The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
by Suzette H Elgin
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Book Summary Information
Author: Suzette H ElginEdition: Hardcover
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 1985-06
ISBN: 0880290307
Number of pages: 310
Publisher: Dorset House Publishing Co Inc
Book Reviews of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
Book Review: basic advice anyone can use
Summary: 3 Stars
This book has been in print for a long time, and there are good reasons for that. Interpersonal relations do not change dramatically; conflict with others will always be with us, and we may as well be as prepared as practical to deal with those who would snipe, complain, blame, and otherwise verbally abuse us or others.
This book clearly lays out several common modes of verbal abuse; any reader will have been exposed to pretty much all of them before. They are categorized, analyzed, and dissected for hidden and potentially hidden meanings, allowing the reader to identify what part of the whole constitutes the attack, the sharp end, of a comment. The author then offers a number of suggestions on potentially effective counters, which usually involve ignoring the bait of an attack and instead focusing on the underlying presupposition folded into the comment. She builds up some short confrontation conversations, and encourages the reader to both practice building up new ones, as well as to keep a journal regarding comments heard and potential responses over time.
The advice seems fair enough so far as it goes; generally the idea is to defuse the attack so as to eventually allow both sides to address honestly any underlying problem. No doubt this book could be expanded to cover far more potential situations in far greater detail; for a primer, though, this will do fine. The author also touches on rhetorical skills in conversations, charisma, body language, power relationships (students, patient-doctor, etc), as well as including one chapter each as pertain to women and men.
It's a short read that will be of use primarily to the verbally under-skilled in allowing them to identify first why they seem to feel picked on; second, why they often seem to feel they have lost any verbal disagreement and don't know why; and third, to allow the resolution by honest dealings of actual problems once the verbal abuse has been rechanneled into a productive exchange of views.
Summary of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
humorous look at defending yourself verballyPsychology & Counseling Books
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