Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: Wow -- lots of sleep, VERY little crying!!!
Summary: 5 Stars
We were TIRED and desperate when my husband and I found this book, but when we ordered it (and dished out $$$ for express delivery), I was anxious about how I would feel about it. Reading other reviews and some of the text online, I hoped it wouldn't be another 'cry it out' book, advocating teaching small babies independence so that their parents could live an adult life with minor disruption. Needless to say, I had scanned plenty of those books and wasn't interested. On the spectrum between BabyWise and Dr. Sears, my husband and I fall in the middle, with an inclination, probably, toward Dr. Sears. And this book is something that, within days of reading and trying the tips, gave us confidence to know what our 4.5-month-old son needs -- SLEEP -- and how to make sure he gets it.
I was especially surprised and delighted by Weissbluth's philosophy in reference to breastfeeding. A lot of the books that focus on getting a baby to sleep through the night at an early age disregard, even chastise, the nature of a breastfed baby. How many times had I read that I should somehow try to prevent my son from nursing to sleep? Weissbluth permits, even encourages at times, nursing a baby to sleep. (And there is ample info about formula or bottle-fed babies' habits, as well.) Finally, he states repeatedly that a baby in the 4-9 month age range can be expected to wake at least once in the night for a feeding. Needless to say, this alleviated a great deal of the frustrations that I found with other books. He also seems comfortable with co-sleeping -- we do not have a family bed in our house, but it seems pretty supportive of those who choose that route.
I should say, our goal was not so much getting our son to sleep through the night -- he already did that pretty well (most nights) on his own. But he had virtually eliminated any daytime napping and had begun waking at night -- and not out of hunger. He was just restless and couldn't fall or stay asleep on his own anymore. We needed to know how to increase the quality of his sleep and the quantity of his naps (which, in turn, increases the quality of his sleep overall). And just four days after beginning with Weissbluth's philosophy, we are already seeing significant results. No, it's not perfect, and we adapted some of his methods to suit our own style, but just yesterday our previously difficult -- if not impossible -- little napper went down for three naps, totalling close to 5 hours on the day, with virtually no crying (maybe fussing for 30 seconds, at the most!). This is 100% thanks to what we have learned from this book.
Not the most user-friendly in its organization, possibly, but I have found it to be good enough to go through in a few minutes and get a sense of what I'm looking for. It would be best to read it chapter by chapter, but as any exhausted parent can tell you, that's not always possible! :) I also find the personal testimonials helpful, as I can find several that have elements of the challenges we are facing.
All told, just a really great book. If you are completely uncomfortable to let a baby fuss or cry a little by him/herself, this might not be for you. But in our experience, a VERY SMALL amount of fussing has saved us from hours of rocking, shushing, and doing anything else to get our boy to sleep!
Book Review: For those who are serious about raising a child
Summary: 5 Stars
Over a year after picking up Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child I'm writing back to endorse Dr. Weissbluth and his book. I find it interesting to read through the other reviews here and contrast our own experience with the many positive and few negative experiences. For those considering adopting Dr. Weissbluth's methods I offer the following. Our daughter is one of the most happy, well adjusted, and pleasant children I have ever seen. We have received constant compliments since she was very young about how alert she is, as well as how she is always smiling. She has been well ahead of the averages in just about every developmental category (coordination, verbalization, etc.). She has slept regularly through the night during the vast majority of her first year and maintains the schedules outlined in the book. While both my wife and I like to attribute all of this to good genetics, we know a big part of her disposition and development is that she is well rested, and that makes everything else fall into place. This stands in stark contrast to the majority of babies we see who usually appear lethargic in contrast, often looking around with a dull stare without interacting with their surroundings.The past year has not been without challenges. Early on it took a rough three nights to get her sleeping through the night (meaning 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep). She did this at eight weeks, and my wife was crying along with her; feeling guilty and hurt but unwilling to turn off the baby monitor. On several occasions when travel or illness interrupted the schedule we had to go through the cycle again, though with each cycle she had an easier time getting back on schedule. The effects of not getting enough sleep are obvious; she gets passive, cranky, and is visibly not herself. At one year of age she has no problem sleeping a straight 12 hours each night (7pm-7am) plus 2 naps each day (1-2 hours each). Again, we have to be conscious of her schedule and plan our activities around those times. Following the schedule is a decision we have made and are fortunate to (for the most part) be able to accommodate. None of this is cruel, harsh, or about abandoning your child. It is about being the adult in the relationship; planning and caring for your child not just for today but for the future. Raising a child is not as simple as reading an instruction manual or cooking from a recipe so expecting exact step by step instructions is not reasonable, but the book has more than enough guidelines to get you there.
