Sink Reflections
by Marla Cilley
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Book Summary Information
Author: Marla CilleyEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2002-10-01
ISBN: 0553382179
Number of pages: 256
Publisher: Bantam
Book Reviews of Sink Reflections
Book Review: This system really works
Summary: 4 Stars
First off, I'll say that I'm not religious at all, and the author's beliefs about her god and her expression of them does not bother me. This is America and we are all entitled to express what we believe, and we all know we're not under obligation to agree with each other. So to those offended by what she references (God Breezes, etc.), I don't really understand why that is. Yeah, FlyLady's style can be a little sappy, but that isn't the point- getting your home in the shape you want it to be is the point.
Second, I am a single woman with no children who works full-time and lives at home with my partially-disabled mother. I do virtually all of the cooking and cleaning, and have since I was 12 or 13. I also work full-time. Far from being a disorganized clutterbug, I know how to clean a house very nicely, I am an expert at doing laundry, I never have trouble throwing anything out and I'm a great cook. I am not upset by the fact that she wrote this book for someone living a different lifestyle than myself- I take what I need from the system and leave the rest. I'm also not upset that she wrote this for someone with a different personality than myself. Not really sure why this seems to be such an issue for some of the people who wrote negative reviews. Truth is, most women do live a lifestyle similar to the author (wives, mothers, etc.), which is why she has such a following. Some people are completely and utterly disorganized when they come across this system, their life in chaos. Some people, like me, just needed to tweak their habits. There's something here for everyone, IMO.
Even with all of my housekeeping skills, I grew up learning absolutely no sense of routines or time management, which is what the author is talking about. You can be great at cleaning a house and still have a house that looks like crap on a day-to-day basis. I never grew up making my bed each morning or washing the dishes each night. Like a lot of kids with single parents, I had very little structure to my life and the chaos was something that followed me into adulthood.
What FlyLady helped me to do was set up a control journal where I knew what had to be done each day and when. I am an intelligent person, but trying to keep a house in the midst of working full-time can be very overwhelming, even with no kids or spouse. It can be confusing just to know where to start. Seeing what I need to do when, written out in black and white, just made it much more effortless. Step-by-step, my chores are laid out, and simply not having to put much thought into what to do next makes a task that much quicker and easier. Before you know it, these habits are so routine, they don't seem like an effort at all. I was able to work on a habit at a time (baby steps) until my life and home the way I wanted it- she doesn't pressure you to do everything at once.
Before Flylady, my house would be clean for about 5 minutes once a week (on Saturday, after I spent 6 hours cleaning...) and a disaster the rest of the time. Now, by doing 45-60 minutes of work a day, my home is always company-ready. I then use Jeff Campbell's "Speed Cleaning" system to deep-clean my house within a couple of hours on Saturday morning. Then my weekend is free for family, friends & beloved pastimes.
I now have a Control Journal which houses my address & phone # list, when my family/friends' birthdays & anniversaries are, my day planner, a portable calendar, my list of routines/chores, an emergency plan (if it's ever needed), a copy of my current resume, a copy of my medical & surgical history, a copy of my Advance Directive & my Master To-Do List. I carry this with me everywhere- I have a nice zippered folio w/ a handle to make it easier. My file cabinet is also neat, everything is labeled as it should be, bills get paid on time, papers are in their proper place (as are other valuables) & I go through one folder or desk drawer a night to keep clutter at bay.
My house is neat and welcoming- I have no clutter and I know where everything is now. A calendar is up right next to my desk, at eye level, where both my mother & I can see & use it. So scheduling is a breeze now. I lay tomorrow's clothes out after I get dressed each morning, jewelry & shoes included. My work badges are on a key ring attached to my keys, so that I never forget them. I brush my teeth, shower, dress to lace-up shoes, apply my makeup & do my hair every morning. My goal is to always feel prepared for any emergency that could come up. I go to bed by 10:30 at the latest at night & get up on time for work, without terrible exhaustion. Before work starts, I take time for sipping coffee, eating a filling breakfast & relax at home to start my day off right. The beds are made every day & the sheets are changed weekly. The bathrooms get a daily swish-and-swipe that takes about three minutes- I wipe down the mirror, just in the spots where it needs it, wipe down the vanity & top of the toilet bowls w/ Lysol wipe, swish the toilet bowls w/ a toilet brush, take out any trash & change the towels, if needed. When done daily, so little dust, hair, lint, etc., builds up, it really does take less than five minutes. I straighten up & de-clutter the living & dining room, plus light some candles each evening. I purchase fresh flowers once a week to enjoy their beauty. I keep up with my dishwasher, unloading, reloading & running it as needed now. (That alone made a gigantic difference in my life.) Every night after dinner I wash the dirty pots & pans, wipe down the counters & stovetop, shine my sink & change the kitchen towels. I call in my medications on time to the pharmacy now because I write everything down. I typically do a load of laundry each weekday, then wash the sheets & towels on the weekends- it never, ever gets out of hand. My bedroom & office always look the same- organized & clean. I go through my new mail every night when I come home, dump the junk in the trash, deal with the rest immediately (phone call, email, type something up, pay a bill, whatever's needed), listen to & clear my voicemail daily & read my emails twice a day. Before bed, I take out my contacts, brush & floss my teeth, wash & moisturize my face, apply hand cream & lip balm. I throw out items which are worn out without guilt. I give away good items which I no longer need, not saving them "because I (or someone else) spent good money on them". Now, this did not all happen overnight. These habits were built over a few years' time.
