Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: Poorly written, illogical, bad advice, with a little good information thrown in
Summary: 2 Stars
I write this review while my 6-month old daughter naps peacefully in my bed... she won't nap in her crib. She'll sleep 10 hours at night (in a row!) in her crib, but will not nap there. That's why I picked up Weissbluth, but he was no help.
Anyway, here's what I didn't like about this book:
1. it is poorly written & horrendously organized- it seems like the purpose is to confuse you
2. Weissbluth mixes advice that is well backed by scientific evidence with advice that he seems to have made up out of his own head with nothing but scanty anecdotal evidence. Most of the child-rearing books do this, but what makes W particularly infuriating is that his advice just seems mean-spirited and wrong to me.
3. it uses scare tactics- eg your child will be bratty and fat if you don't force him to take naps!!
4. it's damned confusing- did I say that already?
5. his tone is condescending and mean, and he takes pot-shots at other books. what did Dr Sears ever do to you, Mr. Weissbluth?
Now, here's an illuminating quote. When I first found this gem, on page 10, I knew I was in for a treat:
"Remember, there are no universally "right" or "wrong" ways, or "natural" versus "unnatural" styles, of raising children. Less-developed societies are not necessarily more "natural" and thus "healthier" in their child-rearing practices. After all, strychnine and cow's milk are equally "natural," but they have altogether different effects when ingested."
I nearly fell out of my chair when I read this! How could I read on? Well I figured that at the very least, there would be some entertainment down the road. I have never read such a stupid and pompous statement in a book that was actually published, EVER! This just proves that the man has no critical reasoning skills whatsoever. He probably failed the LSAT. He probably didn't get enough naps as a kid. I mean, C'MON! How am I supposed to trust him as a scientist, which he loudly purports himself to be. This book is based on his own research and years of experience as a Ped. Well the man is STUPID!!! Why would I trust my children to his methods? Why why why?
Now, here's the thing. If you can get through this book, it seems to read like a troubleshooting manual for a computer. Lots of micromanagement, try this, try that, you're not doing it right, etc etc. But I gave it two stars, and not one star, for a reason. There is some good information in here. There are some good ideas. You just have to wade through a lot of garbage to get to it. I'm afraid there is probably more good information in this book than I will ever know, but I am just not patient enough to find it. I value my time too much to spend it reading this crap. I'd rather be reading Goodnight Moon for the four-hundred zillionth time.
that is all.
Book Review: Not for the faint of heart but so worth it!
Summary: 5 Stars
I LOVE THIS BOOK. IT SAVED MY SLEEPLESS INSANITY AND MY FAMILY!
I originally read this book six years ago when my first daughter was nearing 9 months old. I couldn't bear the thought of her "crying it out". I read many books and we tried many different methods, including Dr. Ferber's, Dr. Sears and Elizabeth Pantley. I really never stuck to one method for any length of time because none seemed right. Dr. Ferber's method seemed to egg on the crying. Each time we went in to say "it's okay" and pat her back and tried to reassure her, the crying only intensified. Dr. Sear's "family bed" was making us crazy. None of us were sleeping. We battled sleep issues for four solid years after that. Needless to say, it was not easy.
With the onset of our second daughter, I vowed not to repeat the same mistakes. From the day she was born, I could tell that this one was a fiery one and she was going to give me a run for the money. In my sleepless delirium, I re-read Dr. Weissbluth's book, from cover to cover. This time, however, something clicked. It all made sense. I started trying to put her down awake at 3 months old. I played her lullaby CD and darkened the room, put her coziest blanket in the crib and her bear. She would cry and cry and cry. Over an hour each time without falling asleep. So, I waited two months. At five months I tried again, but this time it started to work. She would fall asleep sometime after 10 minutes, sometimes after one solid hour. This was only going on at naptime. I still did not have the courage to go cold turkey at night too. I was nursing her to sleep at night and then she would wake up every 2-3 hours. Finally around 9 months, I started at night. It took about 3 weeks before she finally started getting it. It was agonizing listening to her cry, I had to turn off the monitor and walk away. But the sound of silence, once asleep and the happy little face, after good sleep made it all worth it. She is now 16 months and a really great sleeper. She loves her bed and typically goes to sleep without complaint. If she wakes up at all during the night, she goes right back to sleep within minutes. We are all a much happier family when she gets her naps and good nigthtime sleep. It is not easy sometimes adhering to a very strict sleep schedule, but it is SOOOO worth it. This baby is so much happier when she is on her schedule. I know that if I had to do it over again I would do it in a hearbeat.
