Love the One You're With
by Emily Giffin
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Book Reviews of Love the One You're With
Book Review: Real - Good
Summary: 4 Stars
I was really anticipating reading Emily Giffin's latest work - having relatively enjoyed her first 3 (I think 'Something Borrowed' might still be my favourite), but also because I'd thought about writing a novel on the same premise. That premise is this - Ellen is hovering around 30, a New York photographer, and a newlywed to her fabulously wealthy best friend's older brother Andy. Their relationship is described as perfect - by Ellen, and by those around her. Indeed, many of the descriptions of Ellen & Andy's interactions certainly rings true as qualities most women would love in a spouse. The crux of the story comes from a chance encounter between Ellen and the former (immature) love of her life from early 20's, Leo. Suddenly Ellen's cushy, well-planned life goes into a tailspin as she struggles with her changing present and lingering past, leaving her questioning her 'perfect' relationship after all.
The thing that I love about all of Giffin's work is the genuine realness of the emotions and thoughts of her characters. Unlike other chick lit authors out there (Helen Fielding and Sophie Kinsella come to mind), the lives and dilemmas her characters face are ordinary and realistic - to the point of being mundane - yet also morally complex. Giffin refuses to settle for a black and white problem and happy ending solution found so often in this genre - her books are ultimately about the personal struggle each character has to go through when faced with a major life decision, and she's willing to show how the shades of grey in between can paint a mixed ending for a protagonist.
This is exactly what Ellen goes through during the entire book - and I mean entire. The downside of this particular book is the fact you spend SO much time in Ellen's thoughts and memories, you rarely get to glimpse the here and now. Pages can go by without current dialogue, much of which is concealed in paragraphs rather than quotes. Although the book is engaging due to the interesting, relatable nature of Ellen's mind, in terms of plot it's sincerely lacking. The plot is Ellen's thought process triggered by a series events - which is both aggravating and interesting.
If you liked Giffin's other books, this is probably the least 'fun' one to date. It also lacks some of the fantastical elements (aside from Andy's money) found in her other novels, although that's not necessarily a bad thing. I'd still give this one a read - although it was sadly a bit on the disappointing side for me.
Book Review: LOVED One You're With
Summary: 5 Stars
Five stars, all the way, as per usual for an Emily Giffin book.
When I read the first chapter of Love the One You're With two years ago when it was in the back of Baby Proof, I got major goosebumps and was DYING to read the book. When I finished it last night, I was sad to be done with it.
The thing about Giffin's books is that you remember her characters. You remember their names. Their personalities. You want to know them. You want to be in the bar with Ellen as she slams the vodka martini when Leo saunters over to her. You can imagine her asking you if she looks cold in her lime green silk tank. You can envision walking through the back slider of Ellen's Atlanta home, helping yourself to a beer in her fridge as Andy says, "Hey, grab me one too." They're that real. You want to sit with Suzanne and bash Margot because she's a little too snooty for you to handle, as much as you know Ellen loves her. They're just normal people. Relatable. Everything that happens in Emily Giffin's books are not contrived. The fiction is all possible, and that's what makes her books so great.
With Love The One You're With, there were so many moments when I was reading and I just stopped, and closed the book, and thought to myself, "I had no idea that was going to happen! That was soooo good!" From the California trip to Margot's friendship deal-breaker, (which INFURIATED and shocked me!) Emily keeps the reader stunned, while keeping it real!
While I pretty much knew who Ellen would end up with, I have to admit, I was rooting for the other. Because I fell in love with the other character! Hot! Hot! Hot! Giffin knows how to write a character a girl could fall in love with. (Oops, sorry I ended a sentence with a preposition!) And as with Something Borrowed and Baby Proof, how the twists are to root for the wrong, well, let's just say I was kind of thinking I wanted the other side of the tracks, although I knew that wasn't the realistic outcome.
But just as Love The One You're With is a song, there's also another great song that comes to mind: You Can't Always Get What You Want, and although I may have wanted Ellen to be with another man, in the end of the book, she got what she needed, and that's also the next line to that song. And as with all Giffin's books, Ellen got a happy ending, she got closure, she got what she was looking for, what she finally needed.
Now, I have to get what I need, and that's another Emily Giffin book!
Book Review: It's all about the last line of the book.
Summary: 4 Stars
Many women I know (and men too) have that "ex". The one that made perfect sense in the heart and in the bedroom but just didn't pan out in the rest of the world. The one that we're sure we're over...until we hear from or see them. The ex that, years later, can rip open that scarred heart and makes us revert once again into that pile of quiver we were shortly after the breakup. The one that makes us second guess the present love and wonder is it as good as that older love? Ellen Dempsey had one of those ex's too.
Overall, I think this book is easy to relate to. Although I don't like all of the choices Ellen made or her wishy-washy attitude about what she should do....I do relate to her. I could empathize with her. When revisiting the "what if" man, I think it's normal to sound goofy and uncertain and maybe a bit irrational. It's that conflict between the head and the heart. And in some cases the old memories of the heart versus the newer love for another.
