Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
by Marc Weissbluth
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Book Reviews of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Book Review: This man actually knows what he is talking about!
Summary: 5 Stars
I have never written a book review before, but couldn't help myself with this one. THIS IS A SUPERIOR BOOK AND I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! I am a mother of 2 and have my BSN, specializing in pediatric nursing. I wanted to write a review as a rebuttal to a couple of the negative reviews people wrote. Weissbluth does NOT suggest that letting your child cry it out is the ONLY way (he presents is as ONE way, and happens to be the way he thinks is most effective. He also gives TWO other options). Weissbluth also does NOT suggest that all babies should be put to bed at 6:00 PM, or that sleep is more important than time with their parents, or that you can't ever run an errand or go on vacation! Forgive me, but people need to read more carefully if they are going to write a book review!!!!
Weissbluth DOES believe, through his EXTENSIVE, COMPREHENSIVE sleep research, that an earlier bedtime is better for infants and toddlers. However, this could mean different things for different families. He talks over and over again about a 7:00 or 8:00 bedtime being a good thing, if your child is well-rested when he or she wakes up in the morning! He merely suggests super early bedtimes (5:30 to 6:30 pm) for CERTAIN babies who are having specific sleep problems, as a way to remedy that! So his comments about parents who work are merely to encourage parents of those particular children to organize work schedules around what is best for your child's rest. He is very clear that most children will NOT need a bedtime that early!
Weissbluth is also very clear that YOU CAN HAVE A LIFE AND STILL HAVE A WELL-RESTED CHILD! He just makes the point (which is a very good one), that you can't be running errands all over the place all day long and expect your child to sleep on the go...and still be well-rested! He also merely WARNS that vacations can temporarily disrupt a child's schedule. He does not say it is bad to go on vacations!!!!
This book is a God-send because the author is one of the most knowledgable experts on sleep that there is! And the thing I love about him is he takes into account that different children have different temperments and personalities, so the exact same strategy won't work for every child. It has to individualized a little bit, and he gives you ways to do that!
Sorry to go on and on, but it really just struck a nerve with me to read all of these one-star, horrible reviews that are raking this book and its author over the coals for things it/he never even says! Read more carefully!
Book Review: Very effective "sleep training" manual!
Summary: 5 Stars
We love this book. It came highly recommended by some friends before we had our first baby. We liked it first because it was written by a doctor who is a pediatric sleep specialist. The first few chapters were crucial to read because they gave us the background behind the importance of this sleep training. If we had skipped that part, we probably wouldn't have had the motivation to change our own schedules drastically to allow the baby his napping and sleep times. After the background information, Dr. Weissbluth divides the rest of the book up into chapters according to your child's age (with some special additional chapters at the end). Since we had the book from the time of pregnancy, we started the sleep training as indicated when our baby was between 6 and 8 weeks old. We liked it also because Dr. Weissbluth did not expect us to impose a eat/sleep schedule on a newborn that was strictly clock-based. Instead, he let us be more flexible while getting to know our newborn and plan for the training to begin a few weeks out. At the beginning of the "training," we had to constantly refer back to the chapters (I read over the relevant chapter probably two or three times a week), sometimes let our baby cry for about 30-45 minutes (hard at first but absolutely no regrets after seeing the results after just a few days), and cutting out things from our evening schedule temporarily (this is mandatory). I know there is a lot of controversy about the crying part, but take heart:
1. If you are following the directions of this book and looking for your child's natural sleep signs, then the crying will not last very long, nor will you have to go through this for very many days.
2. Dr. Weissbluth acknowledges that at nap times, an extremely long crying period may not be the best way to get your child to sleep. The book allows for you to soothe your child at times, which are specified and clearly laid out.
3. The results of this method are tremendous. Our first child is now six years old. He is well-rested from his night sleep and naps at least once a week, which we are thrilled with because it helps him with behavior, concentration, and academics.
This book is truly about sleep-training, not just scheduling a child to nap when you want him to. It teaches babies to soothe themselves to sleep, so that you are not tied down to a certain place, person, rocking chair, etc. Your baby can go to sleep without your having to cautiously tiptoe out of the room ... such freedom!!
Book Review: Helpful sleep info, though a little too rigid &extreme
Summary: 3 Stars
POSITIVES:Dr. Weissbluth convincingly shows that a parent should promote good, healthy sleep habits. He is very motivational to continue your efforts as a parent and to encourage your child to sleep well and to focus on sleep as a fundamental need for the baby.
The book is an interesting read for any parent learning about how babies sleep. Dr. Weissbluth discusses how babies' sleep patterns change as they grow and mature and divides his book up into different chapters depending on the age group of the baby/child. He also spends a chapter discussing colicky and post-colicky babies.
Dr. Weissbluth outlines when most babies wake up for the day, when they take their naps, and when they should go to bed for the night. Dr. Weissbluth's timetable for babies over 4 months can be helpful to assist parents in structuring baby's activities, naps, and bedtime. He also has some good suggestions as to when to start baby's nap and bedtime wind down time and when to arose baby from sleep in order to help establish a good sleeping pattern.