I follow a simple schedule to get other things done, too- Monday is Desk Day, when I back up computer files to disk, run disk defrag & cleanup, run my anti-virus scan, write any letters or emails needed, etc. Tuesday is Anti-Procrastination Day, where I do at least one thing I've been putting off, like making a doctor's appt. Wednesday is when I do a variation of FlyLady's Weekly Home Blessing Hour- I simply dust, vacuum the floors & wash the bare floors (since I work full-time, that's about all the housework I want to do on a weeknight!). It never takes more than an hour. Thursday is Meal-Planning Day, when I declutter & quickly wipe down my fridge, freezer, pantry & laundry area, write up next week's dinner menu & the next day's grocery list. Friday, I clean out our vehicle, dust it, wipe down the windows & also do my grocery shopping for the week ahead. If I need to do other errands first (getting gas, going to the bank, etc.), I do so. Saturday morning is when I clean the house more thoroughly (cleaning bathroom tubs, changing the sheets, etc.) & also do Planning Time, syncing my to-do list, calendar & day planner. Sunday is Pampering Day- I make sure to trim & file my nails, shave, use deep conditioner on my hair, things that are a part of weekly body care. I try to keep Saturday evening & Sundays free for friends/family, but also just have for time for myself to reflect and enjoy the day quietly. Contrary to my old belief system, this set of routines doesn't imprison me- it actually sets me free to do the things I really want to, with no guilt, no chores and no dirty house weighing on my conscience.
I also have learned to take care of myself better. Her suggestions are simple, but powerful. The big one is to drink water throughout the day. I carry a stainless steel water bottle w/ me everywhere I go. Staying hydrated has helped me lose weight, lessen the migraine headaches I used to get & helps w/ fatigue. I now take a few supplements daily, which has really helped my immune system & pain levels (I have fibromyalgia). She also advises to exercise fifteen minutes a day- because some exercise is better than none, and fifteen minutes of walking a day is more than a lot of people do. Personally, I do 30 minutes of yoga & 15 minutes of meditation every morning, which helps keep me limber & de-stressed. I also walk on my breaks at work, adding up to about 20 minutes of walking a day. I don't put off doctor's visits, medical tests & dental cleanings like I once did. Being more organized, I know in advance what days I can get off of work & make sure to schedule appointments then. These sound like modest goals, but they really do lead to better health & being in tune w/ one's physical body more.
On the subject of health, my stress level is much lower now (and it's even reflected in my consistently normal blood pressure levels, which used to be on the cusp of being too high). Maybe it's just aging, but I've learned to prioritize in my mind what's important & what's not, and to let the small stuff roll off my back. I believe that utilizing this system is a huge part of that change. I've been freed up (since I no longer have clutter to deal w/ very often & have simple routines all the time) to write in my journal for 15 minutes a day, and really get to know who I truly am. I don't panic if the maintenance man or a friend needs to drop by. That, in and of itself, is worth a heck of a lot to me. I feel put-together, comfortable & relaxed, more often than not. I pretty much knew what needed to be done before, sure- but I needed a SYSTEM of when to do it. That is what Flylady helps you to do. Even if I miss a day of routines due to illness or something else that came up, I know exactly what I need to do to get my home back on track, and that eliminates a ton of stress. Goofy though it may be to say, I believe if you are trying, you are flying. I can always jump back on the bandwagon, which FlyLady herself says- just jump in where you are!
I will end by saying that many of us grew up in chaotic homes where we never established the habits, household and otherwise, that made our lives feel safe, stable and secure. On an emotional level, I think that this book is helpful to those of us who never got to make these "simple" things habit. It has nothing to do with intelligence- it has everything to do with how we are programmed. The cool part is, we can reprogram ourselves, even as adults. If you want to get some order and good habits established in your chaotic life, I don't see how this book could be anything but helpful.
Summary of Sink Reflections
Fly Out of CHAOS(Can?t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)
Into Order?One BabyStep at a Time
With her special blend of housecleaning tips, humor, and musings about daily life, Marla Cilley, a.k.a. The FlyLady, shows you how to manage clutter and chaos and get your home?and your life?in order. Drawn from the lessons and tools used in her popular mentoring program, the FlyLady system helps you create doable housekeeping routines and break down overwhelming chores into manageable missions that will restore peace to your home?and your psyche. Soon you?ll be able to greet guests without fear, find your keys, locate your kids, and, most of all, learn how to FLY: Finally Love Yourself.
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