Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: Good book but I wish it had more details of how to get your child to sleep better
Summary: 4 Stars
After searching Amazon for a good book on sleep, I noticed that many people were recommending this book. I began reading the book online, and I saw that Dr. Weisbluth knew a lot about children's sleep. I purchased the book.
When I first started reading the book I thought that Dr. Weisbluth had all of the answers to my baby's sleep problems. I liked what he wrote about putting the child down when he's tired but not overtired, and trying to put the baby to sleep for naps at around 9 and 1. He has a lot of good advice.
At the same time, I found that this book left me feeling confused and upset about things that I shouldn't have been so confused and upset about. When you read the book you feel like if your child is overtired it will cause him a lot of problems. I agree that it's important to have a well-rested child, but I don't think that having fear that your child will not be rested helps the situation.
I found that he had good suggestions and thoughts, but I didn't feel like the book brought up all of the details of situations that could happen. For example, my son was falling asleep nursing most of the time, but when he didn't fall asleep nursing we couldn't get him to go to sleep. Dr. Weissbluth didn't really address that issue.
What ended up working the best for my son was waking him up when he finished nursing, and then putting him in his crib awake, and letting him cry himself to sleep. I was very hesitant to let my baby cry, because I just couldn't stand hearing him cry, but in the end I think that it was really the best thing to do. He sleeps through the night, and now I have some time at night to unwind, relax, and prepare myself for another busy day.
I feel that people who don't let their children cry either have easier babies, don't need a lot of sleep, or are basically exhausted all of the time (which is what we were). If you can handle it, and you're not exhausted, go for it. But if you can't handle it, I agree with Dr. Weisbluth that it's best to leave your child and let him/her learn to sleep.
All in all, I found his book to be very insightful. You can tell that he knows a lot about sleep, and his suggestions have definately helped us plan our child's bedtime routine. My only complaint is that the book can leave you confused and unsure of how to get your child to sleep better. After reading the book, you know your child needs more sleep but you don't neccessarily know what to do in your specific situation.
After I read the book, I really wanted to talk to Dr. Weisbluth to plan a program for my son, but he charges $600 for you to speak to him in two 1/2 hour segments.
Book Review: I adore this book!
Summary: 5 Stars
I cannot say enough about this book.....However, I'll start by telling you my story.
From the very first day that my daughter came home from the hospital she did not want to sleep anywhere except with me. I was told by many that I should have her sleep in her crib from the beginning. The first day home I tried putting her in the crib for a nap, my husband and I laugh when we think of the look on her face, If she could talk I think that she would have said "I know that you are not even thinking about me sleeping here". She slept in our room for the next 17 months. Every 2 weeks I would try putting her in her crib, she would cry and I would feel terrible. It was my job to protect and love my child, why would I do this to her? I didn't HAVE to, so back to our room she went. Besides, I loved having her so close. My husband was not so happy and it became a sore spot.
Everything changed when she was about 16 months old. She began tossing and turning, kicking, waking up in the middle of the night to get off the bed to play. Our previous arrangment worked because we were all getting sleep, now none of us were sleeping, it was time to move her into her bed. I saw an article about this book in a parenting magazine and ordered it. Here is a recap of the move from family bed to crib and then crib to big girl bed:
Family bed to crib
Night #1 - cried for 42 minutes, slept for 5 hours, woke up cried for 18 minutes, slept the rest of the night.
Night #2 - cried for 35 minutes, slept for 2 hours, woke up cried for 10 minutes, slept the rest of the night.
Night #3 - cried for 11 minutes, slept through the rest of the night.
Went to bed everynight with no crying for 8 months until we moved her into her big girl bed.
I used the book for that transition as well.
Night #1 cried for 1.5 hours, slept for 1 hour woke up and cried for 1 hr 45 minutes, slept for 3 hrs, woke up cried for 45 minutes, slept the rest of the night.
Night #2 - Cried for 3 hours, slept for 2 hrs, woke up cried for 1.5 hrs, slept the rest of the night.
Night #3 - Cried for 20 minutes, slept the rest of the night.
It has now been 5 months and she sleeps in her bed everynight with no crying.
This books works if you follow the advise. The point that really stuck with me is that we are the parents and know that our children need to be independent and must have rest. I realized that I was being silly allowing a one and half year old child do the parenting for me. She is so well rested and happy now. I give the book to friends and at baby showers. I have had so many people thank me for it.
Good Luck!
Book Review: Change YOUR behavior: let the baby cope. NO EXCUSES!
Summary: 3 Stars
"Just Do It." This book is for parents finding confusing, competing messages on sleep habits from various news sources or the parent who wonders where sleep fits in with today's multiple priorities pulling the family in too many directions."Just Do It" - organize your life around the baby's sleep schedule, put him/her to sleep on time all the time, trust your baby's ability to adapt and DO NOT reinforce any negative sleep behaviors are the messages you get. For the parent who puts his/her priorities first, read this: the Doc says YOU need to adjust YOUR life to the baby's sleep rhythm. YOU need to put the baby to sleep on time all the time and stick with it. YOU need to stop reinforcing the bad time standoffs. YOU need to make things SIMPLER. Just put that baby to bed often. If you can't you are your child's worst enemy because you can't set priorities, you are encouraging many indirectly related behavioral problems and stunting his IQ. Sleep is prerequesite for a smart, bubbly child.
