear baby cry and scream at night. No parent does. BUT, these are the parents who had babies who were wrecks at night. This means the parents, or mothers at least, were wrecks during the day because THEY couldn't sleep at night. Finally just about each of these parents I know ended up saying they couldn't take it anymore and they were going to "Ferberize." Talk about all or nothing. This is the must-read book I recommend to pregnant friends. It's amazing how before I read this book I THOUGHT I could recognize a tired baby but once I read it I figured out I was seeing an overtired baby. By the time you see signs like rubbing eyes, fussy, etc. you're past that and should have put baby down earlier. At first when I used Weissbluth's tips my husband didn't understand why I was putting our son down so frequently and before he "looked tired." After 2 weeks of seeing how absolutely happy and cheerful our son was when truly well-rested, I never heard another peep about that and he has thanked me so many times.Book Review: helped with my stubborn sleeper
Summary: 5 Stars
This book helped me to get my 5 month old to sleep through the night. I recommend it to friends all the time. I got the book when my son was about 3.5 months old and at the time I was rocking him about 3-4 hours a day to get him to sleep and stay asleep. I was back at work and totally exhausted. I read the book and tried some of the ideas in it, for example putting him to bed at what seemed like an insanely early hour (6-6:30), but it did help although he still was not sleeping through the night. Most nights he slept 6 or more hours in a row. I was still rocking him to sleep at this point. A couple of weeks later, he was getting up every hour or so. After reading the book, I knew it was because I was rocking him and that he needed to learn to sleep on his own. I knew I had to let him cry it out for his own well-being. The first night of crying lasted 20 minutes. The second night there was no crying. Some nights he fusses for a few minutes, but sleeps well. Of course there were some bumps in the road with illness (croup and bronchiolitis) which set us back, but on the whole he (&I) are much happier! He is now happier when he is awake. I now know that keeping him to a schedule is imperative. Not being on his schedule is the number one reason for fussiness now (and he is really not fussy at all-I get comments all the time about how happy he is). He needs to be in bed for the night by 7:00. Period.
Everything that I've implemented from this book has helped. I was not willing to let him cry until he was 4 months old because I had read that babies cannot soothe themselves until then. Letting him cry was hard, but I truly believe that the small amount that he did cry at first has saved much, much more crying in the long run. This book was well written and unlike some of the other books, was not judgemental about how you put your child to bed (some of the other books I had read made me feel like a bad parent for rocking him to sleep, this book just presented facts, options and suggestions). It was presented in a factual manner with some very practical tips. This book was a sanity saver for me!
Book Review: not what I was hoping for
Summary: 3 Stars
Perhaps I didn't like this book because the author seems to be quite anti-breastfeeding. He claims he can help you make a decision on whether or not you want to breast feed and mentions the words "sore nipples" countless times in the book and never mentions the benefits of breast feeding to your baby. He includes an article from a lactation consultant and then highlights/bolds how the baby might be fussy. DO NOT USE THIS BOOK TO HELP YOU DECIDE WHETHER YOU WANT TO BREAST FEED. It turned me off the book because this was supposed to be a sleep book not an anti-breastfeeding campaign. After reading the book - I just felt he wrote it to justify letting his own children cry themselves to sleep and not being able to cuddle/calm them when they had colic - as the mother of a very fussy baby - I know that you can do more than just wait until time passes by and the baby reaches 12 weeks.
the good things:
(1) the emphasis for your child to get sleep
(2) learning to read subtle sleep cues
(3) nap schedules
(4) I'm an engineer - so I liked some of the hypothesis based on data
the bad:
(1) anti-breast feeding
(2) many contradictions (never wake a sleeping baby - oh wait - wake him up to preserve the sleep schedule. don't let your baby get overtired - wait, if you miss a nap let him be overtired and preserve the sleep schedule. Rock your baby to sleep until he is dead weight - oh wait - let him cry and do nothing)
(3) unfortunately many people who are not in the 10% of "very difficult" baby (who do not have to let the baby cry it out) will use the extinction method
(4) there was one passage where he substituted his own opinion over actual research data because it contradicted his opinion. that in science is a big no no.
(5) he states that you shouldn't use "extinction" on kids younger than four months but then gives examples of sleep training babies that are 6 weeks and 2 months?
Good luck with getting your baby to nap and/or sleep better. In the end - you really don't need a book - just go with what you feel is right for your baby.
Book Review: Practical advice, based on research
Summary: 5 Stars
I appreciated the fact that much of what Weissbluth writes he backs up with research from sleep studies, unlike a lot of parenting books, which don't use actual studies to back up their claims.
I wish I had read his advice on developing a nap-time soothing routine and nighttime sleep routine and being consistent--I could have avoided a lot of crying. After the christmas holidays, my three-month-old was only able to sleep while being held. He couldn't even sleep in his car seat--he would just wail and wail. Even when I did hold him, sometimes he was so tired that he cried for a couple minutes in my sling as I desperately jiggled and patted him. I have to go back to work next week and I was worried about how he would ever get enough sleep at a daycare, where they would not be wearing slings to help him sleep!
So, I developed a quick naptime routine and started it on a Monday: swaddle, rock in rocking chair with shushing and patting until the baby is asleep or almost asleep, then put in his crib on a blanket with a special scent in a darkened room. There was a lot of crying on Monday, which sucked. But I reminded myself of all the crying he did in his car seat when he couldn't soothe himself to sleep. Then on Tuesday he went down for his first nap without any crying. There was still some crying during the later naps but not as much. Wednesday was a miracle--he only cried 3 minutes after I put him down for his 2nd nap, and slept well for all his other naps.
I have only two nitpicks with the book. First, the organization is poor. It is repetitive and occasionally hard to use as a reference book because the information is scattered all over the place, especially the information on months 1-4.
Second, he says that breastfeeding in the family bed does not create sleep problems, but doesn't go into great detail. As someone who has chosen to breastfeed in the family bed, I think he probably means that both mother and baby still get a fair amount of sleep because they never completely wake up. But still, he should really explain this better.
Book Review: IT WORKS PERIOD!
Summary: 5 Stars
This book has been a god send for me! I have been a single mom most of my baby's first year with my husband away. At first I used to let my baby stay up until she was tired which was usually later than me. Then I would put her down and she would sleep for 7 hours which was fabulous until she started solids at 6 months. My baby started waking up in the middle of the night to breast feed. She would wake up 2-3 times which was confusing because she was getting more than just breast milk. Only to find out she wasn't hungry she just wanted comfort and had programmed herself to get up every night at the same time! I finally picked up this book and wish I had done so sooner! It explains in detail the reasoning behind the importance of sleep and if you catch your baby at the right time (due to their natural cycle) you can have a baby sleep through the night without having them overtired, hence the crying themselves to sleep - I used all the techniques and observed my baby so that I could keep the crying to a minimum. She started sleeping through the night within 3 days of implementing the technique and she takes 2 two hour naps a day - she has just turned one and the routine hasn't changed, 9pm-7am every night and 9:30-11:30 nap in the morning and another in the evening at 3:30-5:50 give or take. I cannot tell you how much more effective it is to invest the time initially by reading this book when they are babies! People tell me I'm lucky to have such a good baby, and she is wonderful, but I can see how her habits could have gotten out of hand had I not taken the time to try this method. It saves a lot of time, stress and headache moving forward, not to mention creates wonderful sleep habits and sleep association for your child!
I recommend this book to everyone who has children it's worth the read and the time to execute the training technique. From a parental sanity perspective, there is no substitute for the "me" time gained while she takes her naps and goes to bed at a reasonable hour.