NEGATIVES:
Dr. Weissbluth advocates the cry-it-out method, even though he contradicts himself by saying that he doesn't. A variety of testimonials from parents appear in the book proclaiming that their baby fell asleep after 10 minutes of crying, or 20 minutes, or 45 minutes. He even goes as far to imply that if your baby cries for longer than an hour that you haven't followed his program exactly.
I personally was offended by his overconfident assumption, as I followed his program exactly for one day and my child cried for one hour at both her morning and afternoon nap time without falling asleep at all! My normally happy child was a grouch, she bit me several times when I nursed her during the day, and she vomited a substantial amount twice. I was adversely affected by the method as well, because I began to feel very angry and upset at my baby for not falling asleep like she was supposed to (as I am already very sleep deprived to begin with). The experience was not beneficial to her mood, my mood, or our baby-mommy relationship.
I feel that Dr. Weissbluth's method was much too rigid and extreme for my parenting style. Any research that he has done pertaining to crying to go to sleep simply does not work for my baby (or me) and should be taken with a grain of salt. However, I do feel that much of the information and tips in his book about timing and sleep routines are helpful when you are trying to set up a nap and bedtime sleep routine.
Book Review: Horrifying!
Summary: 1 Stars
I can't believe that this book is being paired with "The No Cry Sleep Solution"! They are on opposite ends of the spectrum as far as philosophies go.
I was first impressed by Weisbluth's use of charts and research etc. and I agreed with his premise that babies need sleep. It is our responsibility as parents to make sure that babies get the sleep that they need even when they want to stay up and play until they're ready to drop.
My approval for what he was saying changed dramatically when one of the success stories he used was of a family that let their son cry for an hour and a half. They had to close two doors between them and the nursery and sit in another part of the house to endure the screaming. When their son did fall asleep, they found that he'd fallen asleep standing up hanging over the rail of the crib. He cried for an hour the next night, once again falling asleep hanging over the rail. After a week their son fell asleep with "minimal" crying and only backslides occasionally.
This is a success story?
That is horrifying!!
My concern is that these "sleep experts" are measuring success as a child going to sleep without a lot of crying and then sleeping through the night. I don't think that they're taking the whole child into consideration. What about the child who is then clingy and fussy the whole next day after 90 minutes of crying the night before? What about the child who wakes up a few times during the night - do you let them cry for another 90 minutes? What about those of us who've tried the "cry it out" method and then have a child who is terrified of the nursery at night because they know what's coming?
If all you care about is throwing your kid in a crib at 8:00 so you don't have to deal with them until the next morning, then it seems as if giving them a sleeping pill would be more humane. Hey, parenting isn't a part-time job! It will involve nights and weekends.
I do recommend Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution", however. She acknowledges that different kids have different personalities and that not all children require the same amount of sleep. She also has suggestions for parents who want to keep their babies in bed with them (Attachment Parenting) but don't want 15 wake-ups during the night. Her book was far more humane and took into consideration the fact that what happens at night has repurcussions for the next day as well. She doesn't offer a quick-fix but encourages patience and love and compassion.
Book Review: Useful to some degree
Summary: 3 Stars
I generally like to start my reviews by saying what I liked about the book I read. In my opinion, the best and most important point made by this book is that sleep is vital for babies. Parents should be on the lookout for signs their child might be suffering from lack of it, and should also make sure their lifestyles do not interfere with their child's healthy sleep. I also appreciated the author's input about sleep problems and solutions for older children.I disagreed most with the idea that it is generally a good idea to allow children to cry as long as it takes to get them to sleep at night. Will this method do long term psychological damage? The author says no, and I agree that is probably correct. Okay, so the child won't be delinquent as a teenager, or hate you as an adult. But as a parent, my question is which method is easiest on the child in the short term, as well as being effective in the long term? Frankly, I don't want my child to be unnecessarily miserable, even if it's only for a few nights. Further, I simply couldn't listen to screaming cries for any length of time without intervention.
For the parent interested in sleep "training", I think Dr. Richard Ferber offers a better method. Even Dr. Weissbluth admits Ferber's method's work- he simply thinks they may be too difficult for some parents to apply. Well, I think a little more difficulty may be worth while if the child has an easier time.
Oddly, Dr. Weissbluth claims to have no problems with the "family bed". However, I find his family bed advice confusing, and most of the tips he offers throughout the book seem to be incompatible with the practice. If anybody is practicing the family bed, they should definitely go with Dr. William Sears, whose advice is much more compatible with that arrangement. Dr. Sears is also a good choice for those who find Dr. Ferber too harsh and want the gentlest methods possible.
I tend to disagree with the view of some "attachment parents" that babies always develop the sleep habits that are best for them. There are babies who simply need parental leadership here, and there are also babies whose habits are disruptive to the family. So if parents think their baby has a problem, they should read several books about the topic, and adapt the different views to their personal situation and temperment of their individual child. I think that will lead to a better solution than reading just one book and treating it as a bible.