Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
|
List Price: Our Price: $6.97 You Save: $9.03 (56%) Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Buy Used: from $0.54 (click here) Category: Book See more book details and other editions |
|---|
Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: Disappointing, be aware
Summary: 1 Stars
Be aware of baby trainers who think it is fantastic to "let babies cry", "force them on sleep schedules", and "don't pick them up". This is detachment parenting advices, rather than instinctive attachment parenting, which is the natural way of caring for your baby. When I read this book, I feel a cruel taste in my mouth in child caring. I don't feel any love towards babies in this book. This is a twisted way of caring for children in Western world, where babies are forced to cry out, because of impatient parents with their selfish needs.
I personally and strongly dismiss "cry out" and "extinction" solution according to Ferber, and what Weissbluth somewhat suggests. I find this not only mistreating, but dangerous to your baby's health. To let your baby cry out him/herself causes stress and confusion. Remember that your child's only way of communication is crying. This is your child's words. Latest research shows that it is dangerous for your child to cry out: The blood pressure increases, so that it is more difficult for oxygen to reach baby's vital organs. In addition, while crying, i.e. screaming, your child's body produces stress hormones, which is damaging to your baby's health. Moreover, babies, may loose trust in his/her parents, by not being responded to his/her needs. The temperature rises in your baby's body: you can view this in your baby's face, and feel the sweat covering his/her body. Also, I don't agree on "Training up a child", with schedules, letting babies' cries (??), not picking them up. This is scary information given by baby trainers that support detachment parenting, to create distance between mother and child, not attachment parenting. In one section he says, and I quote: "Crying is not the real issue. We are leaving the child alone to forget the expectation to be picked up." This is truly frightening. He says that to keep a child in the bedroom use "a stiff door hook" and to keep a child in the crib use a crib tent to "prevent social interaction at night." He even says directly, "Leave him alone." I don't feel this is thoughtful or wise advice. If your child cries so hard she vomits, he says "try waiting until after you think she is in deep sleep before checking and then quickly clean her if needed." If needed?! That section alone makes me distrust the whole book. Several parents quoted in the book say they feel cruel, insensitive and guilty, and I can surely understand why.
Besides, some information given by Dr. Weissbluth is conflicting - On one page he claims "To never wake a sleeping baby", while on previous page, we should wake up our sleeping baby in order to protect our baby's napping schedule. I find "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" to be somewhat confusing, repeating, over-scientific, cruel for a parent information book.
But, like I said, only some information is valuable. I personally like to recommend "No cry solution" by Elisabeth Pantley, "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West (The Sleep Lady), or why not just trust your own parenting instinct? When a baby cries, respond to this very natural communication. (Attachment parenting)
Book Review: SO WORTH giving a chance!
Summary: 5 Stars
My first born is 12 weeks, and has become a great sleeper. I credit that to the advice I learned so far from this book. Many reviewers say things that simply are not true. For example the author does NOT always stress cry-it-out. There are several sleep training strategies he suggests, based on the temperament of your baby: easy, common fussiness, extreme fussiness/colic - along with what the parents are comfortable with. ONE of these options is extinction or letting them cry (from 8-16 weeks, only if they are easy or common fussiness). But there are also strategies of controlled crying, or checking and consoling. Dr. Weissbluth says MANY times in this book, when a baby is in the first 6-8 weeks DO NOT let them cry! He also states in big bold letters "Sleep training does not equal cry it out". So many of these harsh reviews are the result of a hasty read, as they do not align with what the book actually says. I think you'd do yourself a favor to give this a chance and not go by these reviews, or you could miss out on some very valuable information.
Personally, I do not recommend reading this cover to cover, especially if your baby is already born and you're crunched for time. Explore the table of contents, and start with what you need to know NOW, and go from there. I went straight to page 195 when I began this book, to read about the first four weeks when my baby was first born. I was a brand new mom and just needed to get an idea of what to expect that week. I was ready and had braced myself for that 5-6 week "peak fussiness" that I had read about - and then it arrived, right on time! Don't read about colicky babies if you have a baby with common fussiness, or if you should be so lucky, a very easy baby. I bypassed that and hope I will NEVER have to go there! :) You have to take it in sections to really get the most of it. I read some ages ahead of time, and then re-read them when my baby got to that age. I got something new out of it each time I reviewed the information and was always amazed at how much what I read matched my child's development and temperament at each age. I am still not through this book because my son is only 12 weeks old. I have a long way to go before I've gotten all I will get from this book.
