The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
by David Deida
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Book Reviews of The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
Book Review: Insightful at times, but completely lacking any scientific objectivity
Summary: 3 Stars
I was looking for a book on positive masculinity and came across this one. I read a few passages and liked what I saw, so i decided to buy it.
Like a previous reviewer, I did a little digging on David Deida. He apparently has no formal education to speak of; no credentials other than a list of universities and organizations where he has supposedly 'taught'.
It doesnt take much reading to see a lot of his philosophy is based on eastern beliefs and spirituality, which is both refreshing at times and stifling at others.
What I disliked most about this book was its overwhelming ambiguity and lack of objective reasoning. There are few concrete, non-generalized examples to support his views, which further tells me this guy is not a clinician or formally-educated psychologist in any way, shape or form.
"Ravish her with the fullness of your purpose and conciousness"
"The gravity of your being"
"Squeeze your pelvis to radiate that energy up your spine"
What the hell does that mean?
This is the type of arcane senselessness that became increasingly annoying in this book. I had to sift theough a lot of esoteric nonsense to really get to the crux of the principles he espouses.
All that being said, a good number of the short chapters in this book are solid, honest, and quite frankly golden in their insight...which is what made me buy this book in the first place. If you're looking for a book to help foster a cognitive 'enlightenment' in the area of dealing with women and understanding the polarity of the sexes, then this a good buy. Some of his insights into these topics are profoundly truthful and cut right through the pop psychology b.s. that is so pervasive in today's literature. He does not support the '50-50' dynamic that is commonplace thinking in western culture. It is refreshing to read a perspective that embraces the natural masucline and feminine polarity.
While I only found about 35-40% of this book to be useful, the quality and truth behind his insights made it worthwhile. Subtract all the mysticism fluff and you'd have a pocketbook of rock-solid wisdom. Three stars.
Book Review: You dont have to like it, simply understand it!
Summary: 5 Stars
I don't know why I depend on this book when I feel weak, depressed, sad, or passive. I read also when I am in need for inspiration and courage for direction in life and love. I find that I didn't agree with his ideas but in time something he wrote will come to mind and start making sense and feel exactly like he wrote. For example "live as if your father were dead" was one that did not hit home at first. Now that my sick father has confesed that he will not make it for 3 more months, I feel grief and pain, yet a liberation of something profound.
I also find that when I am not following my deepest purpose and not living with integrity, I feel dumb, slow, depressed, and unattractive. When I live with purpose and integrity, I am energetic, alive, happy, and very attractive and charismatic. My experience with every male friend who is not living to his potential, is always, always because of his passiveness, fear of following his purpose, and/or putting women first. It is sad but very true. I recently recommended this book to a friend who's on the gray zone of life. After reading this book, he projected his current life problem's to what David Deida talks about. This book is causing him to wake up and keeps challenging his mind.
The most painful parts are "dont change your mind to please a woman", "she doesnt really want to be number one", and "dont force the femenine to make decisions". The best relationship and time with women were when I was at my peak. Going to college, exercising, working hard, inspired, productive and full of purpose. Women flowed constantly in my direction. They would even ask me out and pay for dinner or any opportunity to be with me. I then met my ex girlfriend who loved me for what I was and who I was being, then suddenly I stopped doing all these things just to be with her and she was becoming distant and unattracted to me. She even mentioned that I didnt have a backbone or direction anymore. I lost my direction and purpose and it all went down. I learned the bad way, and continue to learn everyday from this book. Please give it time, and notice how it all ties with the experiences in your life.
Book Review: good read for some but for others it will be pretty basic
Summary: 4 Stars
Ultimately, Deida's advice here boils down to "be a man" without buying into blind macho-ism, something that the vast majority of males in our matriarchal society fail to do.
Deida has a perspective that our culture has lost and he advocates the following philosophies
1) Be a man, live for yourself and attain your purpose in live, embrace your passions at all costs even if it means that you must deal with the disapproval of others (family, significant other, etc.) Be the leader, the dominant figure, and let others follow. Do not buy into the "political correctness" of 50/50 between men and woman because this does away with the polarity on which successful relationships are dependant.
