Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: I wish there was a NO star rating
Summary: 1 Stars
I purchased this book, and was only able to read the first three chapters. The ideas in this book are outrageous and horrifying. I threw it away rather than return it to the store. I don't want to be a part in putting that on a shelf where someone may purchase it. Yes. It is that bad. Sickening, really.
The "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is by far more helpful. It is humane and considerate. It also gives lots of different helpful advise, understanding that all babies are unique, and you, the parent are the expert on your child.
My stomach turns into knots when I think about what this wacko says to do to your child. This book is AWFUL. I will never, NEVER let my child "cry it out". My child knows he can depend on me. I don't think answering his basic needs - even during the night- is too much to ask for. He is my child for heaven's sake. Crying to the point of vomiting??? Earplugs to drown the noise of your baby crying for help?!!! Seriously?????
I will go the no ear plugs route, and have my baby snuggled contentedly to me all night where we will enjoy a peaceful nights sleep, occasionally waking momentarily to nurse and snuggle again. My husband and I and the baby are all well rested, and happy and have been every day of my son's 15 months so far!
Here is a much gentler and WAY more helpful book if you are experiencing any sleep disturbances: The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
Book Review: Sleep Training is a Necessity for Children and Parents
Summary: 4 Stars
I like this book, but I hate reading it, I completely agree it could use a good edit. But, I do believe it is an excellent resource. I have found it to be largely successful. Our baby was a fussy guy but now he sleeps and naps well, but it was a lot of work to get him there and I used the tips in this book.
I do however, wish to note that I did not use the Extinction method right away, it did not feel right for us. We did things in stages, patting and shushing, etc. When we finally did use Extinction for getting rid of the night feeding it was short and painless. I do believe that in order to train sleep it will involve crying, if you have a mellow baby it will be less, it you have a spirited baby (like my guy) it will be more.
I also believe that sleep does need to be trained. We need to train our babies to eat (even nursing which should be inate), potty, etc. Sleep is no different and with training comes frustration and frustration is exhibited through crying. I feel terrible while it is happening but in the end it pays off hugely for both parents and babies.
One last thing, take with a huge grain of salt people who make you feel bad for sleep training, saying that you should wear and sleep with your baby, especially when other cultures (i.e. African or Island cultures) are cited. There are parenting practices that you may find repugnant in those cultures as well so comparison is really not so helpful. For our family it was the fact that we need sleep to be good parents and our baby needs good sleep to enjoy himself, we are all much happier now.
Book Review: Very Helpful
Summary: 5 Stars
I bought this book a few months before my first child was born on the recommendation of a friend who used it for both of her babies. I can't recommend the book highly enough. The book recommends you put the baby to sleep after maximum awake periods of 2 hours for at least the first 4 months. For at least the first 6 weeks after my baby was born I was highly frustrated as it was difficult if not impossible to get him to sleep so regularly ... luckily I stuck with trying it and by 3 months my son was sleeping through the night (7PM until 4:30AM or 5AM and then again until 7AM) and started taking naps very predictably at the same time every day. When he isn't sleeping he is happy, smile-y and a joy. I also didn't need any of the 'let him cry' moments that the book is criticized for by some.
From watching other friends struggle with baby sleep and nap habits I know I am lucky. Actually, my friends have been telling me I am lucky ... what I really think is that this book helped me so much it looks like luck but was actually the positive effect of the book. Even my mother (who is never restrained in giving 'advice') was amazed at how well behaved my son is. She started questioning whether my brother and I as children were overly tired and that was why we cried so much. She said, "since this book wasn't around when we were babies" she had no idea babies needed so much sleep and definitely didn't make such an effort with naps as I did.
I have no idea if my experience has been luck or good preparation from this book but reading it can't hurt!
Book Review: Best I Have Read!
Summary: 5 Stars
First of all, I was struck reading the negative reviews of how many people (usually emotional females) declared this method 'cruel' or 'inhumane' when it was obvious that they had never even tried it. They would pre-judge the method from the start by saying something like this "would not work".
I must say I was a little sceptical at first when I tried Dr Weissbluth's method on our 9 month old who was not good at falling asleep without either a bottle, a car ride or a stroller ride. We were told by plenty of people that letting your baby cry is cruel etc. The problem is that we were keeping her up until 10 or 11 at night and hardly getting any time for ourselves. This made parenting a little stressful and exhausting as it left little spare time during the day.
But Dr Weissbluth's method made a lot of sense as it is co-ordinated with you baby's natural sleep habits. This means that when you put your baby down at the correct time it is ok to allow for a certain amount of crying as it is teaching your baby to self-soothe. It is also important to co-ordinate with your baby's natural sleep rhythms.
The first time we tried putting our daughter down early it was tough as she cried for an hour! But then the next day it was 25 mins. Now the most she ever cries is about 5 minutes. And she sleeps longer and is generally a happier baby during the day!
This vital information was missing in the Babywise book and I agree with previous reviewers that Weissbluth's book is much more helpful and practical.
Book Review: Great methods
Summary: 5 Stars
After buying myself 20 months of poor sleep b/c of following attachment parenting nighttime methods, I had reached my wits end. I was also 6 months pregnant and in sore need of some sleep that didn't involve my daughter's waking up every two or three hours in spite of the fact that she had been weaned at night for several months. After three days of extinction (no patience for anything else) she started sleeping through the night with not a peep out of her. This is a child who MIGHT have slept a maximum of 5 consecutive hours once or twice since she was born!! It's been 3 weeks now, and while we're by no means perfect in this method, my sleep and hers have improved by 100%. I appreciate many of the facets of attachment parenting, but when you start resenting your child for causing your lack of sleep, then it's time to change something (and not my attitude like some AP people might say). I should also mention that she only cried a maximum of 20 minutes the first night which was much better than I expected.
Dr. Weissbluth helps parents to appreciate that their children's need for sleep is as fundamental as their need for food. That was the real wake-up call for me. I still need to do a better job of protecting her naps b/c sometimes, I regretfully let her go without one and boy, am I sorry. It's hard to be so hardnosed about a child's sleep schedule, but I think having a well-rested, cheerful child is the payoff. No one wants to be around a whiny, exhausted child, including the parents.