The Sociopath Next Door
by Martha Stout
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Book Reviews of The Sociopath Next Door
Book Review: The evil among us...
Summary: 4 Stars
This text is a lucid study of those individuals who seem to be born without a moral conscience, and as Stout elegantly points out throughout this narrative, one in twenty-five Americans are considered sociopath, causing havoc, heartache, destroyed careers, and the death of many people either directly or indirectly.
The single argument in this highly accessible thesis, the one that is down-right astonishing, (though not so after reading the reasons why) is that most of us "instinctively" know when there is a sociopath in our midst, but more often refuse to intellectually or rationally call them for what they are...why? The reason is that we would prefer to believe that the human being is fundamentally good, and pure evil is something rare or something beyond our day to day reality. On the contrary, there are people who move through their lives without a hint of guilt for their acts of harm.
The sociopath's motivation is ultimately selfish and life for them is one big game, a contest about winning at any cost. This is a frightening notion, but after reading this book, you will more than likely recognize someone in your past or currently in your life that has all the characteristics of a sociopath, and come to understand how and why your life is not the way it should be going and the reason for your general unhappiness.
Martha Stout's "composite" case histories are enlightening as she presents us with varied `types' of sociopaths from the homicidal & verbally abusive to the dead beat and covert destroyer of many lives.
One of the more interesting sociopath profiles is the case of "Dr." Doreen Littlefield, a psychologist working at a reputable hospital. Doreen isn't beautiful but has a good body and uses it to her advantage. She is the type of sociopath with a highly covetous nature, willing to annihilate any person that has some thing she doesn't have and desires. Manipulative, dishonest and cunning, Dr. Littlefield interferes with another doctor's handsome patient because the patient is good looking and her colleague is one of the star psychologists on staff. She deliberately caves the patient in, sending him off to the padded cell to simply make her fellow psychologist look bad. Other deceptions, of course, are planted carefully in order to hide her tracks. However, in the end, it is truly shocking that a person would engage in such immoral behaviour without feeling a shed of guilt.
Plainly stated and argued gracefully, the sociopath does not possess an aspect which most people have that make us legitimately human, and that is an actualized conscience - a voice, a feeling that guides us to do the right action, and not hurt our fellow human beings...
What is also extremely helpful is the chapter "Thirteen Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths in Everyday Life."
The Sociopath Next Door is a text for just about anyone interested in how evil, real evil operates and how to deal with them.
Book Review: Naysayers didn't get it.
Summary: 4 Stars
Sometimes, it is useful to go directly to a couple of 5-star, then 1-star reviews. I have some background in the psych field, and a graduate degree, so critical thinking is rather routine for me, and it is interesting to see how others received it. My friend loaned me this book, and her boyfriend loaned it to her. I have now recommended it to a couple of people I care about who may be in contact with a like situation.
In business school, we had a discussion more than once on what characteristics makes for a great leader. It would surprise most to find that of the Fortune 500 CEO's, a far greater number are sociopathic than the average for the US population. It also applies to many other positions of power throughout society. A sociopath is not, by itself an evil thing. People are in fact capable of adherence to a good moral code, without personal emotional connection, and they demonstrate this all the time.
Having said all that, those who judged this book 1-star either read only reviews, or cannot actually summarize the intent and content of this book. It is certainly not junk, but its message can be misapplied left and right. One need not be a Nazi or a freak to abuse the concepts contained in Ms. Stout's work. I think the purpose of this book is really to inform people who have had some contact with people who are sociopathic AND destructive. I would like for her to have started with a simple disclaimer: a little bit of knowledge can be more dangerous than none at all. DO NOT read these abnormalities into everyone you dislike, have some conflict with or lost out to. Disagreeable people are not necessarily messed up in this manner.
As for this book being "garbage" (1 reviewer said so), I must point out that the DSM-IV spells out very clearly this and many other personality disorders and illnesses. The statistic of 4% is drawn from a long history of academic research and government data, including many well respected efforts of the military agencies that study civilian populations (PsyOps, for one). You will find (should you care to research it) that several other disorders have similar distributions in our society; some are very destructive and follow a very predictable pathology or have very clear etiology.
I found this to be a very well written discussion , although I was a bit put off by the appeal to paranoia. Sadly, some will see it as the ultimate guide to those we dislike, fear or have been harmed by. That, it is not. Most important, I think, is that labels are dangerous. One who is truly sociopathic can be very toxic. However, many more people have 1, 2 or 3 traits and are not, by definition sociopathic. They are just lousy human beings. One man I know fits the definition, but loves and cares for animals. He, and many other such crummy people are just misanthropists.
Take this book under advisement and use some of its guidance to your betterment; do not elevate it to a religion, or let its message become your very own illness.
