The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love
by Beverly LaHaye, Tim LaHaye
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Book Reviews of The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love
Book Review: Dr. Ruth with a few Bible Verses slapped on
Summary: 1 Stars
My husband and I walked away from this book disgusted. Spousal love is intended to be completely self-giving. Married couples must always be on guard against treating each other's bodies as objects, or using them for purposes other than those for which they were created. Yet this book provided a formula for objectification-husband and wife are reduced to body parts on the page, and the focus is on how to better stimulate each other, reaching greater orgiastic heights through sexual technique and skill. There was no mention of the fact that co-creating a baby with God is one of the most significant and transcendent experiences of our lives.Pleasure has so little to do with technique that I wonder if the couples who write these books are even in communion with each other. I don't love the way my husband makes ME feel or the way he "pleases" ME sexually. I love him, period. I would still love him if he were injured and we could never make love again.
Innocence and communication are the two best things you can bring to your marriage. It's 10 times better to read a down-home anatomy book, with clinical explanations, than these technical how-to mechanics.
Selling 2,500,000 books does not make you wise (Dr. Ruth has sold more books than these guys). Being 60 also does not neccessitate wisdom (watch Barbara Walters on "the View"). After reading the implication that God's primary design for marriage is one perpetual mutual orgasm, the LaHayes lost any credibility of being wise Christian counselors in my estimation.
People will accuse me of being sexually inhibited, because I thought this book was crude.Why is it that when people want to be reticent about private things and guard mysteries, they are accused of being "prudish" or having a filthy view of sex? Notice the way the Song of Solomon veils everything in metaphors. When sex is dragged out into the street, or reduced to explicit anatomical instructions, it does become ugly. I walked away from that book feeling like I was one big (insert female anatomical part) and my husband was one big (insert male anatomical part).
"You cannot examine the coal away from the fire. You can't learn the meaning of a rose by pulling it to pieces." What fun is there if God drops you off on a secret island--your own private garden of Eden--and the LaHayes meet you on the beach with a map of all the best sight-seeing spots?
Book Review: GREAT, GREAT, GREAT book!!
Summary: 5 Stars
This book was SOOOO helpful when my husband and i read it before our wedding! We were raised in church and virgins when we married and had always heard all the "No having sex before you're married" speeches but i didn't realize til we read this book how little positive, Christian perspective we'd been given on the gift of sex other than that the act was designed by God and children are a blessing. i'd heard so many wedding night horror stories from friends and was fairly terrified and confused about why that would be...
i think the reviews that talk about how outdated this book is need to realize how long ago it was written and that maybe some parts weren't helpful to them but after i read it i thought this would be so helpful to all couples no matter how long they'd been married, i think everyone could gain something from reading it. There's probably many couples thinking they know all there is to know because they've been in a married sexual relationship for 40 years or whatever but the value of the chapters(and from a Christian perspective) about how the Lord designed different areas of our body to function is not something you can just learn from experience. And some couples who went into marriage more "experienced" maybe don't realize why they're experiencing some negative residual affects after marriage.
i would just think that one could consider the fact that this dear couple who love the Lord and want to help couples in this area of their marriage and who WERE writing to a certain audience at a certain time, and could read this with a little grace, take the good, disregard what doesn't apply to you personally, and realize that this book has had so many editions printed, it is a classic that HAS helped so many couples and we can REJOICE in that, that is amazing and valuable, i recommend this book whenever the topic comes up and i have personally seen the Lord bless us so much because of what we learned reading this book!
Book Review: Yes, Virginia, there IS such as thing as great Christian sex
Summary: 5 Stars
This explicit and detailed book about sex comes from a Christian perspective (more Evangelical in some areas). It emphasizes how wonderful and enjoyable and RIGHT sex is within marriage. It details what a wedding night could include. There's a whole chapter called "The Art of Lovemaking" that has a number of useful hints as well as explicit direction and some couples' experiences and comments. It addresses emotional, spiritual, and relationship issues as they intersect with sex. It supports having children, yet also supports using birth control in some circumstances to give the couple space to be a couple first or let the wife enjoy sex between desired children. Info is given on what makes men and women tick and how to make sure both enjoy sex as much as possible. Two words for you: Multiple Orgasms! Two words I think may be over emphasized: Simultaneous orgasms.
I don't fully agree with the theology presented in this book (this occurs more in the later portion of the book). I also disagree with the whole idea of different temperments labelled as choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic. That's just not how I see the world, but is used to explain people surprisingly often, at least in the older version I have. However, that does not take away from the extraordinarily useful information presented in a way that keeps the trust of many Christians that have a strong sense morality. For example, you will not find premarital sex, or staying childless, or using pornography to fan the flame presented as normal and acceptable, as you will in many other sources of sexually explicit information.
Book Review: An excellent book overall, but a couple of problems...
Summary: 4 Stars
This important book has plenty of great information for newlywed couples, and I am grateful that it is available as an alternative to the non-Christian and sometimes amoral resources that seem to dominate this topic. But I cannot give it five stars, because some of the information is not adequate. The Birth Control Pill is promoted, although I understand it is sometimes abortifacient. Also, the information regarding Natural Family Planning (this book uses the outdated term "Rhythym") is about 35 years past its time!! I would strongly recommed any reader to do their own research on the above two topics. I would also suggest that Catholic readers investigate Catholic teaching on the morality of birth control on their own, since this book takes a strong "pro" stance which is very different than the Catholic one. I also personally thought that certain historical comments in the book had a rather definite anti-Catholic tone. I am not accusing the LeHayes of being prejudiced against Catholics, but they do seem to have an unjustified antipathy towards the Catholic Church of history- probably because of a strong Protestant bias. The above points having been made, I would still recommend this book for married couples wanting to improve their physical relationship, and for engaged couples as they prepare for this special aspect of their married lives.Book Review: Some Good Advice, but Flawed Theology
Summary: 2 Stars
I borrowed a copy from a friend in preparation for my upcoming marriage, and I was pleasantly surprised at how the LaHayes are frank and left no stone unturned. Good diagrams on the male and female anatomy. Also, their advice on enjoying your spouse to the fullest, throwing modesty out the bedroom door is to be lauded. But what kept me from recommending this book is how their Neo-Evangelical/Arminian theology affected their view on certain sexual techniques. First of all, oral sex is viewed not as an long-practiced supplement to genital sex but an recent innovation that "good spirit-filled Christians" should avoid or cut out. Second, they confused the Rhythm Method with Natural Family Planning that is effective. (At least they recommended use of a condom and spermicide, though I have reservations about their advice to the bride to use the Pill early.) Third: their usual "four temperaments"...you just cannot place people in a box.
And finally, the biggest drawback: They tacked on this evangelical pitch willy-nilly at the end of this book. ....
If only a Lutheran have written this book...but it had to be an Pre-Millenialist Evangelical...*sigh*