Love the One You're With
by Emily Giffin
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Book Reviews of Love the One You're With
Book Review: A story about an unwholesome obsession with an ex.
Summary: 1 Stars
There's no way to sugarcoat this. Love the one you're with is one of the worst books I have ever read. Emily Giffin's book is advertised as a "captivating, straight-from-the-heart novel" and claims it is "about one woman at the crossroads of true love and real life". If this catchy and promising description is what is prompting you to buy this book, save your money because this book is neither captivating nor has anything to do with true love.
Allow me to tell you what this book is REALLY about. Love the one you're with is the story of Ellen Dempsey, a happily married woman who unexpectedly runs into an ex from eight years ago and then obsesses almost to the point of hysteria about how to proceed next. I don't think the sheer absurdity of the book really hit me until I read the backstory of how Ellen and Leo first met. I think it's important to let the readers know this aspect of the story before purchasing the book. If I had known the particulars of Ellen and Leo's storybook romance, I would have saved myself $16.00
Ellen met Leo at jury duty. As soon as she layed eyes on the him, the creepiness began. The guy is just sitting there minding his own buisness with a headset on, clearly he doesn't want to be bothered by any fellow bored potential jurors. Meanwhile, Ellen is salivating at the sight of him from across the room. Our heroine, who had come armed with tips how NOT to be chosen as a juror, is now determined that she must be chosen in order to have a few more days with the man candy who doesn't even know she exists. Obviously both get chosen. The case becomes complicated and the jurors are forced to stay in a hotel for security reasons. One night Ellen's hotel phone rings. It's Leo, a man who has hardly spoken a word to her asks if he can come to her room. Ellen agrees. The result? A booty call between two complete strangers.
Ellen describes her relationship with Leo as intense, but it seems it was more about sex for Leo and about clinging to someone for Ellen. After hooking up with Leo, Ellen ditches her friends, her hobbies, and her dreams. But we never hear what it is that Leo offered, besides what the author calls poetic sex, to make Ellen perch him up so high on the romantic pedestal that he remains on years after their breakup. One day, Ellen begins to notice that Leo doesn't return phone calls as quickly as he used to. He decides to spend more time with his friends, and he makes it clear that he is not up for something permanent. Ellen, who believes the mention of a breakup with snap Leo out of it, suggests they breakup. Leo says "okay" and it over.
Years after her breakup, Ellen hooks up with her best friend Margot's brother, Andy. Andy is a successful, stable, committed loving husband. Yet after bumping into Leo throws Ellen into a frenzy. Who to chose? the handsome loving man who made her his wife and gave her the family she never had, or the booty call that turned into a one-sided relationship which soon ended when Leo grew tired of the poetic sex? The crazy thing is that after a few phone calls with the ex, Ellen begins second guessing her entire marriage to Andy. She starts looking for faults where there are none. She picks fights to justify her unacceptable and adulterous behavior. This book was truly chick-lit at its worst.
I realize many people who read this book are Emily Giffin fans. I've read on here that some of her other books are much more promising, but after reading one of the worst novels I ever had the misfortune of getting my hands on, I cannot even begin to contemplate ever picking up another novel by this author ever again.
Book Review: Sweet Home Atlanta?
Summary: 3 Stars
The Good: Emily Giffin's writing style is engaging and leading, such that you're not likely to get bored even when the story drags or lulls a bit. While this book was nowhere near as good as Something Borrowed, it was still an intriguing read. As seems to be Emily's forte, the character development is excellent so you really come to know the characters. I still have a bit of sentimentality for her Something Borrowed characters, having read a book and half since then. I don't have the same feeling with these characters but while reading it, I was definitely engaged.
The Bad: I was just about halfway through this book before it really picked up steam. If it was any other author or I hadn't just come off a Something Borrowed high, I might have been tempted to move on after the first chapter or two, but I hung in there. And as I mentioned, Giffin's writing style is such that you'll never get totally bored. But make no mistake, this book is not the page turner that Something Borrowed is. Additionally, it is less clear in this book who you should be rooting for -- the passionate, ruddy "bad boy" type from the past or the current stable, chivalrous, loving "good boy" husband -- so that makes it a little more difficult to get drawn in and emotionally attached.
