If Only He Knew: What No Woman Can Resist
by Gary Smalley, Norma Smalley

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Book Reviews of If Only He Knew: What No Woman Can Resist

Book Review: Reader Beware
Summary: 1 Stars

In Smalley's seminars, he credits his program with an approval from a leading feminist. In other words, the feminist movement concurs with Smalley on how men should behave. Understand now that it is the feminists who want the men to move over and let them lead. If you behave the way a feminist wants you to behave, then she will be able to submit to you. This appears to be a philosophy of leading where the woman wants to be lead so that she can follow you. Is this the emasculation of Biblical headship? There are many different ways in which a wife can manipulate and dominate her husband without being a dictatorial tyrant. These companion volumes give us some insight into those techniques. I have even had a divorced, single mom tell me that the books were manipulative.

Christ is the greatest example of love and is the head of the church as a picture of the husband being the head of the wife. HE says: "If you (Christians, the church, His bride) love me you will keep my commandments." The church is in the process of being conformed to Christ by seeking out and doing His will. Smalley has the husband listing to the desires and expectations of the wife and complying with "her" will. He labels them as "her needs" but she is the one determining what they are. The needs of the church were met when Christ subjected Himself to the will of His Head. God and Christ may very well be doing something through and with the husband that the wife knows nothing about, like Job. Smalleys books basicly advise to ignore that possibility. Turn your hearts aways from the long term, unknown objectives (Abraham, Job) and turn to the more immediate demands of the woman so that she may be less likely to declare separation for unreasonable behavior. I searched both books in vain to find a reference to 1 Peter 3:1 that clearly says that a wife is to be subject to her husband "..even if he is disobedient to the word." Eve suggested to Adam what her preferred course of action would be and Adam listened to her. Sarah suggested to Abraham that they should take certain steps to fulfill God's promise about a son, and then got angry with him because of the consequences of his decision. Mrs Job advised him, but her words were the very words of Satan. Isn't Job glad he rather bluntly refused her advice. Even David, who admired the wise and intelligent Abigail, never appears to be seeking her wise counsel after the wedding. Smalley has, somehow, figured that if you take two imperfect people affected by sin, that only one of them seems to come to all the wrong conclusions. He puts conditions on the husband in order to obtain the submission of the wife that I cannot find a Biblical basis for.

There may be some good advice for the alchoholic husband who comes home after an adulterous night and abuses and berates his wife. But for the average couple, the husband is to love his wife even if she is not all he wanted her to be because he chose to do so, and the wife is to see to it that she reverence (fear, stand in awe of) her husband (Eph 5:33) even though he is not all she wants him to be. If she submits/adapts to her husband, as Scripture commands her, rather than seeking another masculine image to which she is willing to submit, she is more likley to find herself one with him rather than at odds with him. She is also less likely to encounter her "prefered image" in the form another man.

Summary of If Only He Knew: What No Woman Can Resist

Christian Living Books

• Subjects > Christian Books & Bibles > Christian Living
• Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Love & Romance
• Marriage
• Religion & Spirituality