Why is the book 200+ pages? Because Dr. Weissbluth has to break down the competing messages and through our stubborness. We parents hear only what we want to hear, rationalize away our own responsibility and ignore simple clear messages from medical science. Dr. Weissbluth's book is the bullhorn and loudspeaker through the fog of mini-articles in your newspaper and home magazines. "Put that baby to bed and let that baby learn how to put him/herself to sleep! NOW!" he bellows in a soft, scientific and articulate way. The book's structure of winding three themes running together is not the best. But the three themes work together: 1. research backing up the "put her to bed and walk away" method, 2. blowing out some of the common nonsense floating about and 3. touchy feely anecdotal stories proving he has seen it all and the prescpription is the same: put that baby to sleep now trust your baby's ability to cope. STOP encouraging bad behavior using non-emotional and non-confrontative responses. For those who don't believe numbers, the anecdotal stories from patients who become converts strike home. Each stories is backed by research to strike home with his hammer: you are the parent, you are responsible to make sure the baby way too much sleep ON TIME every time. Excuses like Dads working late, family visitors and other "important" events are shot dead with his silver bullet: research showing your baby can and will sleep if YOU can just get your behavior in order. Goodnight, sleep tight.
Book Review: It Worked For Us!
Summary: 5 Stars
I told myself that I would never let my baby "cry-it-out". Well, at 7 months, my baby was taking about two 30-minute naps during the day and he woke up SCREAMING after each one. He also woke up 3-4 times during the night. I could tell my little guy wasn't getting enough sleep but I didn't know how to help him. At first, I bought Elizabeth Pantley's book, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and tried that for a few weeks, but we were not seeing results as quickly as we'd hoped (she does state in her book that it could take months to see significant results). So, I bought Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child with the thought that I would never really try it, that I was just going to see what he had to say. But, after reading it, it made so much sense, so I decided to give it a try. THE RESULTS:
My baby takes 2 REGULAR naps per day, for over 1 hour each, and he wakes up happy!
He goes to bed at around 6:30-7pm each night and sleeps until about 5am when I nurse him and then he goes back to sleep until about 7am.
THE PROCESS:
It was not easy to get to this point, but after 1 month of trying Dr. Weissbluth's method, my baby is finally getting the sleep he needs. Since my baby was 7 months old when we tried Dr. Weissbluth's method, he did have a difficult time for about one week in learning how to fall back asleep when he would wake up. It was very hard to listen to him cry, and I must admit that the first day I abandoned the new "regime" and couldn't help but comfort my little one. It did get better for us after about one week, although in the book Dr. Weissbluth has several examples of parents saying that their baby only took 2 or 3 nights of crying to get into the new routine, it was more difficult with us. I did read that if you follow this book from the beginning with your baby (you do NOT let your baby "cry-it-out" before 4 months, you just establish a sleeping routine) then your baby is already used to it, so learning to sleep and fall back asleep on their own is a lot easier. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is expecting, has a newborn, or is just frustrated with how little sleep their child is getting -- no matter their age.
As a side note, the book is somewhat poorly organized, so when you read it, do not skip over sections that may not apply to your child, i.e. "Birth to Four Months" if your child is not in that stage or has already passed it go ahead and read through the whole thing because in later chapters he keeps referring back to those ideas and you will spend forever hunting for what he is talking about!
Book Review: Try it and see how your child responds!
Summary: 5 Stars
When my first child was 5.5 months, I happened upon this book. It is about learning to be an observant parent who understands your child's sleep clues. Yes, every child is different, but we are all human and this book focuses on the very natural human need for sleep and explains natural human sleep cycles (by age group) so it's easier to understand WHEN your child probably will want/need to nap or go down for the nightThis book explains and teaches in a non-dogmatic manner. It suggests questions to ask yourself that are insightful and thought-provoking. It stresses helping your children learn the skill of falling asleep by themselves, which is sometimes tough, but just as important as teaching them to eat by themselves. I learned that sleep is more biological than logical and that some sleep is more restful and restorative than other sleep.
The two most important lessons I learned: 1) the earlier a child goes to bed at night, the longer she sleeps through the night, and 2) it is possible to put a child down awake and have her not cry before falling asleep on her own. I didn't believe any of this until I tried it! This book helped me understand that by the time my daughter "seemed tired", I had missed her cues, she was overtired, and overtired children have trouble getting to sleep.
I am not a fan of "cry it out" but I did learn (and could hear) that there's a difference btw "I'm in pain/hurting" crying and "I'm tired" crying. Just as you wouldn't mind if your child cried because you wouldn't let him stick his finger in an electrical socket, I didn't mind when my tired child cried because she didn't want to sleep. A few minutes into her crying (and I mean less than 10 or 15 minutes) she fell fast asleep. Nowadays, she recognizes our "it's time to go to sleep routine" (bathing, reading, rocking) and generally cries less than 2 minutes, if at all.
This book helped me remember that our kids will cry over many things in their lives . . . but if we parents are doing what's best for our child, some things are worth letting them cry over for a short period of time. Luckily, the crying ends within a day or two, because once you start to recognize the signals of "tired", you can beat the overtired state and put your child to sleep without any crying. It works!!!
My daughter's personality blossomed when she got two consistent, restful, undisturbed naps a day and started sleeping 10 hours at night. She's happy, smiling and alert. That makes Mom and Dad happy too. There are wonderful lessons to be found in this book . . . happy reading (and sleeping)!!