Losing Malcolm: A Motherâ??s Journey Through Grief

Losing Malcolm: A Motherâ??s Journey Through Grief
by Carol Henderson

Losing Malcolm: A Motherâ??s Journey Through Grief
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Book Summary Information

Author: Carol Henderson
Edition: Hardcover
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2001-03-01
ISBN: 1578063396
Number of pages: 245
Publisher: University Press of Mississippi
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Book Reviews of Losing Malcolm: A Motherâ??s Journey Through Grief

Book Review: Healing the Human Heart
Summary: 5 Stars

LOSING MALCOLM has as its subtitle, `A Mother's Journey Through Grief,' and that is what it is: a journey. Although this memoir deals with that most wrenching of catastrophe's, the death of a child, both in structure and in spirit it walks away from the event. By this I do not mean that the lost child is forgotten, far from it, but the story shows how healthy grieving can heal the human soul. Rather than leading up to and finishing with the death of six week old Malcolm, Henderson gives us his death up front, no punches pulled. But what comes after is what her book is all about. Although she honestly presents the shock and agony of her bereavement, she does not ask for sympathy or pity, but leads the reader step by step along the path she took back to normality and peace. Along that path she experienced mindless numbness, hysteria, frustration, resentment of other women with their children, fear of her own body, and rage at people who dismissed her loss, saying Malcolm was "only a baby," suggesting she replace him with another, as though babies are, like money, fungible. Even when she became pregnant for the second time, she felt that the new baby was "floating in a womb of tears." And yet she had the wisdom to embrace all these reactions as natural aspects of the grieving process. Gradually, we see her drawing the scattered pieces of herself together, helped by simple things like the companionship of dogs, the soothing power of poetry, the friendship of a group of older women who "had seen it all," and, at last, the healing ritual of entrusting Malcolm's ashes to the ocean. This is a brave and most affecting book which shows the workings of the human heart and how it deals with tragedy. It is a wise and simple guide to how to walk through grief and come safely out the other side.

Summary of Losing Malcolm: A Motherâ??s Journey Through Grief

One autumn morning Carol Henderson was a new mother recovering in the hospital and cradling a baby the doctor declared perfect. Within days of delivery, the new mother's peaceful world disintegrated into a nightmare of hospitals, tubes, EKG's, and operations. Her baby had a serious heart murmur.

Losing Malcolm is a frank and compelling narrative about a naive mother whose carefully constructed life unravels when her infant son dies. Before her son's devastating illness, the author had little experience with the realities of disease and death. After dealing with doctors and living around the clock in the hospital, Henderson, a hypochondriac who feared all things medical, becomes an informed and tenacious advocate for her child. After a free-fall plunge to the depths of her grief, she resurfaces with a newfound sense of self, a deep empathy for others, and a poignant awareness that enduring grief eventually takes its place in the broader tapestry of life.

Interweaving dreams and journal entries, this highly original memoir offers an evocative chronicle of emotional devastation and recovery. Henderson's account also reveals the differing ways in which she and her husband responded to their child's death and the ways in which loss transformed them. With wit and caring, she also deals with the taboos that exist in the way society-grandparents, friends, and neighbors-deal with death.

This spare, honest narrative resonates with universal themes. It will appeal to those who have suffered the loss of a loved one, those who know someone who is suffering, and those who are interested in reading about the tragedies and triumphs of others.

Praise for Losing Malcolm:

"A spell-binding, uplifting story that reads like a novel. I couldn't put it down."

- Lee Smith, author of Fair and Tender Ladies

"In this powerful and moving memoir, Carol Henderson grows from innocence, through harrowing grief, to the deep knowledge that darkness is crucial to a sense of the fullness of life."

- Annie Dillard, author of Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

"The lessons in Henderson's beautifully written book are manifold. Not only will the book help teach other parents how to survive, it will also educate health care professionals about how to be of meaningful service to those who are grieving. And there are powerful lessons here about the inadequacies of a health care system that, unfortunately, has still not changed enough."

- Phyllis Silverman, author of Never Too Young to Know: Death in Children's Lives

Carol Henderson has been a freelance journalist since 1985. Her work has been published in such periodicals as Utne Reader, The Oxford American, Woman's Day, The Chapel Hill News, Attache, and Kidsville. She lives in Chapel Hill, N.C.

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