Madness: A Bipolar Life
by Marya Hornbacher
|
List Price: Our Price: $2.49 You Save: $22.51 (90%) Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days Buy Used: from $0.01 (click here) Category: Book See more book details and other editions |
|---|
Book Reviews of Madness: A Bipolar Life
Book Review: A triumph
Summary: 5 Stars
I was 23, the same age as Marya Hornbacher, when her first book, the eating disorder memoir WASTED, was published. I devoured the book, simultaneously struck by envy (how could someone my age write with such authority and emotional authenticity?) and admiration at her courage to write so openly about such a deeply personal and painful topic as her own decade-long battle with anorexia and bulimia. WASTED has stayed with me since its publication, and I have often found myself wondering whatever happened to that promising young author, who, with the exception of a 2005 novel, has been silent for the past decade.
Now I know.
In MADNESS: A Bipolar Life, Hornbacher candidly and often brutally describes her life before and after the publication of her first book. At that time, she, her friends, family and therapists all believed that, with the conquering of her eating disorder, she would finally also have control over her chaotic and at times out-of-control life. Little did they know, however, that Hornbacher was in the grip of a much larger mental illness, one that had been overlooked since her childhood.
Even as a preschooler, Hornbacher rarely slept, waking her parents at all hours of the night demanding to play. Her ambition and seemingly inexhaustible energy actually served her well during her school years, enabling the high-achieving young author to accomplish far more than anyone could have thought possible. But almost no one knew that Hornbacher was already using alcohol and drugs to manage her manic episodes, engaging in sex in exchange for drugs, and trying desperately to exert power over her out-of-control body by cutting herself and developing a soon-to-be life-threatening eating disorder.
Only after one of those cutting episodes resulted in a near-fatal loss of blood, only after the publication of WASTED, only after she had already alienated many of her friends, acquaintances and colleagues did Hornbacher finally receive the diagnosis that would redefine her life. Hornbacher was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (formerly known as manic-depressive disease).
Giving a name to her condition was only the first step in a long and painful process, however. Hornbacher's alcoholism sabotaged her doctors' attempts to control her bipolar disorder; therapists brought in to control her resurgent anorexia misdiagnosed her and prescribed harmful anti-depressants; her own high-achieving personality constantly undermined her will to manage her disease. Soon her bipolar disorder threatens not only her one mature romantic relationship but even her own life. In the end, though, a compassionate husband, supportive friends and, most importantly, a personal, conscious decision to re-imagine her own life allow Hornbacher to strike a cautiously hopeful tone at the end of the book.
MADNESS is, at times, a nearly exhausting memoir to read. Written in Hornbacher's breathless, rapid-fire style, the prose occasionally seems to echo her manic episodes, as ideas and details come flying off the page a mile a minute. In addition, it can be emotionally draining to spend so much space locked in another person's troubled head --- but, as in this case, it can also be fascinating to read an intelligent, compelling exploration of a life defined by forces largely outside one's control. What's most remarkable, especially in light of my own musings about "what happened" to this eminently talented young author, is that she was able to accomplish so much even when wracked by such a debilitating disease, including writing much of this memoir in between a series of hospitalizations over the past several years. In that light, MADNESS is not only a much-needed exploration of an often-overlooked disease; it is, for this particular writer, a triumph.
--- Reviewed by Norah Piehl
Book Review: Bipolar Battles Beget Hope
Summary: 5 Stars
Just reading the table of contents in Marya Hornbacher's book, Madness: A Bipolar Life, offers the reader some insight into the world of bipolar illness--"Depression," "Meltdown," "Escapes," "Hypomania," "The Diagnosis," "Losing It," "Hospitalization #1," "Hospitalization #6," "Release." The nature of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia makes the illness worse by the vicious cycle of paranoia, pain, and insanity that cause the suffering person to do everything to sabotage her treatment, or as Hornbacher says, "...how to make sure that you'll be getting crazier by the day." So when her psychiatrist says, don't drink alcoholic beverages, keep a routine, eat healthy, take the meds and so on, Hornbacher does just the opposite. Not because she's intentionally trying to disregard her doctor's advice, but because her manic episodes and the voices in her head tell her that she's okay, while the depressive episodes prevent her from taking any action at all.