I'm glad that Ellen finally found her way and made the choice I agree with. Although Leo seemed very characteristic of that "old love", Andy seemed a bit too wimpy. A bit too forgiving. A bit too "perfect". Yet maybe that's why Ellen's decision was even harder.
I too disagree with the Pittsburgh portrayal. That's where my family is from there and feel that the picture painted about life there was a bit off. There was a section when Ellen had a discussion about, how even though she was going to move to Atlanta, she wouldn't start saying "y'all"...she would continue to say "you all". And I was thinking...what about "y'unz"? Why don't you say y'unz? I also think that the inferiority complex of Pittsburgh natives is way off. If anything, it is a city of fierce pride and I can't imagine one of my relatives ever feeling inferior because of their upbringing. But, I regress. It was nice to see the Pittsburgh references but I do feel they were way off. Not even stereotypical because it makes Pittsburgh sound like Bedrock. Just way off.
This book is about sisters, friendship, marriage, love and family. It's about the person you though was "the one" until you profoundly realize that "the one" has always been right in front of you. I think the storyline is something easy to relate to. The writing is merely okay. The plot, especially the last line of the book, provides enough food for thought that I'm giving it 4-stars.
Book Review: The Title Gives it Away
Summary: 3 Stars
First of all, the description of the book, as well as the first chapter, was a little misleading to me. I thought the story would be about a married woman whose former "true love" returns, then which causes her to betray her husband and rethink what true love really is. In a sense, this does occur in the book, just not in a way I'd expected.
Former lover Leo appears in the first few pages, 10 years after leaving the protagonist Ellen. Right off the bat he seems like a slime ball of a bad-boy who wants Ellen and has no respect for the fact that she is married. For the next 90 or so pages Ellen explains her past and how she ended up where she is today: married to her best friend's brother Andy. I felt this setup was a bit long and boring. I wanted to hurry up and get into the real plot of the story already.
Most of the novel is spent inside Ellen's head. She secretly lusting over Leo and their past, all the while wondering if she should call him or not. The core problem seems to be Ellen's rethinking of her current life and whether or not she likes it. On the one hand she has sweet, two-dimensional Andy. Perfect in most ways, yet not that exciting. With Andy she lives the prized life of Southern yuppydom without the need to work another day of her life.
On the other hand there is Leo. Basically the complete opposite of Andy.
I was dissapointed to find that while I liked Andy, there wasn't a very tangible connection between him and Ellen on the pages. He was definitely the better guy between him and Leo though, so I wasn't very conflicted with who I wanted Ellen to end up with. Not much even happens plot-wise. Leo is hardly in the book at all. Ellen sees him maybe three times total, sends him a few e-mails, and that's that. Pretty boring stuff. I sniffed the ending from 100 miles away, and even then it wasn't entirely believable.
Giffin had a good idea with this book, but ruined it by spending too much time in Ellen's head instead of making anything happen. Also, the other characters in the story deserved way more development than they got. This book is definitely my least favorite of Giffin's four works. Something Borrowed and Something Blue are far better. I recommend reading those instead, especially for a good summer read.
Book Review: Will She or Won't She?
Summary: 5 Stars
Ellen has been married to Andy for one hundred days when she bumps into Leo in Union Square, the love of any earlier life, the one who she let go. She tells Leo she's married now and he says he just wants to be friends. She agrees, but decides not to tell Andy.
Ellen's mother died when she was thirteen, survived by Ellen, her old sister suzanne and her father. Eileen leaves home after high school, goes to college where she rooms with Margot, a beauty queen daughter of a wealthy attorney. Andy is Margot's older brother.
After college Eileen and Margot get an apartment in New York. Ellen gets a job as a waitress, but photography has always been her first love and she eventually gets a job in a photo lab. Then she gets a summons for jury duty. Leo is on the jury too.
They become an item, Ellen is love, but after a year or so Ellen feels Leo drifting away and she begins to wonder if he loves her like she loves him. She suggests they break up, expecting Leo to resist, however he does not. Alone now, Ellen seeks refuge in photography and after a bit starts dating and as time goes on, she falls in love with Margot's older brother, who is sweet and kind and has kind of always been around.
Okay, so what is Ellen going to do now? Clearly it's wrong for her to go out with Leo in any capacity. He's her past. However, she kind of can't help herself. One thing leads to another and Ellen finds herself in L.A. with sister Suzanne on a photo shoot when she runs into, you guessed it, Leo. She is so far from home. What will she do?
Choices, life is all about choices. We make `em and we should live with 'em, but sometimes it's not so easy. Sometimes you wonder what if you'd have done things differently. Sometimes your heart pulls you in different directions, sometimes you make the right choice sometimes you do something foolish. That's what I like about Emily Giffin's stories, they seem to be about real people who sometimes seriously goof up, like we all do. I was captured by this one, wondering all the way through, will she or won't she? You gotta read the book to find out. You won't be disappointed.
Reviewed by Vesta Irene