Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide
by Ph.D. Harville Hendrix
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Book Summary Information
Author: Ph.D. Harville HendrixEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 1993-02-01
ISBN: 0671734202
Number of pages: 352
Publisher: Atria Books
Accessories:
- Receiving Love Workbook: A Unique Twelve-Week Course for Couples and Singles
- The Personal Companion : Meditations and Exercises for Keeping the Love you Find
- Giving The Love That Heals
Book Reviews of Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide
Book Review: Selected Quotes from the Book...
Summary: 5 Stars
Keeping the Love You Find A Guide for Singles
Harville Hendrix Ph.D.
Selected Quotes from a Great Book:
"I believe in the transforming power of love."
"Love is hard -life is hard."
"Everything that lives, lives not alone nor for itself."
William Blake
"They reject prospective partners, finding them defective in one way or another,
not realizing that the fault is in themselves, the rejectors."
"... what is going on in mate selection is not love, but need.
Love, if it appears at all, appears in marriage, as a result of our commitment to our partner."
"The ingredients necessary for full growth and healing
-attention, concentration, security, time, deepest intimacy and full mirroring of ourselves through our partner
--are possible only in marriage."
"Marriage is a spiritual path."
"A conscious relationship is not your goal. Not at all; it is the path."
"If you cannot remember your childhood, you probably had a childhood you cannot bear to remember."
"The idea of the disposability of the troubled partner is dangerous and destructive.
Relationship problems are a dynamic between two people:
until you are perfect, there is no perfect partner."
When we fall in love we feel whole again, for in our beloved we annex the qualities dormant and missing in us."
"...the people you are drawn to and admire possess qualities that you long for or that were dismissed and disdained in your home."
"..finding in each other what is lacking in themselves."
"Since we can't live with a bad image of ourselves, we project our inadmissible negative traits onto our partner."
"The painful wounds of our early years.. ...are the "dowry" we bring to our adult relationships.
...those partnerships have not delivered the love and healing we so trustingly sought; rather, they have echoed the pain of the past."
"But love is blind, and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that they themselves commit."
William Shakespeare
"A conscious relationship... is in fact the most effective path to psychological and spiritual wholeness."
"Every marriage moves inexorably from romantic illusion to the disillusionment that heralds the onset of the power struggle."
"Romance is just the launching pad."
"No one works on a relationship when the endorphins are rushing."
"When romantic love dies it clears the way for real love."
"...we ourselves possess the negative traits we criticize in our partners."
"Blame and criticism are characteristic of the power struggle stage in a relationship.
What we are seeing is the flip side of the coin of romance: same agenda, opposite tactics."
"You must be willing to grow and change and commit yourself first and foremost to the healing of your partner.
Being the right partner is more important to a good relationship than picking the right partner."
"Our partners are mirrors in which we see reflected those parts of ourselves that we disown."
"In a conscious relationship there are no exits."
"In a conscious relationship there is no criticism."
"This is a revolutionary view of marriage:
that rather than leaving it to find yourself, you find yourself through it.
Marriage itself is in essence therapy, and your partner's needs chart your path to psychological and spiritual wholeness."
"It is important to remember that your habituated patterns are not you. They are your defenses."
"Criticism is the most common reaction to frustration in a relationship,
and it is the most destructive, a perverse and counterproductive attempt to get one's needs met..."
"Criticism is the frozen cry of childhood, now put into language; it doesn't work, but our hardwired old brain lamely persists."
"When you change your behavior in response to other's requests, you begin to change hidden aspects of your character."
"Yet there be some that by due steps aspire
to lay their just hands on that golden key
that opens the palace of eternity."
John Milton
Summary of Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide
Your dream of finding a partner is a natural and normal human instinct and your dream is perfectly achievable. Whatever your history, whatever your heartbreak, as a single person you are in an ideal position to learn what you need to know what what you can do to greatly improve your chances for finding, and keeping, love.With Keeping the Love You Find, renowned relationship therapist and bestselling author Harville Hendrix will help you to:
- IDENTIFY your Imago -- the fantasy partner that your unconscious mind, which has a hidden agenda of its own, has chosen for you
- BREAK FREE from those patterns in your parents' marriage that you have unknowingly accepted as your relationship model
- CREATE hope in place of despair, companionship instead of loneliness
- DEVELOP communication skills to turn conflict into contact -- and togetherness
- TRANSFORM every past relationship into a source of positive growth
- DISCOVER the rewards of real love -- and the little things that make it last
...and more. Filled with wisdom and compassion, Keeping the Love You Find will help get your next relationship off to the best start and keep your love strong for a lifetime.
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