Confounding all this confusion, the quality of care also takes its toll on her mental state as the emergency room doctors sometimes make medical decisions that oppose her doctor's treatment plan. In a sad but amusing account, Hornbacher patiently explains to the hospital psychiatrist that she's not depressed, but coming off a manic episode. The psychiatrist decides to increase her antidepressant medication and sleeping pills. When Hornbacher argues that she's an addict and can't take the medication the doctor prescribes, the doctor says, "I'm sure you won't start abusing it." Nothing Hornbacher says can convince the doctor to follow the regimen prescribed by her own doctor.
The author's account of her heroic struggles to escape the insanity of bipolar disorder, and her honesty and insight into her bizarre behaviors, make a fast-paced, gut-wrenching story. One that causes the reader to not only better understand those who suffer from this illness, but to cheer with the hope that Hornbacher expresses in experiencing good results as she strives to take her medications, exercise, use light therapy, participate in group therapy sessions, and listen to her therapist. Her ability to maintain this tenuous balance depends upon whether she can keep her swinging moods under control.
Hornbacher chronicles the often humorous though sad episodes of a person with bipolar disorder. In her manic episodes, she's a university teacher, a writer, and a lecturer doing a hundred and one different things all at once while drunk, on medication, and with little or no sleep. With insight, she says, "That I have made it all this way without dying or killing myself or someone else is a miracle, or a joke." It's no joke that she has successfully chronicled an illness that has contributed to her brilliance as well as to her suffering, in a way that allows the reader to understand and feel compassion for people afflicted with bipolar disorder. And she offers direction to those who might help.
by Susan Andrus
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women
Book Review: Understanding the madness
Summary: 4 Stars
This book was important to me in nursing a broken heart as I had dated a bipolar man for two years and eventually we broke up due to his abrupt and extreme mood changes and his substance usage. I know that bipolar is a difficult diagnosis to have but I didn't realize the full reality of what it meant until coming upon this book. My boyfriend used to get so angry at me for walking slow, driving slow (the speed limit), or not doing anything up to his speed. In the book, the author explains that when she was in manic phase, EVERYONE seemed slow and it was excruciating to her to tolerate her perceived "slowness" of others as the thoughts inside her head were moving in warp speed. When my boyfriend was in his depressed stage he would literally disappear, not answer the phone, not talk to me, and drink. The author explains how devastating the depressive cycle was to her and how impossible it was to get up out of bed during this time, in fact she would use cocaine to get her going. She explains the relationship of the manic depressives cycles to substance usage. At times I would try to talk to my boyfriend about his "cycles" which were predictable and he would stare at me and act like he didn't know what I was talking about, which I couldn't believe, since it seemed so obvious. But in this book, the author explains her surprise as an adult when a psychologist asked her about how fast she cycled (changed moods) and she didn't know what he was talking about. To her, the moods were random and came and went without explanation. In fact the psychologist had to explain to her what a "cycle" was. She was so unaware about herself.
At the end of our relationship, my boyfriend found another woman in less than a month's time which truly hurt my feelings, and yet the author also reveals that after the breakup of her marriage she had found a new husband and moved across country in less than a month. Impulsivity, another aspect of bipolar manic phase.
Reading this revealing autobiography helped me to understand what demons my ex boyfriend was wrestling with and helped to heal some of my hurts that I had taken his behaviors personally and realized it wasn't like that. This book will not save our relationship as me and my ex have both moved on, but I applaud the author for her candid writing about a mental state that affects many of the most creative and loving people. It will also help me know ahead of time what I might be getting into should I ever be attracted to a man with bipolar again, which I actually don't think will happen, unless he is willing to take medication to treat it, which my ex expressed he did not want to do. Still, I think this is a good book to help understand friends and loved ones. I recommend it.
Book Review: Bipolars... Hear me out
Summary: 4 Stars
Marya is an amazing writer and her literary gift puts you right in the middle of her psychotic episodes. So on sheer literary value, this book would get 5 stars for me. It was gripping, emotionally intense, and very well-written.