There is NO substitue for Healty Sleep for your entire family. If you don't start now, please start soon. It will save you from years of bad sleep habits. Read this book and really think about the benefits of good, healthy sleep. When your children sleep well, you all sleep well. I hope that YOU sleep well soon!
Book Review: It really works!
Summary: 5 Stars
We were at our wits end before this book. After consulting our pediatrician for help on why our child would not sleep through the night and would scream til he made himself sick when we'd lay him in his crib, we bought this book with our doctor's recommendation. As I read through this book I learned that all the habits my husband and I had created with our son had created the miserable child he had become. Working full-time during the day and my husband working nights, no one was getting any sleep at all. My husband would nap with him on his chest, I would run errands all day and let him nap in the car. I would rock him to sleep around 8-9pm so we could spend time with him after I was done with work and before my husband left. He would wake up several times a night, screaming and crying in his crib. We didn't know what to do - but we learned from this book that our child was seriously sleep deprived (as were we!) and that his naps were all off scheduled as far as timing them to help him ultimately sleep better at night. I really thought that this would be harder than it turned out to be. I had surrendered to the fact that I was going to have to let him cry awhile (up to an hour) I didn't think I would make but I vowed to try for all our sakes. Being that he had been staying up so late, Dr. Weisbluth recommended an extra early bedtime for at least 4 days to help him catch up on sleep and regulate his schedule -after which it could be moved up 20 mins at a time until we reached the goal time we wanted to set for bed. For us this was 6pm. At 4pm I fed him dinner, bathed him and then gave him his bottle as we rocked in his chair. We he was done I laid him down in his crib and he put his head down. I sat in his chair and waited a while with him. He never tried to get up, he fussed a bit and tossed and turned. When he was distracted and looking the other way I snuck out of the room. He cried for about a minute and a half and then fell asleep. He woke up at 1:30am had a bottle and when right back down to sleep - no fuss at all. He woke up babbling and smiling and so happy! We were amazed!! I'm not kinding when I say that my son screamed until he was sick before I tried this method - please try it, be patient and if need be get a glass of wine to calm your nerve and sit in your laundry room with the dryer on. If you give it a try, I guarantee you will be surprised. These reviews that mention kids being in the family bed, waking up several times a night, etc sounds to me like the parents are being regualted by their children, not the other way around. Good luck and think of your child. You will have a different, happier baby when you are done. We have been successful for a week now - 2 naps a day and only once a night he wakes up to drink. It really works!!!Book Review: Great Primer On Sleep Information
Summary: 5 Stars
Very informative! This is a book to teach about sleeping. Bought this book after a friend loaned it to me. Will be giving it to all my friends! This book helped build my confidence as a new mother. I didn't feel guilty about protecting my child's sleep patterns because I had a doctor backing me up! =) The knowledge I gleaned from these pages helped me to understand my own baby's signals and cues and combine it with general information on sleep! Dr. Weissbluth studied SLEEP habits specifically and has some great data on norms and ranges on either end of the norm, and what you can expect when it comes to forming sleep habits. I liked that he addressed different personalities and how this affects sleep habits. Fussier babies will take different techniques than calmer babies. He talks about these different situations. I liked that he had experience and studies behind his advice-- it was more than just opinion.
