Parenting with Grace: Catholic Parent's Guide to Raising Almost Perfect Kids
by Gregory K. Popcak, Lisa Popcak

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Book Reviews of Parenting with Grace: Catholic Parent's Guide to Raising Almost Perfect Kids

Book Review: Practical book but I had serious reservations
Summary: 3 Stars

However, as I was reading the book, there were several sections that were particularly unsettling and I found that unless one is already naturally bent toward attachment parenting (or possibly latently), this book may prove a bit disconcerting. Understandibly, most parenting books claim to be the "preferred" way to parenting but this book, to me, goes beyond that because of the theological claims it seems to make.

I found the following paragraph troubling....

"Lisa and I are not so foolish as to think that the methods we present are the only ways to parent. But it is our opinion that the methods we describe represent an invitation to enjoy "the next level" of parenting.....Just as other Christian denominations possess some truth, but the Catholic Church has "the fullness of truth" other parents are capable of having good relationships with their children, but we believe the parents who avail themselves of the parenting style we present here are capable of entering into the 'fullness of family life'."(pg. 137)

It is obvious to anyone that there is not only one way to parent but I found it interesting that the authors left out any words from that sentence which would imply other parenting methods as also being **good and effective** in imparting Christian virtues and raising holy children. On the contrary, from the remaining sentences they instead strongly imply that anyone who chooses not to follow their method of parenting are falling short on "the fullness of family life" and are parenting on a "lower level". There is no Church authority or teaching that backs up such a claim and I find it unsettling that they took it upon themselves to assume it. I must admit, my impressions of the book were a bit marred from then on.

Further on, the authors then strongly imply that unless one is practicing attachment parenting and the style chosen by the authors, one is failing to love their children with as much generosity as they. Quoting from the book: "As the parable of the ungrateful servant teaches, God calls us to model the same generosity He shows to us. Yes, it would be enough to be a good, loving conventional parent. But by God's own example, Catholic Christians are called to be more than "enough". We are called to be "perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect". That is, perfect in love."(pg.162) Isn't this similar to saying that if we don't all give up everything we own and go to India to serve the poor as Mother Teresa did we aren't being generous enough. Personal holiness or "perfection" is not confined to any method of parenting any more than it is to a particular vocation, career, spirituality, or devotion. To a Catholic, being perfected in love consists in lovingly and generously doing the will of God, and God's will varies for each individual. Perfection in generosity does not consist in how long one nurses a child, whether or not one has a family bed or wears a sling.

Athough the book has some good practical tips for any parent, especially for those who already espouse attachment parenting, I respectfully disagree with their extraneous theological assertions. I also was turned off completely by the arrogant (for lack of a better word) undertones.

I would also recommend the authors to read "Story of a Family" to see how the parents, who themselves are up for canonization, raised the greatest saint of modern times. It's interesting to note that they were a dual-income family, complete with servants, who sent their children to boarding school. (St. Therese was sent away to live with a wet nurse for several months b/c of health problems). Recently canonized St. Gianna Beretta Molla was a physician so it seems highly unlikely that she practiced attachment parenting either

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