The Summary: The plot of this book reminded me quite a bit of a reverse Sweet Home Alabama, except with Atlanta as the southern locale. The main character, Ellen, grew up in Pittsburgh with her sister Suzanne and parents ... until her mother died at a young age. This is a subject that Giffin returns to often in the book, one that clearly has a lasting (and rightfully so) impact on Ellen. Ellen now lives in NYC, as does her BFF from college Margot. Ellen is a talented photographer with an ex-boyfriend who is a writer. This ex-boyfriend, Leo, is a classic tall, dark, mysterious stranger that she meets during jury duty. Ellen is very attracted to Leo but they scarcely exchange more than a glance until he unexpectedly calls her in her hotel room after the verdict, and the two become a couple from that night forward. Most of the story of their relationship is told in flashbacks. Their relationship was passionate -- what you might expect of two artists. But it ends when Leo begins to become indifferent and Ellen can't take that anymore. Their relationship is full of unfinished business, but it's years later when the book takes place. Enter Andy -- Margot's brother and now Ellen's husband. Margot and Andy's family is a picture-perfect southern family -- proper, charming, wealthy, welcoming. Andy is a successful lawyer in NYC, although his father would love to have him move back to their affluent Atlanta suburb and practice law with him. One day while crossing a street in NY, Ellen passes Leo. Although she keeps walking, it is enough to startle her and bring back her feelings for him and the unfinished business of their relationship. Leo calls Ellen on her cell phone, since the number never changed, and they meet in a diner to chat. Leo later gets her a photography gig and the two are together again. Although Ellen is bent on not cheating on her husband physically, she can't help the rush of feelings coming back to her and the longing for closure at the least. The book centers on this dilemma and what Ellen ultimately chooses to do and who she chooses. She'll love the one she's with but the question becomes who will she be with by the end of the book?
Book Review: Still better than most chick lit
Summary: 4 Stars
Ever since I read Something Borrowed I couldn't stop looking for more from Emily Giffin. It's not superficial, one dimensional chick lit. I've read the Shopaholic series and as much as I enjoy it I feel that the characters are under developed and the relationships between them elementary.
Emily Giffin is a whole different story. Her characters are so dynamic and complicated and the arguments and discussions in the books and the emotions the characters struggle with are so real and so raw and so easy to relate to.
I feel that, Love the One You're With is definitely her worst book yet; however, having said that, it's still fabulous.
I have to admit that the books starts off very slowly and continues quite action-less for most of the story. Thinking back, I'm not quite sure what happened throughout the middle of the book. It was all quite uneventful and filled with not that important little tid bits. I found the bitter anti-rich-people sister quite annoying and not very understanding of her sister, Ellen.
Having said all that I think it's the experiences you've had in your life with men and friends which will shape how you relate to the characters and emotions in this particular story. For me, the end of the book when she's struggling with her decision and the thoughts Emily Giffin creates seem so genuine and human to me.
The bottom line is that although I felt the majority of the book was verging on boring at times and lacking in events, the emotions and the humanness in the book are so raw that it's impossible not to relate and contemplate and see yourself somewhere in these characters.
I absolutely cannot wait for Emily Giffin's next novel. I wish there was more intelligent chick lit out there about love and adult relationships. Best chick lit I've ever read. A million times better than the Shopaholic series even if you are just looking for a beach read because although Giffin's novels have more substance they're still impossible to put down!
** (Might contain some spoilers) I'd also like to respond to some of the comments regarding Ellen's immaturity and how she should just grow up. The truth is, Ellen's conflict between the two men in her life is not due to immaturity. You have one life to live and the knowledge that the man you once loved enormously came back to you and wanted to be with you and you never knew about it would seriously mess with someone's head. Of course Ellen loves her husband but love isn't as straight forward and simple as that and I would hope that more people would realize that. Ellen's predicament is one which many people find themselves in, even if you don't run into an ex, a part of you always wonders where they are now and if they've thought of you and what could have been.
Book Review: The one that got away...
