The Alphabet of Manliness
by Maddox
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Book Reviews of The Alphabet of Manliness
Book Review: Laying the Ground Work
Summary: 5 Stars
This isn't a book you just order seven of and stand by your mailbox 24/7 waiting for. Sure, you do that, but there are other preparations:
1. Tear up your family bible to clear space on the shelf.
2. Purchase a gorilla suit to wear when you have sex. This book will put so much hair on your chest you might as well start getting her used to it now.
3. Tell any old people you might know not to call you anymore or otherwise attempt contact ever again. Rumor has it that by page 19 you'll be able to kill an old person just by talking to them on the phone. On second thought, you might want to skip this step.
4. Take any aftermarket accessories off your car. You've embarrassed yourself long enough.
5. Get a vasectomy to minimize the risk of children, but realize you'll probably still be able to get a girl pregnant after reading the fist few pages of the book.
Failure to do any of this could result in an unfortunate incident that will most likely include a kick to the throat by a badass pirate.
Book Review: Exactly what it promises to be
Summary: 5 Stars
As a fan of Maddox, I expected this book to be good. But I didn't expect it to be this good. This is some of his best writing, the usual "slow spots" aren't really present here, it's entertaining and hilarious from beginning to end. He brought his A game out for this book.
It is what it promises to be, a view of what it takes to be a man. It should not be taken seriously, but those who do will likely be angry. This book is very offensive, and is a no-holds-barred type of book, that surprisingly went to print.
He holds nothing back here, and slashes and insults without shame. He is not crass or cocky, he is all out offensive. And thats exactly what I was hoping for.
There are parts of this book that will make you laugh out loud all by yourself, and bring you to tears laughing. He says the stuff we all think about but don't want to say. He takes it to the EXTREME with this book.
I would recommend this book, especially to feminists who will likely have a heart attack after reading it.
Book Review: Depends on your sense of humor.
Summary: 5 Stars
Let me first say one thing: if you despise Maddox, if you hate him with every fiber of your being and long for the day when his website will be shut down (never) then don't bother even looking at this book. However, if you are a fan of his site, if you need a crash course in manliness, and if you want to learn how to properly drop kick someone in the face, this book is for you.
This book epitomizes Maddox's famous sense of humor, and does what no other book has done: given manliness a definition. Sure, the definition takes 204 pages, but what's a good book without a challenge? This is without a doubt one of the funniest books I've ever read. My only regret is that I missed the book signing. Even if you don't hate Maddox, this book isn't for everyone. If you've never cussed, made a sexually explicit joke, or if you consider yourself politically correct, you will probably quit after the letter B. However, if you are a fan of Maddox, or if you just want a good laugh, this book is well worth your money. Enjoy!
Book Review: Common sense advice
Summary: 4 Stars
I found this book full of common sense tips and obvious advice, and while providing information to the masses would seem to be the point of such a guide, most of it is either general knowledge or somewhat specialized. For example, the chapter on Heavy Metal would be common knowledge to a metal-head, but not so useful to a reader who will never go to a metal concert. Either you already know what he's talking about or the information doesn't apply. While most of the guide is anecdotal, there is a definite lack of specialized knowledge, calling into question Maddox's professional background. No sources, no references, and pages of data that have to be taken at face value. There are valuable tips found throughout the book, such as filling a candy dish with Midol, but the author glosses over the more technical aspects of some topics, such as how to punch someone in the face or groin without spraining a wrist. An advanced guide would be helpful. Would I recommend someone buy this? I wouldn't know, I downloaded it.Book Review: The Return of Manliness
Summary: 5 Stars
This book has the power to launch a testicular awakening throughout the world. Those without the proper equipment are bound to feel left out. Boo hoo. Go tell Oprah. Sprinkled within the comic-style layout is genuine wisdom. One of my favorite lines goes something like this: "Quick, name two famous female inventors. Too tough? OK, just name one." My sperm count goes up every time I read that.
Thanks to Maddox, bookstores are compelled to offer something other than a thousand variants of "He's Just Not That Into You." After you've re-read Alphabet of Manliness a few hundred times and re-grown your testes, you might ask, "What's next?" I would strongly suggest "The Rantings of a Single Male," a book that uses alphabetical chapters or "rants" to rip apart feminism with diabolical humor. The time is right. The return of manliness is the next big thing. In fact, at times I can no longer contain my manhood. If ya know what I mean. If not, you haven't read chapter "B" of "Alphabet".