The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence
by Gavin de Becker
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Book Reviews of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence
Book Review: Fantastic content and presentation
Summary: 5 Stars
It's obvious that De Becker has exceptional intelligence and excels at whatever he does, simply from the skill with which he wrote this book. I especially like how he didn't mince words, led clearly from the topic of one chapter to another, and repeated over and over in different ways the central concepts of his book.
I do agree with previous reviewers' criticisms, such as his dubious statistics, his peculiarly nameless name-dropping (a famous film and recording star who was not only his client but a dear friend..?), and somewhat critical stance on guns. But come on people. Gavin de Becker is not going to take away your right to bear arms.
But the main premise of this book, listen to that intuitive fear signal and don't say, 'oh it's probably nothing,' is fantastic. Also, why have I never seen the main elements of a con drawn out so clearly? Forced teaming, too many details, charm, etc... this was very valuable to me, as was the opportunity to understand acts of violence from a point of view of prevention instead of the insane point of view that the news media takes. Also I loved his criticism of the media, concrete evidence of how ridiculous most news stories are, and suggestion that we all take a break from the evening news. I've been taking that break for about 10 years now. Thanks Mr. De Becker!
Book Review: Anger is a Gift, Too
Summary: 5 Stars
I liked this book a lot, not just because of the author's insights, but because it confronts and distinguishes between fear, anxiety, worry, perception, and gut instinct. All are important, but anxiety and worry are destructive. This book tells how to unshackle yourself from these destructive behaviors, and how to harness the constructive gifts of fear, perception, and instinct.
As a woman who has taken a whole lot of self defense classes (both psychololgically and physically based), I can tell you one thing they all share with this book: Don't act like a victim. If you act cowed- walking with head down, hood up, and keys out- you look like a good target. Predators attack those that appear weak. This book explains how regain confidence by listening to yourself, which in turn becomes a doubly protective mechanism.
In closing, I read through the one star reviews, and they all seem to have an axe to grind because DeBecker doesn't advocate owning a gun as a means of protection. While I don't think this makes the author anti-gun, I do think it's important for people like me, who are NOT comfortable owning a gun, to have resources other than, "buy a handgun and learn to shoot it". That, after all, would make an awfully short and (for me at least) unuseful book.
Book Review: Anti-intellectual populist disproves himself.
Summary: 2 Stars
It'd be nice if everybody could defend themselves, that we could see the signs of danger and deal with them appropriately, and that's the promise of the book, and that's a promise it fails to deliver. The author does not recognize the importance hindsight plays in many of his stories. We don't and can't process all incoming information because either we don't have the expertise to recognize their significance (it took this author to tell these stories correctly!) or because only subsequent events can tell us what they mean. Or because like other kinds of intuition our usual behavior works most of the time and the exceptions serve only to inform us of the rules. That this book completely misses these points can easily mislead readers to blame crime victims. An early assertion in the book--that technology won't save us--is disproved by the story of the celebrity stalker, who was apprehended following a cross-state computer lookup.
Sure, there are things we can do to better protect ourselves and to limit our exposure to dangerous people, but these are lessons that can be drawn without worshipping intuition. I fear that readers of this book will draw the wrong conclusions even though some of its example cases are right on the mark.
Book Review: Fear and Intuition
Summary: 1 Stars
Yes, I agree that I should trust my intuition. Having lived through and learned from a number of traumatic experiences, I have learned to trust the kind of electrical buzz that surges through me at times. It is fear, yes. I can listen to it or I can use my intellect to discount it. A lot of the times when I discounted it, I got into trouble. What I am sensing is that something is not quite right or that the setup, the circumstances, are putting me into a position that I have to trust the individual more than I would like. I think that this is a nice person. I think that my electrical surge feeling is just unfortunate garbage from my past. Every time I discount it, I get into trouble and I loose something. The Gift of Fear is correct. Trust your intuitions. People who have been hurt in the past have a better set of intuitions. People who have not been hurt feel silly to trust the intuition. Intuition and common sense are God given. Say thank you and use these gifts. In a sense I like this book but on the other hand I feel it is creating fear. Maybe I would like to say that everyone should trust their intuition but not consider it fear. It is a gift from God, a legacy from our mothers but it is not a curse.Book Review: A fascinating journey into our own survival
Summary: 5 Stars
I was amazed at the impact of this book. Although deBecker tends to sometimes stray into stroking his own ego with fabulous celebrity clients (somewhat a la John Douglas), those were the only weaknesses in an otherwise magnificent book about survival. This book did more than just inform me; it provided me with the key knowledge that my instincts to survive have been what's saved me. I'd always thought I had escaped danger because of quirks of fate, but deBecker shows that we escape danger when we listen to our own inner voices. deBecker shows us all how to listen to our own intuition......and gives fantastic survival examples in the process. I'd highly recommend this book, particularly because deBecker gives hard, concrete examples from which we can truly learn, rather than esoteric discussions which leave us wondering, "How do I do it?" deBecker gives us this information in black-and-white, and in examples that are easily understood and easily followed. I don't, however, mean to make this book sound simplistic. DeBecker's writing style is excellent. In many ways, this book reads like a true crime survival novel....but, in fact, the survival we're reading and learning about is our own.