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Book Summary InformationAuthor: Torey L. Hayden Brand: Avon Edition: Mass Market Paperback Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published) Published: 1981-05-01 ISBN: 0380542625 Number of pages: 336 Publisher: Avon Product features: - ISBN13: 9780380542628
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! BUY WITH CONFIDENCE, Over one million books sold! 98% Positive feedback. Compare our books, prices and service to the competition. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed
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Book Reviews of One ChildBook Review: Thank you Torey! Summary: 5 Stars
As a victim of extreme child abuse and experiences not dissimilar to that experienced by Sheila, and as an adult who has become consistently drawn to helping children who struggle with various aspects that block their progress, I am compelled to say that I found both One Child and The Tiger's child to be an incredible journey and an amazingly cathartic read. I am grateful that I was privileged enough to share it with these two amazing people.
On the one hand, I could relate to Sheila in so many ways - and reading about her helped me to understand my own strength and courage, and through her, to respect what I have managed to achieve in my life, against the odds.
I also related strongly to Torey, who shows what it means when an adult truly tries to understand the child behind the behaviour. She shows us what it means to look below the surface, what it means to truly care enough to have an impact. She shows us what it means to choose to love and take a chance.
The risk of doing harm in this context pales in comparison to the chance of adding some sense of self worth to the psyche of a very damaged child. I cannot praise Torey enough for what she managed to do for Sheila. The value of what was offered far outweighs any cost.
Torey admits openly in The Tiger's Child that she discovered that her own disappearance from Sheila's life caused harm. She is very honest about this. She also expresses her own angst and regret at this fact. Sheila was definitely hurt by Torey's disappearance. However, she also benefited from the encounter in ways that nobody can understand unless they have been there and experienced it.
In my childhood, there was a psychologist/social worker who spent a short time sharing space with me when I was about six years old. I have always missed her since we parted ways and would still love to see her again - but the fact that she was there, even for five minutes, matters enormously to me, because she made me realise I had value, that I was important enough that I deserved help. I have never been angry at her for moving on in her life, and in fact never thought about it from the position of feeling abandoned until I read Tiger's Child.
In the end, it is a matter of choice of perspective - I chose to value the good that was offered to me and to hang onto that and find strength in the memory of it. I imagine many other children would make that same choice.
What Torey added to Sheila's sense of identity by being there for those five months when she was so small, was an idea that she had worth. She also showed Sheila that her life had possibility, that she could have a future - that it was okay to hope for something better. Without this hope, Sheila may never have survived for so long.
At a crucial time in her development, Torey gifted Sheila with an alternative view of the world, and let her know that she wasn't ever completely alone. It seems distinctly plausible that by doing this, she averted disaster and probably prevented Sheila from heading down a path of potential sociopathy.
The focus on IQ was, quite simply, on two levels - firstly, that Torey was so surprised to discover that this firey little ball of dirt and fists had such potential, and secondly, that it was an attribute that could be used in "the system" in order to achieve a new chance at a future for Sheila. In the era described, IQ carried great weight, and I know if I was trying to save a child from what I considered to be a harmful future setting, I would use whatever positive attributes that exist within that child as much as possible. The beauty of IQ in that context is that it is something which can be measured and demonstrated - and it works in a court of law.
Torey made no judgement of any of her other students who had lower IQs, clearly loved them all and was passionate about assisting each and every one of the to a better quality of life. It just happens that this particular child had a huge impact on her teacher, and in the end, that is what this book (and Tiger's Child) is about - the teacher's admiration for the courage, strength, endurance and tenacity of a young individual who is struggling against massive life obstructions.
I urge everyone to remain open to the idea that Torey's efforts, while possibly not perfect, were by far better than the consequences of no efforts being made at all.
Summary of One ChildFinally, a beginning...The time had finally come. The time I had been waiting for through all these long months that I knew sooner or later had to occur. Now it was here. She had surprised me so much by actually crying that for a moment I did nothing but look at her. Then I gathered her into my arms, hugging her tightly. She clutched onto my shirt so that I could feel the dull pain of her fingers digging into my skin. She cried and cried and cried. I held her and rocked the chair back and on its rear legs, feeling my arms and chest get damp from the tears and her hot breath and the smallness of the room.
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