The Five Love Languages of Children
by Gary D. Chapman, Ross Campbell, Ross Campbell MD
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Book Reviews of The Five Love Languages of Children
Book Review: I'll admit I was skeptical
Summary: 4 Stars
Ordinarily, the follow-on books are kind of flat. The Elizabeth George "After God's Own Heart" books seemed this way, although the first one, "A Woman After God's Own Heart" was excellent.
I was expecting the same sort of flatness from this book. I found a lot to apply in the original Love Languages book, and I'm still sneaking it into my marriage. It's one thing to tell your Quality-Time husband that you are a TOUCH wife, and a whole different thing to gently convince him to touch touch touch touch touch touch. It has brought me to a whole new level of positive reinforcement.
So I figured this one for kids would be a couple of hundred pages of telling parents that kids need *every* love language. And indeed, there was some of that.
But the book was full of clues for how to recognize your child's love language, how it may change over time, and how to communicate.
The book offered a lot. I thought the chapters on conflict were very worthwhile, and even on how to discipline in the different love languages. My kids are so different that I needed all the pointers I could get. And surprise -- thinking about love languages across generations has helped me communicate better with my parents, too -- off to a good start, anyway.
I read this 6 months ago. My eldest started talking more, to me and to other people, NOTICEABLY more, and it's bringing me some relief from one of my biggest parenting worries -- how remote this child has been. That has been the biggest and most immediate change in our family recently, and I can trace it to this book.
I would recommend you read the first Love Languages book first, and then this one to think specifically about your kids.
Oh, and for moms, definitely read A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George. It's family-enhancing.
Book Review: One Of The VERY BEST Parenting Books Around!!!
Summary: 5 Stars
I read this book to try and get some ideas to help us deal with our three year old who was having a "difficult phase". I'd read over a dozen other "discipline" books and all of them were useless [except "Playful Parenting", which was also fantastic]. Thank Goodness I found this one! It was *tremendously* helpful! I can't recommend this book enough - the 5 love languages WORK - reading this book has truly helped me become a better mother and has had an extremely beneficial impact on my daughter's behavior and our relationship. While this book is recommended more for older children, I think ANY parent could benefit from reading and implementing the ideas. Using the suggestions in the book to ensure that your child is receiving the love s/he needs will help build a better relationship no matter what the child's age or the parental circumstances.
The only complaint I had about the book was the chapter towards the end on "anger" - it is very poorly written and terribly confusing. I'm still not sure what the heck it was supposed to be about. But with that brief exception, this is a PHENOMENAL book that has the power to help you vastly improve your relationship with your child/ren.
I also recommend "The Five Love Languages" [for couples] too - a strong relationship with your partner is a precious gift for your child/ren. This book was GREAT for our marriage! Our happy family owes Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell a HUGE Thank You!
Book Review: Wish I had read it earlier - a must for any Dad (or parent)
Summary: 5 Stars
I thought I was a pretty good Dad with my first child and things were going great. My second child - a boy this time - I was having a really hard time with once he turned two. And, he was starting to have issues acting out in daycare when he never did before (he's usually a giving/caring boy). I kept thinking that he just needs to change and be (insert word here).
It occurred to me that while I may not be loving him enough or the right way. I had read the book for couples many years ago and it worked wonders for my relationship then, so figured what do I have to lose?
I cried reading this book - I realized that trying to discipline him the way I had been was completely wrong and backfiring. That day I resolved to keep his love tank full, and love him the way he wants to be loved.
As I'm sure many others can testify, his behaviour changed almost immediately for the better. All the incidents at school stopped completely and he and I now have a very caring relationship. He follows directions, shares, and we laugh a lot now.
I urge anyone who is having relationship issues with their children - especially us Dad's who are schooled to be stoic - to read this book and learn from it, else suffer with having a child who acts out and doesn't really like you.
In short - I really wish I had read it sooner - would have avoided 6 months of heartache.
Book Review: Don't miss the point
Summary: 5 Stars
Many parents may read this book and assume that you ought to discover your child's love language, and then he/she will grow up happy and feeling well-loved. I do not think that is all that Chapman is saying with this incredible book, instead, he is pointing out that many children feel unloved by parents who truly DO love them because their parents are not being sensitive to their primary love language. ADDITIONALLY, the main conclusion I came to upon finishing this must-have title was that children ought to be loved with ALL of the love languages so that they will grow up able to show love to others regardless of the love language one speaks. If I truly value my child, I will want him not only to know I love him, but I'll also want him be able to show love to others. This book spurred me on to teaching one of my classes of 2nd-6th graders how to show love in these different ways, and to evaluate others around them. It has also made me more sensitive to physically clingy children (perhaps not getting the physical touch they need), as well as children who are constantly trying to get attention. I advise teachers of any aged children to read this title. It will change the way you view your class forever.Book Review: Adds another dimension to communicating effectively
Summary: 5 Stars
This outstanding book addresses how each child (adults as well) expresses and receives love best through one of five primary "languages" - quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. Although children need to be spoken to in each of these love languages, there's one love language that meets their deepest emotional needs and should be used often with them (and authors caution how you use that language for discipline). The information in this book complements books that address communicating with children based on their temperament (such as "Raising your Spirited Child" and "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka). I also appreciate that the author included an informative chapter on "love languages in marriage", instead of just a one-liner encouraging readers to buy his book dedicated to that subject. Bottom line - Even if you've read tons of parenting books, you will truly learn something new from this one - something to enhance your relationship with your child and adults in your life. You'll probably even learn something about yourself.