Summary: 3 Stars
I loved "Something Borrowed" and "Something Blue" by Emily Giffin. I even enjoyed "Baby Proof" though not quite as much as the first two. And while I will say that I sort of enjoyed this book, it was even less enjoyable than "Baby Proof" for me. It started out promising, and was a worthwhile read, but the ending left me feeling like something was out of kilter and I can't say I'd necessarily want to reread this one.
Ellen has what is supposedly the perfect life with her husband (Andy) when she runs into an ex-boyfriend (Leo) and begins to spend her time wondering "What if?" I'm sure most people have experienced something like that at some point in their lives, and so it's initially somewhat easy to relate to Ellen in that respect. However, Ellen starts to become rather obsessive about it as the book goes along, to the point of where frankly I wanted to slap some sense into her. Her obsessiveness leads to her basically becoming snarky about her husband, her life, her in-laws, their lives, etc. And sure, moving to a new location (as they do in the book) can be hard and doesn't help, but at the same time I don't think she ever really tried to get out, see it, become involved in it or basically just give it a chance. There are times when I felt like someone really needed to tell her to at least try and give things around her a chance - she's so busy trying to justify things in her own mind that she's not really taking a look around her. Of course, she's also so busy not really talking to anyone about it (since she doesn't even give the full story to her sister at times, the one person she does talk to about it) that no one would have known to do so anyway.
Even in the end, I didn't really get a feeling that she was really giving the people around her, her "new" life, or their new location a chance even at the conclusion. Yes, she says that things have improved, but the "solution" almost seems like a cop-out because she couldn't be bothered to be honest with her husband in the first place. Without totally giving away the ending, it was just unsatisfying to me as it felt like a wishy-washy way of taking things.
At one point in the book, Ellen comments that she knows she's acting like she's in junior high and I have to say I agree with her. She doesn't really seem to grow as much as characters in other Emily Giffin books. Yes, this book is very thought provoking, and yes, I suspect many people have experienced the whole "What if?" when it comes to an ex. However, Ellen is a somewhat frustrating character, and to me this book is somewhat unsatisfying, even if it did cause me to think. So while I'd definitely suggest reading this one at least once, I'd also warn that (at least in my opinion) it's not really on par with some of her other books.
Book Review: Frustrated From Page One
Summary: 2 Stars
Having read Something Borrowed and Something Blue, I was excited to read this book in the hopes that it would have the same sort of entertainment value. However, I was pretty much frustrated with the main character from the beginning. Being a pretty decisive person, Ellen's wishy-washy attitude and her entire self-created situation was nerve wracking for me. Leo's character was not made to be likeable, so I could never understand Ellen's obsession with him in the first place. I'm inclined to agree with Margot that Ellen was never really even in love with Leo but in lust with him, because that relationship came across to me as being largely about sex. Andy, on the other hand, was made to be too likeable--he was too perfect and that became annoying after a while, too. The basis of the book was that Ellen had to choose between a kind of slimey guy that dumped her eight years ago, and a guy that treated her like a princess and would do anything for her (that also happens to be the brother of her best friend). Where is the difficulty in that decision? If she truly loved Andy, there would have been no question, and ultimately no book.
In addition to a disappointing and aggravating main character, the story also drags...by...so...slowly. Nothing really happens until the second half of the book, and even then there is not much action. Was there a word quota that Giffin had to reach, so they did not properly edit out all of the filler? Because it seems like there is a lot included in the book that did not need to be included. At the same time, things that should have been included, such as character development, are neglected. So what you are left with is a too-long book full of two-dimensional characters that never seems to go anwhere with the plot. The ending is predictable, and completely unsatisfying. In addition to all of this, the characters are also so...stereotypical. The poor girl from the north. The rich Southern family. And the way that the southern characters were depicted was borderline insulting. Life is not about golfing and shopping and being frivolous in the south any more than it is in the north, but I feel like Giffin painted a picture of people in the north being productive and industrious, and Southerners as being sort of lazy and care-free. Having grown up in the South, it was annoying to see such a poor stereotype in the book.
In the end, I would suggest that if you must read this book for yourself, borrow it from a friend who has already wasted the money on it or get it from the library. Because I am very glad that I did not throw away the money on it.