Losing Your Pounds of Pain
by Doreen Virtue
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Book Reviews of Losing Your Pounds of Pain
Book Review: Reclaim Your Self-Esteem
Summary: 5 Stars
Walling off emotions can lead to headaches, ulcers, substance abuse, sleeping or eating disorders, or a host of body-destroying additions." ~Miriam Neff, Women and Their Emotions
Doreen Virtue has an interesting theory about weight loss. She says you have to lose your emotional pain before the weight will drop off. She could be right because food can be a comfort and if you are really in pain, there is nothing you can eat that will take away emotional distress. Well, maybe a lot of chocolate, which contains chemicals (PEA) to make you feel "in love." Page 191 can be enlightening for anyone who uses chocolate as a love fix.
This book is a result of Doreen's work in an all-female psychiatric hospital. Here, she met women struggling with deep emotional pain, stress, grief, depression, rage and dissatisfaction with their work, marriage and life in general. When she started to specialize in eating disorders, she did not realize the devastating effects of emotional neglect, verbal assaults and other abuses. Frankly, before reading this book, I didn't think about "emotional neglect" as being a cause of eating disorders. Now it makes sense to me.
I'm pretty sure most women could tell you why they are in pain and Doreen says that pain should not be blindly accepted. She says: "it is a signal that something is wrong and needs to be changed or healed." She even goes as far to say that "every extra pound you carry on your body equals a pound of emotional pain you're carrying in your heart."
Doreen also explains how serotonin has to be created every night and explains how this occurs and why melatonin is needed. If your REM sleep is interrupted, there can be groggy consequences. Apparently alcohol can interfere with REM sleep.
This entire book seems to be dealing with the issues of self-esteem and listening to Self-Esteem: Your Fundamental Power by Carolyn Myss and reading Fed Up by Wendy Oliver-Pyatt might also be helpful.
The author discusses dream analysis, exercise, meditation and discusses a variety of abusive situations that may need to be dealt with in order for your body to finally shed the pounds along with the pain.
Personally, I've found that working out on a regular basis has helped my self-esteem and yoga has been especially healing. Yoga seems to encourage you to eat healthy foods and by cutting out soda (replace with a packet of "lite" Emer'gen C, fruit juice concentrate and aloe juice for body healing) and sugary foods (look for chocolate by Hershey's with only 1 gram Carbs)your appetite will not be as aggressive.
By increasing protein and taking supplements your body is craving, you can work your way into a more balanced lifestyle. Give yourself time, this entire area of self-esteem can take years to heal and you might have to make some drastic lifestyle changes in order to see your life turn around. Finding one person who believes in you and supports you in your efforts, even if it is an author, will be immensely helpful. Doreen Virtue makes you aware of the link between abuse, stress and overeating. Then, she shows you how to heal your body and how to reclaim your self-esteem.
~The Rebecca Review
Book Review: The Case of the Disappearing Reviewer
Summary: 5 Stars
This isn't the first time a book by Doreen Virtue has helped me. She does manage to get close to problems and to help the readers get close to them too. She creates a safe, understanding path for getting to the heart of issues; readers are lead gently to the core of the problems of obesity.
Virtue acknowledges that many therapists connect sexual abuse with being overweight, but she doesn't stop there. She delves into other reasons which many times do revolve around sexuality, but aren't limited to it. No matter what the reason for overeating, the result is the same - a person ends up weighing more than they want to be.
She explores different cases histories from her experiences as a therapist. Readers can relate to the pain and gain cycle no matter what their issues might be and can use the information to move forward in breaking the cycle.
It helps to have a friend read the book with you. You need support to face some issues and hopefully you can support each other. Find someone at the gym or in your weight loss group. She has a great section on the psychology of "plateau." Hint: there's no such thing as "set point" except in your head.
I'll admit, I spent a week fighting the book after I started it. I put it aside and went back to my old habits. That's why having a partner helped, we talked through the tough parts and I could pick up the book and begin anew. It's a great book to work through weight issues with a life coach or therapist too. It's not a diet book. You have to change the way you think in order to change the way you eat and move.
This reviewer is disappearing slowly but surely.
Doreen Virtue's book is being held as an accomplice in this case.
Book Review: Disappointing and highly graphic and disturbing.
Summary: 1 Stars
I had high expectations for this book, thinking that I'd find some interesting facts and research on overall emotional overeating, not just related to sexual abuse. Sadly, this book is heavily laden with disturbing and very graphic accounts of sexual molestation, incest and rape. I had a hard time reading through the disgusting experiences related in the book.
I feel nothing but sorrow to think that a human being could be subjected to such horrible acts and hope that those can be healed and live lives full of love and joy.
While it provides some useful ideas, such as excercise,affirmations and visualization to release the negative emotions, the book also lacked a comprehensive plan to help victims of sexual abuse deal effectively with their pain. Directly from her book:
"To uncover the unresolved pain, you usually need to recall some painful experiences from childhood and/or adolesce and determine who the perpetrator was. If you blamed yourself for any abuse that you suffered, then you need to remind yourself that, as a young person, you weren't responsible for the abusive or neglectful actions of others -even if you somehow felt responsible at the time."
Ms. Virtue advises people to seek professional help and get involved in psycotherapy. She also suggests a low fat diet, which is a pretty archaic advise and proven not very effective.
Unless you have had a similar experience as those related in this book, I don't think it would beneficial to you.
Book Review: Very Healing for Females with Weight or Abuse Issues!
Summary: 5 Stars
This book is a great tool not only for women who desire to shed unwanted extra pounds, but for women who have experienced any form of abuse (especially sexual abuse during childhood) as well. So, even if you are not significantly overweight, you may find yourself interested in this book anyway. It provides many case studies outlining how and why women retain extra weight because of emotional issues, and gives many practical and spiritual ways to lose the weight. Simply reading the book can help you lose weight and heal from old abuse issues, whether you consciously remember the abuse or not. The information in this book will help you to better understand your relationship with food, your body, and yourself, and heal yourself in a practical, easy-does-it approach, with spiritual and metaphysical applications that take you beyond conventional therapy approaches. You may be quite surprised with some of the insights that come to you about yourself and your life as you work with this book. Highly recommended!
Book Review: Warm and helpful
Summary: 4 Stars
I'm giving this book four stars only because I am now at a point in my life where I have already become aware of many of the ideas presented in this warm and worthwhile book. It is plainly evident that the author cares about her readers, which must surely be a great comfort to those who are struggling and suffering.
While I'm not certain the objective of losing weight by facing one's demons can be universally realized here, the book does provide a useful service in that the reader can come away feeling uplifted and comforted. I know I was. Having suffered ongoing abuse as a child, I became a pleaser and a perfectionist in an effort to stop said abuse - to no avail. The author's statement that even had I been the perfect child, the behavior of the abuser would not have changed was of considerable comfort to me.
Whether the reader achieves the goal of losing weight or not, the book is still worth taking the time to read.