The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
by David Deida
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Book Reviews of The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
Book Review: The Wonderful Truth that Biological Roles Still Rule
Summary: 5 Stars
I ripped through this book in a few hours; I just could not put it down.
David Deida is the first person I've ever heard so honestly identify and poetically communicate the true nature of the male/female relationship. For women who grew up in the 70's over developing accomplishment, intelligence and independence and woke up one day realizing they were actually craving more traditional roles, this book beautifully describes why that is so.
This book was recommended to me by some highly evolved people and after reading it, I can see why. Deida connects spiritual purpose as the basis of relationship fulfillment and that women -- especially the strong ones -- want nothing more than a man to be masculine enough to live his life "guided by (his) deepest truths, not (his) untended childhood wounds."
It is astounding the full circle our society has made from discrimination to the dawning of equal rights and now a swing back to traditional roles. Deida exquisitely explains how the biological roles operate now, however, with an all-pervading self awareness of a man's true spiritual nature which creates his "purpose" and becomes the driver of his human relationships. Bravo!
Deida reiterates the concept of "freedom" being so important for a man. On the surface, this could be a scary concept for an un-evolved woman to hear, but I found it fascinating how he discusses this as a deepening of integrity, celebration of masculinity and even goes so far as to describe it as the ultimate release of the human ego from the spiritual self. He teaches men to recognize their truest nature, part of which he describes as "build up and release" and metaphorically explains how this connects to sexual prowess, work, relationship and self understanding.
This is not some "airy fairy" stuff, it is real world, real gender issue-based observation that takes the popular "Men are from Mars: Women from Venus" concept to the 10th power.
Deida talks about the "polarity" of the male and feminine and I can see this is indeed the secret to the most deeply fulfilling relationships. In my mind, this book illuminates why the "feminization of men," served up so vehemently in the 1960's and 1970's, has been so damaging to relationships today. I thought I was one of the only crazy women who advocates men reclaiming their masculinity. Deida explains how a return to masculinity is not a reckless return to the Lazy-Boy-In-The-Garage-With-A-Beer-And-Football-Game brand of machismo, but a doorway to being a connected, natural and aware male who recognizes his gifts and that of his female companion as different, complementary, yet ultimately the same. There is nothing better than a man who has the unshakable maleness to see through my female emotionality and love me despite it. Deida discusses how this happens in utter detail.
Grateful for these insights.
Book Review: Improved my marriage and made me like my wife again.
Summary: 5 Stars
This book is incredible for relationships. My synopsis is that a man should not behave like a PC wimp and try to understand women in the modern effeminate sense, but to behave as men always have, and that is to act in the modern term of a caveman. Don't try to psycho-analyze your wife. Just be a man.
I bought this book because my wife would become irrational and be mad at me randomly and I did not understand why. When she would be mad at me, I thought I could fix it, but what she said was not the issue she was mad at me, it was another unrelated issue. I was teetering on a point of divorcing her, and she likely wanted to also divorce me. I would try to fix her problems using logic and try to ask her why she was upset. This would only increase her anger and irrationality. I read this book and discovered that I didn't understand her, but with this book, I knew how to understand her. After reading this book and implementing it, I experienced a complete change within our marriage. It made our relationship better.
I received this book and read it cover to cover that night. Some of the scenarios he described in this book felt like he had been listening to the arguments between us. I immediately began to use his suggestions and observations and it worked. I learned that when my wife is on one of her illogical anger streaks, that instead of previously trying to talk to her, ask her about her problems, ask if I could help, ask what is wrong with her - all of my prior actions which only worsened her anger, it works out better to just listen to her, then completely ignore her because I am only messing with dynamite and am only hurting myself. This advice from the book has given me so much happiness because the next day my wife is so loving. Prior to this book, she still resented me the next day.
Two weeks after using the ideas in this book, my wife told me that she loves the new me and doesn't want the old me to ever come back. Mr. Deida in his book, describes how a man thinks logically, and tries to fix the problems with their wife using logic, as they would fix any problems in their lives normally using logical steps. This doesn't work with women. The scenarios in his book exactly described our problems, and the results of using his techniques/approach have made my marriage from a rocky one, into a solid marriage.
I would suggest this book to any man that is having problems in their relationship, or their partners are blowing up at small things that seem insignificant, but are representing completely different issues. It helped me immensely, and it also helped my wife begin to respect me much more, though she doesn't understand why. And that too, is explained in the book.
Book Review: Perilous Concepts for the Modern Workplace
Summary: 2 Stars
Obviously, I am not the ideal target audience for this book.
This book was recommended to me by a friend. I found it a confronting and difficult read. That said; it did seem to explain some of the unfortunate dynamics that I have witnessed between men and women in the boardroom.
Deida starts from the contention that men and women are vastly different. This shouldn't be a difficult idea to defend. However, when descriptions of the feminine character seem to include notions of mindless vacillation it is hard for a woman who has earned a place in the higher echelons of business to sympathise with his point of view. Quotes such as "for the feminine, truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feelings" and "What your woman says is like a cloud passing in the sky; well formed, coherent, and unrecognizable moments later" raised feminist hackles I never knew I had.
