Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters
by Ph.d., Phillip C. Mcgraw
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Book Summary Information
Author: Ph.d., Phillip C. McgrawEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Published)
Format: Bargain Price
Published: 2000-01-19
ISBN: N/A
Number of pages: 320
Publisher: Hyperion
Book Reviews of Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters
Book Review: Chicken soup for the narcissist
Summary: 1 Stars
This is a self-help book that takes its cues from the Personality Ethic school of thought. (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - a really good book! - if you don't know what I'm referring to).
Life is a zero-sum game. "If you are losing, somebody else is winning", so you must bully, kiss ass or whatever is necessary to get your way ("If [...] you learn that your egomaniacal boss would rather tell stories about his exploits as a high school football hero than eat when he's hungry, and further, that he loves those who are a good audience, you know at least one way to gain favor", p. 95).
According to Dr. Phil, after reading his book you'll be one of the few who "gets it" (Law no.1, "You either get it, or you don't"). And because you "get it", and nobody else does, you know what's best for you and everybody else, so it's OK to manipulate others to get what you want, since you'll be acting in everybody's best interest ("If that sounds like you would be gaining knowledge with which to manipulate and control others you're right", p. 95; "Manipulation is not, in and of itself a bad thing", p. 52).
But if "there's no reality, only perception", (Law no.6) how can you know what's best for someone else? Worse yet, how can you be sure that you "get it", i.e. know what's best for you?
If you take this drivel seriously, will you end up becoming a "People-eater" (p. 75)?
"People-eaters have one elegantly simple goal: to control everyone and everything. They intend to manage your life, their lives, and anything and everything that you have the misfortune of sharing with them. They dominate al of their interactions. People-eaters will tell you what to think and how you feel. If you or anyone else becomes a casualty, that's a minor inconvenience; the People-Eater will just get someone else. In this respect, People-eaters have an insatiable appetite. Because they engage the world in this fashion, People-eaters' relationships are entirely, painfully one-sided. Other people's responses to them are characterized by rebellion, rejection, or resentful passivity. Ultimately, the People-eater's experience of life is one of frustration and loneliness".
Of course not, because only OTHER PEOPLE (bosses, spouses, etc) are egomaniacs and People-eaters, you're only "doing what works" (Law no. 3) and get a free pass.
Inane, vacuous, contradictory and poorly written, this is only par for the course in the self-help genre. I'm sorry Dr. Phil, but that's "how the cow ate the cabbage" (p. 8).
Summary of Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters
Some people spend their lives reacting to what life hands them, while others craft life to fit their goals. Author Phillip C. McGraw, who is a psychologist but describes himself as a strategist, is determined to make sure that his readers are the creators of their lives, not created by their lives. By accepting that you are personally accountable for every element of your life, McGraw says, you can erase the negative "epidemic behaviors" (found in all of American society: denial, false assumptions, inertia, deceptive masking) in your life and reach your goals.Written in a tough-love, sometimes cantankerous tone, this self-help book is not for those looking to explore their inner child or visualize away negative energy. No, this is pull-yourself-up-by-the- bootstraps advice from someone who's done just that. McGraw opens with a scene describing how he helped Oprah Winfrey survive--and win--the 1998 "Mad Cow" lawsuit in Texas, when she was having difficulty coping with the reality of what was happening to her. He helped her face the facts about the lawsuit, after which she was better able to participate in crafting a strategy to win it.McGraw first forces you to take a good hard look at who you are by dissecting your personality. It may be painful to realize that you fall into the "Porcupine" or "Perfecto" or any of the other personality types McGraw delineates, but here it's true that there's no gain without pain, because (Life Law No. 4) "You Can't Change What You Don't Acknowledge." He then describes in depth all 10 "Life Laws"--the rules by which the world plays--that he learned the hard way. Laws such as "You Either Get It, or You Don't," "Life Is Managed; It Is Not Cured," and "You Have to Name It to Claim It" make up the bulk of the book and McGraw's realist philosophy.If you learn and abide by the Life Laws and go on to create a Life Strategy, McGraw claims you will not only know yourself better and eliminate negative behaviors, you will also know how to reach any goal you set for yourself. --Stefanie DurbinAuthor and reader Phillip McGraw is at the forefront of a group of self-help gurus rethinking Americans' decade-plus-long celebration of victimhood. Calling himself a realist, he outlines 10 ways to take responsibility for and change your life. His reading mirrors the style of the weekend motivational seminars he conducts, designed to spark the listener into action. The lively pace crackles with such gems as, "My dad had taught me there are times in life where you just don't want to miss a good chance to shut up." While tape 1's side A bogs down during an account of Oprah Winfrey's beef-industry battles, side B dives quickly into the meat of the audiobook, featuring anecdotes from McGraw's own life and the 10 "Life Laws"--the rules by which McGraw believes the world plays. (Running time: 5 hours, 4 cassettes) --Kimberly Heinrichs
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