Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
by Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger
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Book Summary Information
Author: Paul T. Mason, Randi KregerEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 1998-07
ISBN: 157224108X
Number of pages: 258
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
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Book Reviews of Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Book Review: Dated, inaccurate and dangerous
Summary: 1 Stars
Enormous strides been made in understanding BPD since 1998 when "Stop Walking on Eggshells" was published. From a 2009 perspective, we can now recognize that "Stop Walking" is (through no fault of its no-doubt well-intentioned 1998 authors) so deeply flawed that it's dangerous. Today, more accurate, updated, constructive, and practical books written by more intelligent, highly qualified professionals allow the reader to benefit from the insights uncovered by research since "Stop Walking" was written.
As of the date of this review (June 2009), I recommend the following: Alex Chapman, Ph.D & Kim Gratz, Ph.D., "The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide" (Nov. 2007). The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide. Matthew McKay, Ph.D, Jeffrey Wood, Psy.D. & Jeffrey Brantley, M.D., "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises" (July 2007). Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
Better stuff might come along after the date of this review, because the latest clinical research shows that Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and the right combination of psychotherapeutic medications are yielding better results for people with BPD and their loved ones than ever before. DBT has proven a breakthrough in coping with BPD, but has been widely available for only a few years. Thus BPD books pre-dating mid-2007 are now at best misleading and potentially dangerous.
Despite its recent publication and high ratings from a handful of Amazon users, "The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells" (2008) is marred by most of the same misinformation and omissions as the 1998 "Stop Walking on Eggshells." The 2008 book is written by Randi Kreger LMSW, one of the authors of the 1998 companion, so it's no coincidence that the new book's title echoes the old one's. This also helps explain why the new book's analysis is so out-dated. Kreger relies on the 1998 books's foundation, but fails to acknowledge that that the foundation has rotted in the intervening decade. For the similar reasons, Kreger's 2002 "Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook," which garners an average 5-star review from 20 Amazon readers as of this date, is full of recipes for eggshell omelettes--that is, dysfunctional relationships. Non-BPD reviewers heap praise on Kregers's work because it helps them not resolve their dysfunctional relationships with BPD loved ones, but extricate themselves from them, and as the book's subtitle indicates "Take...Back" their "Lives" from the BPD people. Some reviewers imply that their relationships ended. The most compassionate reviewers express "pity" for BPD people, but no consciousness of potential ways to overcome both the BPD's and the non-BPD's suffering or the dysfunction in their relationship.
None of Kreger's three books are about resolving problems. They're about helping the non-BPD reader gain distance from the problem--the person with BPD. Don't learn to walk. "Stop Walking."
Whenever you're reading this review, here are a few thoughts about how you might find the best currently available BPD books. Consider:
(a) not only the the recency of publication (though that's important), but also
(b) the CREDENTIALS of the authors. I have no reason to be unreasonably biased in favor of Ph.D.'s. I don't have one and personally know only a few people who do. The fact is that Ph.D.'s, Psy.D's and M.D.'s are far more competitive programs to gain entry to and require triple to quadruple the years of training to complete as compared to the 2-year "Master of Social Work" (MSW) degree. All of the authors of the more popular but poorly researched "Stop Walking" series have MSW's, while all the authors of the other two books recommended above (the superior research quality and practicality of which is evident on every page) have Ph.D.'s, Psy.D.'s or M.D.'s. Credentials aren't everything, but they seem worth at least some consideration.
(c) the publishers (whose reputations can be discerned through a quick Google search); and
(d) if possible, the quality of the text, as determined by using Amazon's "Look Inside" feature. Is the text coherent and supported by reference to scientific research?
[...]
Kreger's site is slick and commercial, much more eye catching than Chapman's c.v. page, but Kreger is all about selling Kreger's products. In contrast to Chapman, Kreger isn't involved in cutting-edge BPD and DBT research. It's not hard to imagine why Kreger sells more books, but it's very hard to imagine that anyone who informs herself or himself about the respective authors would choose to read Kreger over Chapman. Kreger's primary goal is to make money. Chapman's are to advance accurate understandings of BPD and potential treatments.
In sum, if you think you have BPD or know someone who does, now you have more reason than ever to hope that the challenge can be met. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (especially when combined with psychotherapeutic medication) is yielding more success than ever before. Whether you're the BPD person or someone who cares about one, the first step, if you haven't taken it, is to get past the blame. Increasingly, evidence reveals that BPD is hard-wired but treatable. Like all disorders and illnesses, physical and mental (and the mental is physical), all affected by it are victims, including people with BPD and those who love and care about them. Based on current social science, pyschiatric and psychological research, it appears that there is hope and help for all victims of BPD. The tragedy of the "Stop Walking" series is that the books encourage the non-BPD's to seek an "out" and for themselves only, not help and not true resolution of the problem.
More Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder reviews:
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Summary of Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Stop Walking On Eggshells is a self-help guide that helps the family members and friends of individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) understand this self-destructive condition and learn what they can do to cope with it and take care of themselves. It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.Self-Help Books
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