Putting aside my automatic response to the evolutionary behaviouralism: The book is well written and thought provoking. The short chapters make it an excellent travelling companion and the introductory paragraphs before each chapter allow rapid assimilation of ideas. The book should comfort men who are uneasy with their role as masculine beings in workplaces replete with tough, dependable women. The advice to enjoy the delightful feeling that attractive women provoke in most men but not to act upon any sexual impulse arising from it would save plenty of employers the cost and distraction of harassment cases.
There is some good advice in this book. Recognising masculine and feminine traits, then selecting the most appropriate for each situation, may enable readers to be more effective in the modern workplace. Women readers will need to take a deep breath and remind themselves that Deida is talking about the superior man as compared to the inferior man and not as compared to women (whether superior or otherwise). Male readers will need to remember that, in a workplace where technical skills, contractual agreements and the supremacy of logic are the basis for success, they will be surrounded by women who act more like men and who expect to be accorded a masculine measure of respect.
Unlike Henry Higgins, Deida understands that for men and women to be more like each other is not always the best basis for exciting relationships, it may, however, be a good basis for trans-gender workplace friendships.
Now for the big question: Does this book help with exciting relationships outside the workplace? I'm not telling; you'll have to read it yourself!
Book Review: Wow
Summary: 5 Stars
Wow...In an age where men are encouraged to immasculate themselves by adopting feminine traits and where women view the feminist movement as an obligation to become more manly, this book is a heart-felt and well-thought out overview of what it means to be masculine and how masculinity and femininity compare and contrast. It also is surprisingly spiritual in it's approach to everything: women, life purpose, sex, etc. I find myself looking at the world in different ways and that when approaching everything in the manner suggested in the book I feel a certain rightness, as if I'm finally fitting the triangle into the triangle hole.
As a young man raised by his mother I was astonished to discover how deeply I identified with the ideas put forth in this book, at my core. I realize I had fallen into the same trap that many men of my generation have: that women want men who are polite and don't push, that boldness goes unrewarded, that tenacity is irritating and henceforth undesirable.
One of the things that the book does best is explain woman and her feminine core simply, thoroughly, and most importantly: relate-ably to men. Early in my life I was under the impression that, because men and women are social equals, we are the same. In the last few years of my life, which was the beginning of my sex life, I realized that this is completely and unequivocally untrue, and while I would occasionally obtain tidbits of insight into female psyche, I was left, more than less, in the dark. This book, however, gives a clear and concise explanation of how the feminine polarity operates. Do not take this to mean that you'll be able to understand women, in actuality this book makes it clear that women are unable to be understood on a logical level, which is the level on which men operate.
Suffice it to say that this book was read with eyes wide open and eyebrows shot up from start to finish. More than any other book I have ever read, this book not only opened up parts of me to myself that I had heretofore brushed off as flighty, fantastical, wrong, or simply ignored, but it had me understand, come to terms with, and accept them as fundamental pieces of who I am as a being. It is a very special piece of literature that is able to do that, especially in such clear in simple language, and one of which I have not seen equaled.
Book Review: Alvin's lifecoachesblog.com review
Summary: 5 Stars
I know I've just read a good book when 1) I want my friends to read it 2) I want to re-read it again after I finish. The Way Of The Superior Man does both.
David Deida makes it clear at the beginning of his book that even though the book title is The Way Of The Superior Man, this book is for the masculine aspect of a person, whether it be male or female.
I love it when a book opens my eyes to new horizons, helps shed insight on the mistakes I've made and the new directions I can take going forward. The Way Of The Superior Man showed me the differences between the masculine and feminine in a non-apologetic and revealing way. I had a lot of `oh, so that's what I did wrong in my past relationships' moments, and took home more than a few ideas...that actually worked when I tested them out.
The book is divided into mini-chapters, with one main idea per chapter. One of my favorites is chapter 47, `Take into Account the Primary Asymmetry':
"Although you and your woman are equal beings, you are very different creatures. If she has a feminine sexual essence, her core will be fulfilled when love is flowing. For example, she can experience difficulties in her career, but if full love is flowing in her life - with her children, friends, and with you - then her core will be fulfilled.
Not so for you. If you have a masculine essence, then your woman and children can be loving you all day and night, but if your career or mission is obstructed, you will not feel at ease. You won't even want to share much intimate time with your woman until you have your career or mission back on track.
Your woman's core is fulfilled by love. Your core is released from stress by aligning your life with your mission."
Buy this book if you want to better understand the masculine force, how it's constrained by the popular beliefs of society and how you can exude stronger masculine energy.
Buy this book also if you want to get a firmer grasp of the differences between the sexes and how you can use that to better improve your life and your relationships. But be warned, David tells it like he sees it, and like them or not, some of his ideas will challenge you.