That being said, this book is being hailed as an end-all, be-all for Bipolar disorder and as a female with exactly the same diagnosis as Marya (Ultra Rapid Cycling Bipolar I) but without an eighth of the crazy that she has, it's important to remember that Bipolar is a SPECTRUM disorder and she is at the FAR crazy end of it, a near worst case possibility that is not typical in the least. This is yet another book that makes the general population terrified of people with Bipolar disorder. I haven't seen many books at ALL that will gently remind you that Bipolar is a spectrum disorder and there ARE people out there with these tragic diagnoses (like myself) who still get up every day, go to work, and function as productive members of our society. Just because she needs a visit to the funny farm a few times a year and about 18 different chemicals in her bloodstream at any given moment doesn't mean that all or even MOST people who live with Manic Depression are the same.
On that basis, I deduct a point from the book because it focuses on her experience, her diagnosis, her reckless abandon, and her low functionality in a world that expects she at least get out of her pj's every day, without acknowledging that she is indeed, out of her mind. She never takes more than a sentence to remind the world that she's on the far end of a SPECTRUM disorder. She just writes down her experiences with the disorder, a bunch of jumbled facts, and closes the book out. And on fear factor alone (my MIL started hovering over me every time I used a steak knife for a month after reading this book), this book barely keeps the four stars I'm giving it. It'll scare the crap out of you... make you think that Bipolar = crazy... and tell you ALL about how she's dealt with her crazy (Coke and booze binges anyone??). But it's hardly the end-all, be-all memoir on living with Manic Depression.
Bipolar people... Read it to remind yourself... I might be out of my mind but at least I'm not THAT bad (and DO be warned that every bipolar person I know has had an episode triggered by reading this book Including myself!!). Supporters of Bipolar people... read it and remind yourself that this is the worst case scenario. And for all others interested in how Bipolar people think or are... Check out Detour by Lizzie Simon... a MUCH better read on the spectrum of Bipolar Disorder and the disorganized world of a Manic Depressive mind... WITHOUT the fear factor this and most other books on the subject give you.
Book Review: Who decides
Summary: 4 Stars
I have read Hornbacher's two previous works, [1st "Wasted", then "The Center of Winter" (a novel)):] ; and each book provides more insight into this complex person, as well as our society. She is a fine writer--and very troubled. I read "Wasted" in 2004 and thought--No way is this person "cured." Then I read her novel, "Winter," and her experiences made more sense. With "Madness" ... yeah, okay, now we're getting to the heart of the issue. I don't think she's done yet ... unless she overdoses.
In writing, it's imperative that the author be true to details if he or she wants the reader to believe the story, be it fiction or not, oka?. Hornbacher now claims to have a bipolar brain, that has a will of its own. In other words, her brain has a mind of its own, independent of Hornbacher's. But, she also says that she knows how to control her mind. Yet, it's obvious, she chooses not to. Marya has fell in love with her "illness."
I have first hand knowledge of the five demons in the author's life: 1) Family discord; 2) Bulimia; 3) Manic-depression; 4) Alcoholism; and, 5) Pharmacological medication. I also share her passion for writing. Okay.
Much of what she recounts seems untrue. But then, people who suffer from the above five "things" tend to lie ... or more kindly--deceive themselves. That does not mean that what she says (writes) isn't worth paying attention to. Maybe the most important thing to note is that she hasn't hurt anyone or had children ... so ... So what? She makes money and contributes to society.
In "Madness," she attaches a cost disclosure of the brain "disorder" she has - out of pocket, and to society. It is a lot of money. She is an angry person in love with her anger and "madness." Everybody wins - so long as mad and angry people don't have children and don't hurt anyone (financial costs aside.)
I ask you (reader, parent, social scientist, publicist, literary critic, student) can you believe someone who says that they drank seventeen (17) double martinis (approximately one gallon of liquor) and lived? And not only lived, but has written three books while under such intoxication ... One who disdains therapy and legal medication? Thank goodness she never had children.
I really don't know what to make of all of this. As one who has worked, professionally and personally, with all of that which she writes about ... . I come to this conclusion: Money cannot buy a person happiness, but it can keep you alive, and so long as you don't have children ... be as mad as you want.