Don't take my word for it. My baby boy is living proof that instilling healthy sleep habits based on these methods works. Last night I put him down at 8:30 and he slept almost 8 hours straight before a quick feeding, and then back to bed for 4 more hours. As a matter of fact, because we followed Dr W's advice from very early on, so far we really haven't had to deal with "crying it out". Our son is used to being put down drowsy but awake, usually (and it's impossible to ALWAYS do this) before he has crossed the threshold from drowsy to overtired - after 2 hours of wakefulness. So when our bedtime routine begins at 7-7:30pm, by 8:30 he is drowsy and ready to be put down. Sometimes he will fuss a little, but it's nothing a few soothing pats and replacement of his pacifier won't solve.
Give it a chance! You may be very glad you did.
Book Review: Don't wait till the baby is born - read it now!
Summary: 5 Stars
I read this book when my daughter was 11 weeks old. She would rarely nap and was erratic in her bedtime sleeping - I thought I just had a baby that would not sleep or nap. I read the book and decided to try the methods simply to disprove them. THEY WORKED! When he said to put the baby down every two hours after being awake I laughed thinking it would never work - she simply was not tired then. I put her down and off she went to sleep like clockwork ... this went on for months until she changed her nap schedule on her own about 6 months old and now takes 2 gresat naps a day. She smailes when she sees her crib and knows its nap time.Being well rested makes her such a happy baby. i have also noticed that she has a long attention span and is not easily frustrated like babies of friends who don't have their children on sleep schedules.
the biggest compliant I have seen in the reviews is that it is horrible to let your baby cry. We have had a few crying episodes but they have been few and far between and are always my fault for letting her get overtired which makes it hard for her to calm herself down and go to sleep. As a mother I know her cries and I can tell when she is just mad because she would like to stay up and play, when she is just whining or when there is something wrong - a burp or something uncomfortable on her clothes, etc. Obviously I go to her when I know there is a problem as any mother would. The parents out there who think it's so bad to let the baby cry... I guess you will let the baby play with a knife because they want to and will cry if you take it away. I guess you also will not put the baby into the car seat because the baby doesn't want to be strapped in. It's absurbright? but the thought that you as a parent are not allowed to let them cry a little in order to do what is best for them like sit in the car seat or not chew things that are dangerous, etc. (or be well rested) is a joke. Do you not let your baby get shots because it will hurt?
Dr. Weissbluth empowers parents to do what is best for their baby. He gives you the knowledge and agenda to put them on the road to being a healty sleeper. WIthout this guidence I think it would be hard to let the baby cry. This gives you step by step instructions and gives you constant positive affirmations that you are doing the right thing for your baby. we all know it is easier to just go pick up the baby and rock her to sleep rather then let her cry and figure out ON HER OWN how to learn to fall asleep - which is a skill as those of us know who have had babies that could not sleep on their own.
Don't listen to those who rip this book apart because they are not secure enough parents to do what's in the best interest of their children. As strong, educated parents we all know the importance of giving our children the tools to learn skills on their own - this skill happens to be sleeping. your baby will wake up as mine does - cooing and talking and jabbering away in her crib because she is well rested and happy! kudos to Dr. Weissbluth!