We are also fortunate enough to have Dr. Weissbluth as our pediatrician and I can tell you that he is easily the nicest, most gentle and understanding doctor in the world. The dictionary should have his picture next to the word `Grandfather'. Dr. Weissbluth's warmth and understanding have been especially important to my wife who has been the one to really put his teachings to the test.
One last note - we get the occasional "you are really lucky" comment. We don't buy it for a minute. Our daughter is a terrific little girl because we consciously work at it and follow the guidelines in the book. The last thing any new parent needs is yet another piece of advice (you get it from everyone, right?), but do yourself a favor and check out this book.
Book Review: Overly harsh and rigid sleep regimen - (some good advice)
Summary: 2 Stars
In this book, Dr. Weissbluth explains in detail the importance of sleep (nighttime and daytime) to a child's well being. He indicates the key mistakes parents make (primarily, keeping irregular schedules with overly long periods of wakefullness). I bought this book along with Richard Ferber's "Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems". Dr. Weissbluth gives very detailed instructions on getting your infant on a sleep schedule from a young age (3-4 months; possibly earlier in some babies). In some ways it simplifies things to have someone give such specific criteria to follow. However, there are some aspects of the book which particularly bothered me:
1) It does not take into account individual differences between babies -- To me, it doesn't seem logical that all babies are going to need exactly the same pattern of sleep.
2) Parents are instructed to let babies cry as long as it takes for them to fall asleep without intervention at night -- I agree it's important that babies learn to soothe themselves, but I MUCH prefer Dr. Ferber's program with periodic reassurance from parents (and for parents) that all is well. To let a baby cry alone for 2, 3 hours at night even if it gets the desired result of learning to sleep through the night seems cruel and selfish. In fact, Dr. Weissbluth comments on Dr. Ferber's approach saying that he is sure it could work but that it puts too much of a burden on parents to have to keep going in at periodic intervals. I think that when a baby is faced with an important but difficult lesson, parents should not feel burdened to help them through it.
3) Dr. Weissbluth frequently comments on the "magic window" of putting a baby down for a nap, when he is tired, but not overly tired, and how parents need to adapt their schedules to their baby's needs -- I think it's absolutely correct to emphasize the importance of respecting a baby's needs, but this seems easier with an only child. We have an older daughter who has to be driven to and from school, and other classes, pets to take to the vet, doctors' appointments that need to be kept... It's not always possible to fit all of these commitments at precisely the right moments when a baby is well rested, and a nap is not being compromised. Dr. Weissbluth frowns upon naps taken in car seats, strollers, carriers etc. as not being as restful as a nap in a crib. I agree but I think reality sometimes means a nap takes place in less than ideal circumstances.
Overall, I think the book does a good job emphasizing the importance of sleep and in outlining general patterns of sleep for children of different ages. I do not feel comfortable, however, with the methods used. I would urge anyone who would like to give their baby the opportunity to learn to soothe himself at night, to consider reading Dr. Ferber's book and at least trying his method. If teaching your baby to sleep through the night works within a framework of the parents periodically reassuring the baby (for us it worked beautifully with our older daughter, and we plan on using the same method with our baby son), surely that is preferable to success that comes with a baby crying by himself, for as long as it takes.
Book Review: I'm here to purchase yet ANOTHER copy for a friend!
Summary: 5 Stars
I first gave my opinion on this book when my daughter was 8 weeks old and thankfully sleeping very well (we had been following Dr.W's advice for 2 weeks). I guess we are lucky we began early because we never really allowed a sleep problem to develop. Our, then, 6 week old woke us up all night - but she was 6 weeks old! I was more interested in preventing a sleep problem in the future and DID NOT want a child that cried herself to sleep every night because her parents continuing to go to her "keyed her up". Yes, we all needed our sleep but I never would have continued to let her cry night after night if this advice was not working. BUT IT DID WORK! Within the first week and on through the first teeth (another story) she went to bed at 7pm, woke at 2-3am for a bottle, and then usually slept until 8am. Occassionally, she would wake and take a bottle at 6am.I am writing again now that my daughter is 9 months old! She sleeps from 7pm to 6:30am, takes a bottle and goes back to sleep until 8am. She naps at 10:00am and 1:00pm (she gave up her late afternoon nap at around 7 months). We are "lucky to have such a good sleeper" people say and keep in mind I also got a lot of harrassment about "my strict schedule". But I was not strict, my daughter was not crying, I was protecting her right to sleep at normal nap times and bedtime. Believe me, this is a sacrifice not a selfish act. Sure it would be easier to tote her around all day at my convenience and toss her into bed whenever the relatives are finished passing her around but I try to keep a schedule for her instead. She had and still has a positive attitude about her crib and her sleep. When she is tired, she holds her "Lovie" and I will take her to her bed where she rolls onto her side and goes to sleep.
