REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book
by Robert Hamburger
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Book Summary Information
Author: Robert HamburgerEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2004-07-01
ISBN: 080652569X
Number of pages: 192
Publisher: Citadel
Book Reviews of REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book
Book Review: Not funny at all.
Summary: 1 Stars
Robert Hamburger is a prepubescent kid who thought it would be funny to start an Internet site/parody a la his idol Maddox [...]. The huge difference between Robert and Maddox, however, is the following:
- Maddox is (or was) funny
- Maddox plays immaturity for laughs, whereas Robert really just is immature and doesn't understand the basics of humor nor irony
- Maddox understands satire
- Maddox doesn't rely on utter stupidity, bad spelling and lots of random punctuation marks and capitalization for comedic effect.
Here's something that "genius" Robert Hamburger wrote, taken directly from his (very lame) website:
"Apparently, there was this ninja who was hanging out with some kid. They played basketball and ate hamburgers together. One day the kid was like "Do you want to hear something that will mess up your life?" The ninja was like "What are you talking about?" "A real live ghost story," said the kid.
"O.K." said the ninja.
Then the kid began..."These two buddies were eating tacos together one night at a bar and it was raining really hard (outside). They were just talking. Then all of a sudden, there was a noise, like a gurgle or squirt. The buddies were like "What the heck is that?" And guess what...it happened again! They were both completely freaked out. (One buddy couldn't even finish his meal.) They briefly looked around the bar for clues, but they never found out what it was. And both buddies went home scared to death." After hearing the ghost story, the ninja was so scared that he grabbed the kid and spanked him until both parties squirted urine."
====
Oh yes, very funny, I'm just bursting with laughter. (Insert sarcasm here.)
Furthermore, this kid has some nerve. His painfully unfunny and pointless rip-off website is online and attracts attention (millions of visitors thanks ONLY to Maddox's cross-link), and he decides to write a BOOK?!
If he kept his website updated, and offered something funny, I could understand it. I mean, Maddox releasing a book? That would be completely understandable, as he was "the" pioneer of this OTT Internet humor stuff and has been around longer than anyone can seem to remember.
Hamburger is just a kid who thinks he's really funny. He got his book published because his website gets traffic from Maddox's. I'm surprised by the amount of positive reviews here. Simply put, if you think people saying things such as "I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee)" is funny, you're gonna love this.
Summary of REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book
Dear Stupid Idiots,A lot of you have been saying that I don?t know anything about REAL ninjas. But that?s a bunch of bull crap! You dummies don?t know anything. And maybe YOU should get a life. I bet a lot of you have never even seen a girl naked! You idiots believe that ninjas had some "code of honor." Yeah right! If by "code of honor," you mean "code to flip out and go nuts for absolutely no reason at all even if it means that people might think you are totally insane or sweet," then you are right. But if you mean a "code to be nice and speak nicely while sharing and not cutting off heads," then you?re the biggest idiot ever!!!!!! So if you have any brains, you will shut up and get a life. So go shut up, you stupid idiot.
No thank you,
Robert Hamburger
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