The Definitive Book of Body Language
by Allan Pease, Barbara Pease
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Book Reviews of The Definitive Book of Body Language
Book Review: Interesting
Summary: 4 Stars
One of the better psychological influence books I've recently purchased. Excellent insight into interactive persuasion in business and marketing. A very interesting title to say the least. It provides very detailed information and analysis on the full gamut of body language; facial expressions, gestures (hands, feet, torso, arms crossing), head movements, eye contact, postures and stances. For the learning impaired, these are accompanied with illustrations to explain body language explanations quickly. A great deal of the information is intuitive and often things you would never think of. Some of it is pure psychological speculation not backed with any scientific data or experts. All in all, you'll find the contents to be extremely beneficial in any sales career, as you can effectively recognize and decode the nonverbal messages of others. It's uses are as much for selling yourself as well as picking up on what others' body language is telling you.
Additionally you'll find some NLP influence explanations for mirroring people's actions to build rapport. Also, tips on reading people's emotions; flirtation, deceit, confusion, gullibility, excitement, etc. Teaches how to get the advantage in every social interaction.
I wouldn't vault this book up there as a scholarly piece like Robert Cialdini. There's a fair amount of pretty bold claims and leaps to judgment that cannot be backed up. But it is occasionally funny, and easy to glean the intended advice. Excellent analysis on detecting whether people are lying to you...how to be more approachable and likable. Overall an interesting, dry and entertaining read, for effective improvement of your business and marketing influence abilities.
As far as seduction, I'd couple this book with the funny psychological satire The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide - How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho to enhance your subconscious attraction, emotional influence skills, as well as improving your reading and seducing of the ladies.
Book Review: Practival and Entertaining
Summary: 5 Stars
This is a great book - you can open it to any page and find something interesting. Allan and Barbara Pease have presented a book that isolates, examines each component of body language and then explains it with entertaining clarity. This book is full of illustrations, examples and pictures that will help you to more effectively recognize and decode the nonverbal messages of others. Study this book and you will improve your ability to sell, manage, lead, and negotiate. If you want to improve your communication with your spouse, friends, colleagues or members of the opposite sex, this book will give you a leg up.
The book covers a wide range of nonverbal behaviors such as hand gestures, body postures, and eye signals. The section on the thirteen most common gestures is interesting, providing tips on the meaning of different head nods, stances and sitting postures.
If you are looking for tips on how to navigate office politics, you might enjoy their tips on where to sit in meetings, how to use interpersonal space and how to recognize the signals of deceit.
This is by far the most entertaining book on the topic of body language. However, if you are looking for a more scholarly approach to this topic, you might check out Emotions Revealed, Second Edition: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life by Dr. Paul Ekman, who has done more research on this topic than any other living person. Or you might also try Tonya Reiman's The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter, which has fewer illustrations, but offers more male/female contrasts.
Book Review: A book for salesmen, not scientists
Summary: 2 Stars
I became interested in a body language book after hearing about it from my prof in grad school. The title of this book made me think that it was a "definitive" or "complete" book, but it was not.
What's good about this book is that it is written from the perspective of experienced salesmen. That is very good in itself (you're paying to learn from their expertise). They cover common body language signs and explain what they usually mean. They also give practical advise on learning/reading body language for many different kinds of settings (business, dating, etc). In other words, this book is very practical and easy to read. I did learn new things about body language by reading this book. However, it did not cover some things that are important from a more purely psychological or medical point of view (such as psychomotor agitation, etc).
What I hated about this book:
1) It is loaded with questionable scientific information. The experiments were not really experiments, and the authors use scientific names and information like pharm reps would. I noticed use of weasel words and lots of sketchy information to "sell" their ideas. That is what made me lower my rating the most. It cheapened the feel of the book and made the reading less enjoyable. (-2 stars)
2) It contains extraneous information, such as sections on why laughing is good for your health. I also got annoyed at how much of the beginning of the book was dedicated to scientific information when none of them are clearly qualified or well-informed on the subject.
3) It is ultimately NOT a book that's purely on body language. Read it and you'll see why. They should add a subtitle or change the title. (-1 star)
Book Review: Secrets of non-verbal communication
Summary: 4 Stars
If you read a lot of business books, this one is must have in your repertoire. It is a combination of lessons on manners, subconscious mind and communication. If anything, one will learn what is it that makes men and women different in the workplace and social gatherings, how to "read" people's reactions based on their body language and there are even helpful hints on how to diffuse conflict, uncertainty, or fend contempt from co-workers and superiors. One will learn good sales and negotiation tricks that are helpful during interview process, or office politics and power play. For well rounded business person, this book is a must have. Add to it work on NLP, emotional intelligence and business ethics and one can conquer it all. While some may find this book to be a tool on teaching manipulation, others will find it to be a useful too on staying ahead of the game. The only disagreement I have with the authors is in reference to the use of cell phone during interview process. I totally disagree that it is acceptable to act "busy and important" during interview process regardless if one is in the waiting area or in the room with the person interviewing them. If person interviewing you would rather take a phone call than listen to what you have to say during scheduled interview time, it is a sign that your interview is either not going well or you have lost the game already to another candidate. Why get more vulgar and add oil to the fire by making or receiving cell phone call. Your cell phone should be off (or in your car) while you are in the interview room. I am sure that any career coach or human resources professional will agree with me on this point.Book Review: Great book!
Summary: 5 Stars
I agree that this THE "definitive" book on body language. I have read many books on the subject---for no other reason than I find it fascinating--and this book is the best, in my opinion.
Pros: All body signal are covered---soup to nuts. They also explain the theory behind each gesture, which really makes you think, "Ahh . . . that makes complete sense." You are taught how to read body movements in clusters, which is quite different than a single gesture. Things are put into context, which I feel is very important to driving home a point. I like the fact that when they explain a certain gesture someone makes, not only do they explain what the gesture means, but they also provide advice for dealing with it. e.g. What you should do when closes their eyes for long "blinks" when talking with you, with their hands on their hips. Additionally, they provide little "tests" for you to conduct with other (unknowing) people to really understand what you are reading is true. Finally, the book does use a lot of examples that are geared toward business relationships.
Cons: I found the section on courtship displays a little dry. I guess it is because I am a middle-aged, married man with kids, and at this point in life care little about courtships. ;-) They also have a section on "props" and what they really mean (glasses, cigarettes, etc.) that I found somewhat boring.
All in all I give this five stars. Regardless if you are new to learning body language or (more importantly) if you are fairly adept and want to learn more---this book is for you!