I have just finished reading several of the 1 star reviews regarding this book and I just want to say again that it is a MUST READ! Use it if you can and trust your own insticts as well. It is not a legal document - there is no place to sign away your parental rights at the end. If you are not able to use your own judgement you will be forever frustrated as a parent.
Once,when my daughter was about 3 months old, she had gone to bed at 7pm (as usual) and woke fussing at 8pm ( this was unusual). Of course, I went to her - and found the cat was in her bed! Another time I followed my insticts to find she was indeed sick. There are exceptions. But, most recently, I have been pulling out the book again because she has taken to throwing her pacifier to the bedroom door at night(we hear it hit the hardwood floor and were going back in to give it to her.) Now she hollers MaMa or DaDa for us to come back in and give it to her. She knows exactly what she is doing and although we are proud of her ingenious behavior to keep us playing we don't want an ongoing bedtime problem. It may be time to eliminate the "binky"! :-) Or maybe a slightly later bedtime. We are still working out the kinks on this issue...but
I highly recommend this book. We have a wonderful, happy, well rested daughter. She trusts us, loves us, and is very secure. She is VERY much loved and we love this book! Good luck and happy sleeping!
Book Review: Thanks to This Book, I Have the Happiest Baby!
Summary: 5 Stars
My daughter is now 5 months old and could not be a happier baby. She wakes up smiling every morning. She sleeps 12 hours a night (6 pm - 6 am), waking up only once to eat, if at all. I put her to bed wide eyed and smiling and she falls asleep within minutes for the rest of the night.
She takes three naps a day that last at least an hour. Sometimes her afternoon nap lasts 2.5 hours!
Two months ago this same baby was crying everyday for 1.5 - 2 hours between the hours of 5 and 7 pm. She was inconsolable. My poor husband would come home from work every day to a screaming baby. We would hold her, rock her, give her gas drops, put her in the Bjorn, take her outside - ANYTHING to try to calm her down. Some days I was convinced it was gas, other days I was convinced it was because I ate something that disagreed with her. I felt so bad for her. She would cry until she couldn't cry anymore.
A friend loaned me this book and I realized that it wasn't anything I ate and it wasn't gas - my baby was TIRED!! She wasn't napping more than 30 minutes at a time and I was putting her to bed at 9 pm. I read Dr. Weissbluth's book and learned about a baby's sleep needs in general. It was hard letting her cry and I understand why people can't do it and think it's cruel. But, Dr. Weissbluth explains that if your baby is not hungry, crying during a time when they should sleep is merely protest crying. They are communicating that they do not want to and cannot sleep. I started with consoling her without picking her up by rubbing her and talking to her. I did not want her to associate crying with being picked up. I then let her cry for small increments and then up to 30/40 minutes max. It was one of the hardest things for me. But I knew she was not hurt, I knew she was not hungry and she needed to learn how to sleep on her own. She was not crying from pain, but crying because she was trying to communicate with me that she did not want to sleep. I knew she needed to sleep and now that she knows how to do so on her own, it was one of the greatest things I have ever taught my daughter. Now, if something wakes her up (the dog barking, a phone ringing), she usually goes back to sleep until she is rested. If she wakes up crying, I know she isn't fully rested and I sooth her back to sleep. I have stayed home a lot over the last couple of months to respect her need to sleep every 1.5 hours. I have felt couped up at time because I keep our "exception" days few and far between, but it's been worth it. If we have an "exception" day where she misses a nap or goes to bed late, she recovers quickly. She is so happy, alert and calm. People always comment on her pleasant disposition. I know the fact that she has great sleep habits now will pay off when she is a toddler and even later in life.
I don't know what I would have done without this book. I would still have an overtired cranky baby on my hands and have no idea why!! I'd still be constantly giving her gas drops!!!
Dr. Weissbluth's suggestions are not rigid - they are flexible, they make sense, AND THEY WORK!!!