The Pocket Parent
by Caroline Winkler, Gail Reichlin
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Book Summary Information
Author: Caroline Winkler, Gail ReichlinEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2001-10
ISBN: 076112182X
Number of pages: 379
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
Product features:
- ISBN13: 9780761121824
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Book Reviews of The Pocket Parent
Book Review: Positive Discipline Requires Adults to Think Before They Act
Summary: 5 Stars
I totally agree with the internationally recognized and respected author of "The Difficult Child", Dr Stanley Turecki, regarding his endorsement on the back of this very easy to read discipline guide...that "The Pocket Parent" is not only filled with hundreds of practical specific strategies to try immediately in the heat of the moment, but that the authors offer "depth" towards long term understanding regarding "the why's" of children's behavior problems and how to solve them.
Before I read this book, I thought that punishment on the spot was the only way you stay "in charge" as an adult while getting children to pay their dues for their bad behavior....and it wasn't working most of the time with my 3 and 6 year old sons. In fact, when I tried the Supernanny's technique of placing my tantruming toddler on "The Naughty Stool" I did not get any remorse at all from the child but instead I got only revenge and resentment (I couldn't even get my sreaming, punching, arched-back toddler to bend at the waist to sit on the chair at all for the prescribed 3 minutes!) I felt like my son won and I was a failure as the disciplinarian... and I am NOT a wimpy, permissive parent.
"The Pocket Parent" makes so much sense. It does NOT suggest parents "give in" to their children...although it does suggest that we have to choose our battles. I was aware that I can't fight them all in the heat of the moment, but with the guidance of this book, I realized that does not mean that we should forget to address the lesson of the situation later. "Pocket Parent" teaches that discipline is a PROCESS and parents and other childcare professionals have many daily opportunities to discipline (defined as TEACHING not punishing) both in the heat of the moment (to stop the undesirable or dangerous behavior) and then OUTSIDE the heat of the moment to CONTINUE teaching the lesson again and again, including making a plan for success (often with the input of the child) to avoid the same misbehavior from happening in a similar situation. I learned that many of the most "teachable discipline moments" occur when the adult and the child are calm and able to communicate...talk AND listen to each other more effectively.
For example, as suggested in this book, I found that by taking a few minutes BEFORE we leave our house to PRACTICE the proper manners I'm after when we get to my neighbor's, I got the cooperation. We practiced specifically 2 things... 1) the words we use to respectfully greet adults and other children and 2) how my son could politely get my attention without any words (like screaming "excuse me" repeatedly while pounding on my hip)...just by using a signal we agreed upon and practiced (also from the book)...in this case, gently pulling on my little finger to get the attention that he needed to tell me something important as soon as I stopped talking to the other mommy (he decided which hand he would use). Prioritizing the time to make "a plan for success" was the most helpful positive discipline technique I learned from this book. And it is something you can do outside the heat of the moment of a misbehavior.
The second most important strategy I learned is that we as caring, well-meaning parents and caregivers tend to tell children too often what they can't do and not enough of the time what they CAN do. This bit of advice has also made an amazing difference in gaining cooperation from my children.
IF YOU WISH TO RAISE A CHILD WHO WILL (OVER TIME) LEARN HOW TO CONTROL HIS OWN IMPULSES BECAUSE HE HIMSELF WANTS TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT, IS ABLE TO NEGOTIATE AND SOLVE POBLEMS, AND HAS DEVELOPED EMPATHY FOR OTHERS, THIS BOOK IS A MUST...SENSIBLE ADVICE THAT LAYS THE FOUNDATION IN THE EARLY YEARS TOWARDS EFFECTIVE, CARING COMMUNICATION BETWEEN ADULT AND CHILD WHICH IS THE KEY TO SOLVING ALL PROBLEMS AND BECOMING A SENSTATIVE, EMPATHETIC HUMAN BEING.
NOT RECOMMENDED FOR PARENTS OR CHILDCARE PROFESSIONALS WHO DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE ENERGY AND TIME NECESSARY TO CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR FIRST IN ORDER TO GET A CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR OF THE CHILD...POSITIVE DISCIPLINE DOES TAKE THOUGHT AND DETERMINATION ON THE PART OF THE ADULT WHILE MAINTAINING THE DIGNITY OF ALL INVOLVED...WELL WORTH THE EFFORT IN OUR HOUSE!
WE ARE PLEASED THAT WE ARE GETTING MORE COOPERATION WITHOUT RESORTING TO SOME MORE AUTOMATIC TACTICS SUCH AS FEAR, GUILT, AND HUMILIATION WHICH CAN ALSO BRING ADULTS COMPLIANCE FROM THE CHILDREN.
Summary of The Pocket Parent
It's instant relief for when your 2-year-old is on the floor of the toy store, pitching a fit. Or when brother and sister discover that they can't stand each other. Or when your son can't say no to video games.THE POCKET PARENT is, literally, a pocket-size book of tried-and-true advice, common sense, parental wisdom, and sanity. Written by two professionals who've reared six children between them and made a career out of helping others with parenting issues, this handy book will be a lifesaver for every parent of a 2-to-5-year-old. It begins with an overall view of the Pocket Parent approach to discipline. Based on unconditional love but firm limits, and aimed at keeping the child's dignity and self-esteem intact, here are strategies that include "I" statements, modeling, family meetings, and "one word" requests. Once the ground rules are set, the guide moves to an A-to-Z compendium of common problems. Just look it up-Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Chores, Doctor Visits, Fears at Night, Lying, Separation Anxiety-and find the "Sanity Savers" list of suggestions, easy-to-follow bullets, anecdotes, and more.
For the bag, glove compartment, backpack, or shelf in the kitchen, it's there for you whenever you need it.
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