The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death.
by Gene Weingarten

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Summary of The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death.

You have a headache. What do you do?

Take an aspirin.

Take an aspirin, but make sure your will is in order.

Swallow any household poison available, Such as Clorox or Liquid-Plumr, in the faint hope that there is still time to kill the worms, since you know that a headache is sometimes a sign of cysticercosis, a parasitic disease in which the brain is invaded by the larva of the intestinal tapeworm, Taenia solium, which can grow to twenty feet long and has teeth.

The best reason to get a dog is:

A dog is a great friend.

A dog is a great source of goofy entertainment when you are not feeling well.

A dog is a great food taster. If he doesn't die, you're safe.

When you watch ER, you are mostto the fear for one's soul: terrifying, humbling, and, in a strange sort of way, comforting.

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