2) Eliminate the fears that hold you back, for they are artificial devices which exist to hold you down.
3) Be real and truthful, stop changing yourself to please the people/woman in your life because that is a blatant lie and will not benefit either one of you, embrace your spiritual flow without seeking approval.
Of course there is a lot more that goes into it, but this is about as much as I can tell you without giving too much of a spoiler.
This is all good information. Problem is, up to this point, for those of you who already understand the nature of the male/female dynamic and masculine/feminine you are probably going "well durrrrrrrr".
I give it four stars though because it is indeed a good read for males who have been brainwashed by society into believing this "men aren't allowed to be men and women aren't allowed to be women" propaganda. And since this constitutes the majority of today's society, then the book deserves a solid rating.
Couldn't give it a 5 though because for those who have already seen through the social programming/brainwashing that goes on here in America, it's all going to be common sense with a few bits of applicable wisdom here and there.
Book Review: A couple of good points veiled by a barrage of ignorant name-calling
Summary: 1 Stars
Though I found one or two good points in what I read of the book, his words are so ugly and insulting that I could hardly get passed the introduction. For some reason he feels the need to label sensitive nice guys as "wimps" and "spineless." Among the many other needlessly ugly and one-sided comments in his introduction was the point that a man who watches sports "doesn't have the balls to do it himself" (pg 6).
His main point within the book is that, in order for the relationship to have passion, one partner has to be the dominant one and the other has to be dominated. One has to the "ravisher" and the other has to be the "ravishee." The masculine energy is all about living on the edge and accomplishing goals. He states that, "if you have a masculine sexual essence then you would probably admit... that your intimate relationship is just not as important to you as the 'mission' in your life" (pg 9). He says that, for people with "a more balanced sexual essence...[who want a relationship] full of love and human sharing without the passionate ups and downs... [will find this book] irrelevant, possibly offensive" (pg 5). Honestly, I've got a feeling that lots of good natured, sincere, and intelligent men are looking for just that. We're looking for a girl that won't try dragging us into her drama of ups and downs.
I've got a feeling that, if I listened to this (bald and ugly) baffoon's advice to the letter, I'd end up like one of those 50 year old pathetic males that tries to cope with becoming older and no longer attractive by constantly trying to show himself and his equally pathetic friends that he's a man by chugging beers (adding to that already huge potbelly) and making manly noises while gawking at women who would puke just at the thought sex with them.
Though I'm usually too lazy to write reviews, this book is so bad that I it motivated me to write my first book review ever. If I were you I'd find another book.
Book Review: A must read for Men and Women.
Summary: 5 Stars
The Way of the Superior Man is more of a recipe book or a guidebook for living life artfully, than an academic review of already existing literature.
Written for people who have witnessed and/or lived the 50's style patriarchy or the modern day equality and political correctness and are ready to move beyond those.
What Deida presents is a possible step for people who want to move from the loving, yet neutral equality already achieved in their relationship to a deeper passion. (Deeper passion not only in intimate relationships, but in life itself.)
This book offers ways to do so without moving backwards into old sexual roles and stereotypes.
Instead of "one size fits all" how-to's Deida offers inspiration to uncover your individual gifts and use them for the sake of love in both relationship and offered as a gift to the world.
This applies to the masculine aspect in both men and women.
It also offers a profound understanding of the "dance" between masculine and feminine and how this applies to relationships.
One of the most common misperceptions leading to the misunderstanding that Deida's work supports old gender stereotypes is the belief that in order to be "feminine" a woman has to give up her "direction" in the world and workforce, while the man has to be in"control".
In this book it becomes clear that this is in fact not so-it is simply useful for one partner in the relationship (man or woman) to take on the masculine and for the other partner to take on the feminine when passion and the sparks of polarity are desired.
This is done as a practice-an artform- constantly fresh and in always new and surprising ways.
The way of the Superior Man is inspiring not only in the practical realms of women, money and sex, but also in the realms of spiritual developement.