Book Review: The Sociopath Next Door
Summary: 5 Stars
If you have social relationship with an individual who : (1) can charm just about anybody, (2) seems to have no conscience, (3) is extremely deceptive and has no sense of shame, (4) seems to be at least double faced if not multi-faced (5) experiences extreme boredom and is constantly seeking stimulation, (6) literally uses people and seems to have a sense of entitlement, (7) covertly manipulates others without any guilt, (8) views every life situation as a contest that must be won, (9) experiences pangs of envy (10 ) uses eyes to control others, (11) has a sense of self grandiosity, (12) often makes double conflicting statements, (13) never takes responsibility for his/her actions, (14) and projects his/her own flaws, thinking, feelings, and behaviors onto others; you must read this book. These are the attributes and behaviors of sociopaths. The author Stout (2005) ascertains that a significant number of people in American society are sociopaths in secret. In other words, they have anti-social personality disorder but folks around them are usually not aware of this. Sociopaths do not have well developed human lives. Since they are born with defective amygdala, the emotional center of brain, they do not feel empathy and compassion for others. They are incapable of human attachment, love, care, and affection. They are great actors and can with ease fake any emotion. The pathological lying, the acts of deception and duping are a source of fun for them. They are predators, always on the look out for targets who are decent, trusting, and giving so that they can suck them dry. They aggressively endeavor to damage positive human traits of their targets. They mount psychological attacks on their targets and feel powerful by diminishing them. Being natural actors, sociopaths make full use of their social and professional roles which offer excellent ready-made masks that are rarely cracked. The author illustrates sociopathic behaviors by discussing case studies of real life sociopaths. She emphasizes that it is only the less educated and the unsuccessful sociopaths who are behind bars, the rest are thriving amongst us as coworkers, bosses, friends, and family members. The reading of this book will help you identify these vampires. The only way you can protect yourself from a sociopath in your life is to completely sever all ties with the sociopath which is not always easy. The author concludes by stating that she votes for those with conscience, those who care and love, those who believe hurting, manipulating, and deceiving others is morally wrong. They are elite of their own. For additional resources on sociopaths you might visit website, Studies in Psychopathy-[...]. The terms sociopath and psychopath are often used interchangeably.Book Review: this book should come in a party favour edition!
Summary: 5 Stars
Finally a book that backs me up!!
If I were wealthy, I would buy a stockpile of these books to keep in the trunk of my car, and pass them out to people I meet.
Because at least a few times a year, sometimes more, I come across people who continually put their head on the chopping block for some clearly nefarious individual who, for some reason, they seem to think is "nice", even though a lot of us are standing around saying, "ew, this guy is a creep" or "this woman is bad news", and the person is still there with their head on the block defending the jerk, and trying to "get through to" the 'ner dowell, thinking this "time s/he will change! this time s/he will do right by me!"
When of course, the cause is hopeless... if you understand that some people just cannot change, don't want to change, don't see a reason to change... And perhaps most importantly, have no reason to change, because there's always another person who's determined to believe all people are good, ready & seemingly willing to be used, over & over again.
And here is my source material now. Yes, there are people who are just not good, not kind, and are, in fact, probably INCAPABLE of being normal compassionate humans.
I'm not being cold-hearted because I believe this. I'm being realistic!
ACCEPT IT, it's TRUE.
And the advice this book gives for dealing with them is the only sound advice that has a chance at being successful.
If you're like many of the kind-hearted but tortured people I've known who just keep going back for more crap from some jerk... Read this book IMMEDIATELY.
Or you're like me, and seem to know a lot of those kind-hearted people... And find yourself trying to help them pick up the pieces every time some jerk does them wrong... repeatedly.
Read this book, and then instead of lending a hand, lend them this book.
Scientific analysis & theory information included, but it's an easy read, in plain English.
In a social aspect, I think it would be interesting even for someone who has read psychology texts. It explains things in a day-to-day regular life setting that psychology texts fail to touch upon.
Even if you've never had a problem with a sociopath personally, you might find yourself at least vindicated in understanding that the reason you shy away and feel repulsed by some people, even while others feel sorry for them, can be good & healthy, and that there's nothing wrong or cold-hearted about you!
Another big vindicating & validating book for me was "The Gift of Fear". I highly recommend both books.
Book Review: This book is essential reading for everyone who wish to protect themselves from those predators
Summary: 5 Stars
Before reading the final pages of the book, I was sure that the idea that psychopaths are NOT like most of other people was pretty much "accepted" in my mind. I was sure that I "understood" it intellectually, even if I did not "believe" it 100% yet. Well, somehow, those few final pages organized everything in my mind, and the realization is profound and shocking: psychopaths ARE different.
Imagine a very strange and lazy person sitting near an ant hill. He has been sitting there for a very long time and is extremely bored (too lazy to get up and go somewhere else). He takes a small tree branch and sticks it into the middle of the ant hill and thinks: "Oh, cool! Those tiny creatures started to move. Not boring! Lets see what will happen if I do this", and he disrupts the hill structure a little bit more. "Oh, this is just great! All this action, and I am the one who controls it. Definitely not boring. What a great way to spend time". And he continues to play with the ants, each time inventing new ways to torture them and entertain himself. After a while all the ants are either dead or have left the place. It is boring again.
Luckily for this person, some tourists just happen to be in the area, and this strange person decides to see if he can play with them as with the ants. Apparently it is so easy, they don't have a clue! Not boring again.
And this in fact is what is happening. We are those ants, at the mercy of strange bored creatures, who are not able to grasp the thing called "emotion" or "conscience" or "empathy". This is who they are - soulless game masters. We cannot outsmart them in direct confrontation, because all their thinking capabilities go into calculating and analyzing our natures - we just will make them more thrilled from an opportunity to play the game with engaging ants. But we can fight them still, by learning their natures and avoiding being their "ants" - learning not to play the game. We must learn how to be above the game, a concept that they simply cannot grasp.
Maybe that is why psychopaths have an ability to "sense" wounded souls, people who were hurt in childhood and are generally more susceptible to manipulation. They are much more fun than "healthy" ants! Every tiny suggestion creates chaos in a wounded mind, they can be shaped so easily a rich source of "fun".