Book Review: best sleep book I've read
Summary: 4 Stars
My eight-month old baby is great in every respect, except she refuses to sleep. She resists naps in the daytime and hates going to bed at night. I didn't want to let her cry, and tried the ideas in the No Cry Sleep Solution (actually I'd already been doing most of them before I got the book). But it made no difference; she was still waking up every two hours round the clock, and wailing until I nursed her or rocked her back to sleep, or just brought her back to our bed for cuddles and thrashing about for a long while before she dropped off. She has an aversion to being in her own crib, and although I'm fine with co-sleeping up to a point, it was getting too much for all of us; my husband was on the futon, and nobody was getting enough sleep. Marc Weissbluth has been helpful in outlining a realistic goal for napping and sleep habits. I've also been impressed that he's less hardcore than some books (e.g. Jodie Mindell) about recommending a single method for every child/ family. He acknowledges that some babies may be able to sleep well even if the parent always helps them go to sleep for naps; others are more resistant. He's also pretty positive about breastfeeding, and he acknowledges (again, unlike Jodie Mindell) that some babies of 9 months may be genuinely hungry after four to six hours of sleep, which means that up to two night feeds is still reasonable. His idea of how long you let a baby cry is more than I'm prepared to do -- "no more than an hour" for naps and "unlimited" at night. But he also describes a range of different methods, including "fading" (like what Sleep Lady recommends: you stay in the room and gradually move away), and a version of Ferberizing (checking after a set time, but don't pick up). He mostly favours the more brutal "Extinction", which is basically about crying it out. You may or may not be willing to do that, but it's worth knowing that there are times when it's easier than others. I've been pleasantly surprised at how easily my baby can settle herself for a morning nap, though bedtime is still usually another story. I hadn't realised that my baby finds it harder to fall asleep when she's really tired. Weissbluth has helped me be much more conscious of early signs of tiredness. This book has much more information about the range of sleep patterns in babies of diffferent ages than other books I've read. If you're going to buy just one sleep book, this is the one I'd recommend. The truth is that no book is going to give a magic solution for all babies or all families. My baby still wakes up in the night, and she still quite often wants to play and cuddle, not just feed and go back to sleep. I'm not prepared to do the round-the-clock sleep scheduling Weissbluth might recommend, because there's a limit to how much I'm going to let my baby cry. So maybe we just have to stick it out for a while longer. But this book certainly helped me assess the options, far more clearly than either Pantley, Ferber or Mindell.Book Review: Didn't work for us
Summary: 2 Stars
For a book targeted to sleep-deprived parents, this book may do more harm than good.
My first complaint is that it could be half as long.
I was initially excited by the lengthy, clear, and well organized table of contents, but the pages referenced in the table of contents often don't correspond to the expected subject matter.
Weissbluth often contradicts himself, and primarily on a central and controversial core message of the book, when to use "cry-it-out." In the beginning he says using the "cry it out" method isn't usually recommended for most babies, but then he spends half the book talking about the cry it out method and all the instances when and why it should be used.
Here is just one example. p. 247: "It is not a good idea to go to your child before 6:00 AM, even if he is crying, because if you do he will begin to force himself to wake up earlier and earlier in order to enjoy your company."
the very next sentence:
"The natural wake-up time seems to be an independent neurological alarm clock in these young infants that is somewhat independent of the part of the brain that puts them to sleep or keeps them asleep."
HUH?? First he makes the claim that if you go to a child before 6 AM you will cause them to wake up even earlier the next day, then he says the child's wake up time is innate and internal.
I did find some of the sleep research fascinating, but it isn't always clear when Weissbluth is citing a referencable and scientific study or interjecting his opinion. I think most of the book is his opinion, and I tend to disagree him after having two very different children (and witnessing many other friend's children and their sleep needs.)
If you are sleep deprived, this is NOT the book to be reading. It will probably just confuse you even more.
In case this is useful information for anyone, I did the horrid "cry-it-out" method exactly as described by Weisbluth with my son for 5 straight days at 6 months and then again at 10 months and his sleep habits didn't improve at all. They only were worse at the end of both terrible experiments and he came down with a bad cold by the end of the week both times. I'm sure it was because he was crying all night, literally, off and on for 5 days and getting at most 6 hours of sleep in a 24 hour cycle.
Fortunately, I found the Hand in Hand Parenting website, which is full of great information (including sleep information) and I think both my son and I have recovered.
www.handinhandparenting.org/articles.html
I highly recommend their articles (which are free online) and pamplets (which are inexpensive).
Good luck with your sleep issues! Everything passes and changes, no matter what you do (or don't do).