Love the One You're With
by Emily Giffin
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Book Summary Information
Author: Emily GiffinEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2009-04-21
ISBN: 0312348665
Number of pages: 368
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Product features:
- ISBN13: 9780312348663
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! BUY WITH CONFIDENCE, Over one million books sold! 98% Positive feedback. Compare our books, prices and service to the competition. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed
Book Reviews of Love the One You're With
Book Review: An Unbalanced Balancing Act
Summary: 3 Stars
WARNING - SPOILERS!
What can I say about this book? It has an interesting premise - the potential of getting a second chance with an old lover. Who doesn't fantasize about that? But, when this occurs during the blissful first year of marriage....well...then you know there's trouble in paradise.
In her initial relationship with Leo, Ellen is content to let Leo fill the emptiness of her life while she "will do anything" for him. After their break-up, Ellen's college roommate and BFF Margot is the one to tell her the ugly truth about her relationship with Leo - that it was unhealthy, that Ellen was "needy, spineless, insecure and one-dimensional."
It is after Ellen picks herself up and dusts herself off and leaves the heartbreak of Leo behind that she seems to grow up and develop a sense of self. She develops her interests in photography, marries Andy, is welcomed into the family fold, and is ready for happily ever after. And yet, all it takes is a chance encounter with Leo to entice Ellen to throw it all away.
Ellen's second go-round with Leo is punctuated with hieroglyphic language - brief symbols of suggestions and innuendo, often absent any real depth of communication. The relationship seems based more on the fantasy of what might have been than the reality of the present.
There were so many times in the passages of the book when I wanted to sit Ellen down and say, "Oh, Ellen, Ellen, Ellen. What do you think you are you doing?" And that was my basic problem with the book. Often Ellen's character seems undefined and under-written.
Part of Giffin's balancing act in developing her story is to create intrigue by deliberately drawing characters that are charming and sweet one moment, then boring and simple the next--as if we are seeing the different sides of their personality as the story unfolds. But Ellen is the most perplexing of all. She is a good girl from a blue-collar town, a smart college graduate, but in many ways, she is an unformed lump of clay. What seems to be missing in the story is Ellen's MOTIVATION to leave her marriage for an old flame. Her actions to forfeit her marriage without taking responsibility for fixing its problems make her look, at the very least, lacking in self-awareness, selfish, and clueless.
Often, Ellen blames others for decisions that affect her when she could have changed the outcome by speaking up for herself. She has choices, but she always seems to defer to others to make her decisions for her. In fact, there are several instances when her lover and/or husband ask Ellen, "What do you want?" (to drink, for dinner, and even where do you want to live, what do you want for the rest of your life), and her reply is, "I'll have what you're having" (or more specifically) she replies, "Whatever you want." This summarizes who she is. For 98% of the book, she is someone who doesn't seem to know who she is or what she wants.
I have now read three books by Emily Giffin and the one thing in which she excels is writing evocative page-turners with cliff-hanging chapters. But in "Love the One You're With," I think Giffin misses the mark with the main character of Ellen. I had hoped Giffin might explore Ellen's early childhood trauma - the death of her mother--intertwining with the similar sense of abandonment she experienced with the demise of her relationship with Leo. This might have explained her unfinished business with Leo and his allure the second time around.
Instead Ellen lives a mostly unexamined life, bobbing along like a toy boat on the current of life. Ellen's ah-hah moment comes at the urging pleas of her sister, but I got the sense that Ellen's choice would have been a very different one if she hadn't been interrupted at a critical moment.
The most disappointing part of the book is the leap between the last chapter and the epilogue. For me, the ending feels contrived. Suddenly Ellen seems philosophical and more mature, but I keep wondering where her newly found wisdom has come from. And I'm left wanting to give Ellen some friendly advice, "Ellen, before the real challenges of married life come along, you could benefit from some time with a therapist, girlfriend."
Summary of Love the One You're With
A novel for anyone who has ever wondered: how can I truly love the one I'm with, when I can't forget the one who got away?
Ellen and Andy Graham have the perfect marriage. There is no question how deep their devotion is, and how naturally they bring out the best in each other. But one fateful afternoon, Ellen runs into Leo. The one who brought out the worst in her. The one who left her heartbroken nearly a decade ago. The one she could never quite forget. When his reappearance ignites long-dormant emotions, Ellen begins to question whether the life she's living is the one she's meant to live.
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