The Alto Wore Tweed: A Liturgical Mystery

The Alto Wore Tweed: A Liturgical Mystery
by Mark Schweizer

The Alto Wore Tweed: A Liturgical Mystery
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Book Summary Information

Author: Mark Schweizer
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Published)
Published: 2002-07-01
ISBN: 0972121129
Number of pages: 224
Publisher: St. James Music Press

Book Reviews of The Alto Wore Tweed: A Liturgical Mystery

Book Review: I laughed, I cried...
Summary: 4 Stars

Have you heard the one about the dromedary and the bagpiper? What about the penguin at the manger? I rarely laugh out loud at something I've read, but this book caught me more than a few times. The inflatable sex dolls, God's many vegetables....

One reviewer calls the book misogynist, especially with its "Sophia, milk and honey, Moon Goddess, Wanda" business, but I would have to disagree. The empress can be as naked as the emperor, which makes her fair game. I've been exposed to conferences like that, and their humorless über-earnestness deserves lampooning. It reminds me of the Callahan cartoon of a large, angry woman behind a counter yelling at a rather cowed looking man: "This is a feminist bookstore. There *is* no humor section!"

Yes, the story is a bit thin. But my main objection is to the editing. There are many typos in the book. Why call a town a "berg" rather than a "burg"? Why is the Diet of Worms called the "Diet of Wurms"? Why "Bulwar-Lytton"? Why "coup de gras"? (That one is rather funny in a strange way and may have been intentional, though I doubt it.)

I have been a church musician for many years, and Schweizer has perfect pitch when it comes to liturgical humor and choir jokes. I can't wait to read the rest of his books.

Summary of The Alto Wore Tweed: A Liturgical Mystery

(No. 1 in the Liturgical Mystery series) Hayden Konig is the police chief in the small Appalachian town of St. Germaine, North Carolina. His part-time job, however, is serving as the choir director and organist at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, but heÂ?s also determined to write the next great hard-boiled mystery novel a la Raymond Chandler Â? a liturgical mystery novel with no real plot, but enough bad prose to make the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest look like the Oxford University Press spring catalog.

Chief Konig is also lucky enough to be independently wealthy, which is why he decides that his lack of talent in the writing department can easily be remedied, or at least greatly enhanced, by the purchase of Raymond ChandlerÂ?s 1939 Underwood typewriter. He is sadly mistaken, but the results are uproarious! Even as Hayden works on his opus, he must deal with other, more pressing, problems Â? a new priest at St. Barnabas, a Christmas feud between the Rotarians and the Kiwanians and, more importantly, a dead body in the choir loft. ItÂ?s a good thing that Hayden keeps a loaded Glock under the organ bench!

As Christmas approaches, the tension (and hilarity) rises to a fever pitch. St. Barnabas is introduced to "The Penguin of Bethlehem" and the townÂ?s Nativity feud turns ugly when the KiwanianÂ?s bagpiper spooks the RotarianÂ?s camel. A 12 year old wine snob, hedgehogs, Benny (the world-champion thurifer), church antics, and an episode that is just too good to give away, fill out this mystery that will leave you laughing with every page turn.

Hayden Konig's first mystery Â? The Alto Wore Tweed. It's not what you expect...it's even funnier.

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