No book written will ever be a "manual" on how to care for your baby. Books and outside advice cannot take the place of mothering. But every once in a while you find a book that sheds new light on a subject or expands your knowledge in a way that you can improve/help find/learn to use your own motherly instincts... or at least help rub out that little smidgen of doubt that might hover in the back of you mind. (Don't second-guess yourself!)
This book helped me set and keep a schedule that left my baby, now toddler, well rested and happy. Schedules have evolved and are based on my child's natural sleep rythm's- they are not rigid and set by me-- I just assist my little one in maintaining this schedule (just as she is not able to feed or bath herself!) There are definite patterns though and sleeping "whenever" just doesn't cut it. It is AMAZING to see the difference between a well-rested child and an overtired, easily upset one!
Finally: I found this book to be a great tool in figuring out the amount of sleep needed from birth through childhood (still refer to it every few months with my toddler) It seemed to focus more on the importance of sleep and outlined the overall amount of time needed, wake and sleep times, and nap times and lengths. Dr. Weissbluth talks about different ways to implement the sleep habits and which ones tend to work better in different cases. (He prefers cry it out method, but actually explains many other methods and how they may or may not work and why) I did not need to use the cry it out method and found his other tips and advice quite helpful for helping my little one sleep. His emphasis seems to be on the destination (proper amount of sleep) and not the journey (use the sleep methods that work best for you and your child) and gives different routes on how to get to that destination!
Book Review: It worked for me!!!
Summary: 4 Stars
I know that some reviewers found Dr. Weissbluth's methodology somewhat inflexible, but like all advice books, I read it with a grain of salt and adapted it to my son's personality. My son did not like taking his naps and often went to bed around 9 p.m. Our pediatrician had given me some tips from Dr. Weissbluth's book for when he turned 4 months old, so I implemented some of them early. But when my son was nearly 5 months, he would not sleep for very long and fussed with every nap. I bought the book immediately and read it in one night. Although the book indicated that I should gradually adjust my son's sleep time, I found that the first week, after implementing the nap times, my son went to sleep at 8 p.m. without a problem, the second week at 7 p.m., and now he goes to bed around 6 p.m. No fussing unless he has a poopy. My son sleeps from 6 p.m.-6 a.m. now!!!! I let him wake up slowly in the morning and then provide his first feeding at 6:30-7 a.m. He takes his first nap at 9 (+/- 30 min) and his second nap at 1 p.m. (+/- 30 min). If he takes a poor afternoon nap, I simply adjust his bedtime earlier by 30 minutes. This happens rarely (and only when he's teething.)
Some of the other reviewers have mentioned that hearing your baby cry hard is very difficult and I agree that you should adjust the methodologies in the book to your child's personality. Does your child seem especially needy? If so, you may need to take a tougher road. But if your baby's patterns are well known, and you feel in tune with your baby's needs, I think this book can really help you with your baby's sleep needs. Knowing that my son knew how to console himself, rather than letting him "cry it out," I do a much gentler methodology. If my son starts crying when he goes to sleep (this happens about once/week), I wait 15 minutes. I then quietly open his door and "sniff" to see if he has a poopy. If not, I wait another 5 minutes and go over his daily schedule (I have a whiteboard that tracks my son's eating and sleeping schedule on a weekly basis.) This way I can see if he might be going through a growth spurt and might be hungry. At this point, if he's still crying, I will quietly check him for any discomfort and bring a bottle. If he doesn't have a fever and isn't teething, I will give him a small snack. (Please note that I DON'T bottle him to sleep. He is often still awake or becomes slightly awake because I wipe his mouth with a damp piece of gauze.) Most often he is crying because he's had a poopy and needs his diaper changed. Once he's clean, he settles right down and sucks his thumb and goes to sleep.
Other moms and family are amazed at how easy it is to put him to bed and how easily he sleeps so well. I get a lot more done and I sleep better, too.