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I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
Book Summary InformationAuthor: Stephen Colbert Edition: Hardcover Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published) Published: 2007-10-09 ISBN: 0446580503 Number of pages: 240 Publisher: Grand Central Publishing Product features: - Entertainers, Humor, Comedy
Book Reviews of I Am America (And So Can You!)Book Review: Hi! My name's Stephen! Libs believe I'm funny as hell, but, then again, they also believe the US attacked ITSELF on 911!!!!!!!!! Summary: 1 Stars
Stephen Colbert isn't a comedian so much as he specializes in the asinine and juvenile "art" of schtick!!!! His talentless and utterly unfunny take on schtick is based on the oldest, most worn-out concept of all: mock conservatives by pretending to be one of them. So, his schtick is actually supposed to be a parody of a conservative (because as a liberal, Colbert cannot intellectually take on conservatives [he's too inept], so he relies on childish ridicule), but Colbert's misuse of tact, wit and subtlety make him a total failure, whether as author or TV host.
I read "I am America and so can You" because I stupidly gave the benefit of the doubt to Colbert and his now-exposed sycophant fans (read: cheerleaders who will laugh at anything unfunny as long as they somehow think it denigrates conservatives) as arbiters on what constitutes something legitimately funny. However, after "reading" (you can't really read Colbert's book; owing to the low intellect of his lib-fans, Colbert's actually written a "book" infested with primer language, HUGE font and lots of pictures) this tome, I now 100% understand what lowness liberals call "humor." Judging from Colbert's take on it, liberals find puerile profanity; coarse, sexual suggestiveness; idiotic and wayward tangents; and a childish mentality "funny!!!!"
The problem with Colbert isn't that he cowardly mocks conservatives by pretending to be a stereotype of one--that would actually require brains, an understanding of the culture and politics, or wit, all things Colbert falls waaaay short of. No, my resentment at Colbert and his radical fans of questionable taste is based on his failure to successfully pull off a caricature of a conservative! Lampooning, if done correctly, should be funny even if it does the taboo, which is to mock a conservative. However, Colbert's plain awful at his struggling attempts at parody, and this merely reinforces liberals' disrepute as people who are sheeple and subserviently go along with something if all their lib friends tell them to (kind of like all the brainwashed liberals who misguidedly back Obama without being able to tell of ANY accomplishment of his! BTW, how's that Reverend Jeremiah Wright thang coming along, libs, HAHAHAHA!)
So, what I'll do is cite a few, choice examples from Colbert's book, witheringly skewer the unfunny failures in them, and then educate liberals on what would TRULY make the failed parody funny! Are you ready? Then, let's go!
In the sophomoric section on marriage, Colbert, still pretending to be ultra-conservative, asserts that to stop the rising divorce rate in the US, couples should just fake happiness, even if they're trapped in a bad marriage, so they don't ruin marriage for their kids! If Colbert wanted to really make libs laugh and mock conservatives with parody, he would've asserted that American women not be allowed to demand divorces (kind of like in Islamic countries!) and instead become the property of their husbands! This would've been the far funnier parody since anti-marriage libs already think that conservatives and traditionalists who still respect the sacrament of marriage are sexists who want to enslave women, anyway!!!! Shame on failure-Colbert for not being insolent enough in his parody of conservatives, that w*ss.
In the infantile section on religion, Colbert parodies conservatives by asserting that the US is a Judeo-Christian nation and such, that there's no separation of church and state expressly written in the Constitution (absolutely true), etc.. Yet Colbert's miscalculating gags include pitiful punchlines involving assertions that thanks to religion, Americans can picket their kids' elementary schools if they find out any teacher there is g*y. Sheeple libs will gullibly find this funny, but this wasn't a good enough mockery of conservatives because Colbert is a w*ss. If he really wanted to mock conservatives for their religiosity, he would've done so in a way corresponding with what the majority of bigoted libs think about conservatives and religion. While still in ultra-conservative character, Colbert should've asserted that thanks to (Christian) religion, alternative-lifestyle g*ys are persecuted and cannot practice their children-corrupting "value-system" like in Old Europe. He should've also given thanks that the dear, innocent, Muslim demographic in the US is constantly in fear of being racially profiled because the Christians are simply carrying on their rightful Crusade of self-defense from their forefathers of the Middle Ages. That would've easily been funnier than Colbert's lameas* material because those insinuations would've been far more extreme than the schtick in his chapter.
Despite Colbert's flagrantly unmistakable derision of religion (read: Christian Americans), he's still too cowardly to mock all religions equally. In fact, proving what an unpardonable moral coward he is, Colbert actually gives Islam A PASS in the religion chapter despite the fact that making fun of Islam instead of Christianity would've yielded much, much better material! See, he could've easily made wisecracks about Islam and suicide bombings, beheadings, Sharia law, the stoning of g*ys, or the enslavement of women in Islamic marriages! Of course, being the predictably well-behaved lib he is, Colbert was SCARED of having a fatwa issued against him, so he shrewdly stayed away from ridiculing Islam, that wimp!
All right, now that I've incontrovertibly established why Colbert is just not funny under ANY circumstances and that libs simply have low-minded taste in humor, I'll subtly switch my righteous criticism to the mental maturity that's lacking in Colbert's material. In notorious example, Colbert--and by association all his sheeple liberal fans--actually gets immaturely bent kicks from talking about dog t*sticles at great length!!!! That's right: in one section on animals, DOG T*STICLES are the "intelligent punchline" of his shortcoming comedy! WTF???? Isn't Colbert well over 40 years old?! Despite his middle-age status, Colbert crookedly sees it as funny to include a whole page of close-up pictures of DOG T*STICLES (page 43 for all you p*rv-and-immature libs!) featuring the sacks of Irish setters, Dobermans, Golden Retrievers, English Setters, Schnauzers and Weimaraners!!!! Blatantly and without doubt, here, Colbert is merely expressing his unrequited desire for Colbert-on-dog sex, what with all his scary obsession with close-up pictures of DOG T*STICLES. I mean, that's just GOT to be the explanation because that section failed utterly at humor.
In closing, Colbert is an immature jackas* who childishly indulges in lowbrow humor that even high-school kids and college sophomores have grown waaaay too old for. The unsettling fact that mostly liberals find him to be a "comic genius" is further proof of how correct Michael Savage is for time and again stating that liberalism IS a mental disorder. The only reason for this "book"--because it certainly isn't the failed comedy attempts!--is for Colbert to promote his speech at the WH Correspondents' Dinner of 06 at the end...which wasn't funny either.
Summary of I Am America (And So Can You!)Congratulations--just by looking at this webpage, you became 25% more patriotic.
From Stephen Colbert, the host of television's highest-rated punditry show The Colbert Report, comes the book to fill the other 23¿ hours of your day. I Am America (And So Can You!) contains all of the opinions that Stephen doesn't have time to shoehorn into his nightly broadcast.
Dictated directly into a microcassette recorder over a three-day weekend, this book contains Stephen's most deeply held knee-jerk beliefs on The American Family, Race, Religion, Sex, Sports, and many more topics, conveniently arranged in chapter form.
Always controversial and outspoken, Stephen addresses why Hollywood is destroying America by inches, why evolution is a fraud, and why the elderly should be harnessed to millstones.
You may not agree with everything Stephen says, but at the very least, you'll understand that your differing opinion is wrong.
I Am America (And So Can You!) showcases Stephen Colbert at his most eloquent and impassioned. He is an unrelenting fighter for the soul of America, and in this book he fights the good fight for the traditional values that have served this country so well for so long.
Please buy this book before you leave the store
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