The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
by David Deida
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Book Reviews of The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
Book Review: Coherent advice
Summary: 5 Stars
Don't expect the contents of this book to be politically-correct or scientifically validated. It doesn't pretend to be either. But it sure provides helpful advice. Deida has anticipated some of the most vital and vexing issues facing men. He knows when and how men become cynical, confused or frustrated, and turns dark things into something more positive. You might find some of the advice counterintuitive, but try it... Note that there are as many women as men endorsing this book. Deida is on to something.
Before buying this specific product, take a look at Deida's website/portal. Get a sense of ALL his products and pick the one that makes the most sense. He offers a fair amount of audio material, and if you aren't an avid reader, these may be more helpful. He has recently released a DVD titled "Function, Flow and Glow: The Art of Sexual Yoga," in which he shares his views of therapy, art and spirituality. He claims that he's mostly about teaching the "art" of great sex and loving, though he delves into the other areas with considerable insight and wisdom. The DVD is entertaining and informative (and funny), but I think it is mostly targeted toward the Ken Wilber / integrative spirituality crowd. There's nothing wrong with that, but you might be a bit confused if you are not familiar with the "Integral" world. I suspect you'll find something of value anyway.
Another good place to start (especially if you are learning Deida's concepts as a couple) is "The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover" (book with excercise CD). The experiential content and "energy" work is worth the price of admission.
Book Review: Narrow, arrogant views
Summary: 2 Stars
This book was recommended by word of mouth. I listened to it on CD, which may have influenced me. I commend the author for the concept of masculine and feminine polarities as the basis for sexual attraction. This is a very useful construct. If you're a fairly conventional guy looking to touch up your life and understand it better, this could be a good book. If you consider yourself outside the mainstream or have a lot of questions about what it means to be a man, don't bother unless you like feeling insulted and kicked around.
I remain totally put off by the self-anointed tone of the title. Superior to whom? Who is he to label other men inferior? The author appears to be very happy with his life and attributes this to how he lives as a man and how this makes "his woman" happy. I'm glad he's found a good way to live, and I think some of his ideas are sound. I take offence at his manner of preaching one true way. If you struggle with any of the issues addressed here and feel that perhaps you don't fit the mold, you may feel uncomfortable or lost.
My reaction was to become profoundly depressed and later, angry. I had to listen to how wonderful the author's life is, compare it with my own differences and apparent shortcomings, all without any advice for how to become a superior man myself. Apparently, it's something one just decides to do. The tone of the CD's came across as arrogant, as if the author was reading from a distant planet that I will never reach - and may not wish to. I don't fit the standard mold, and I didn't need this book to make me feel bad about it.
Book Review: A book for every man to read, and for their women to read too
Summary: 5 Stars
I first saw this book on my husband's bookshelf before we were married, and I borrowed and read it. My thoughts at the time: Wow, if this man really believes and lives the principles in this book, he is the one for me! Four years of married bliss and a 3-year-old child later, I still think this. David Deida's basic premise: there is a "Way of the Superior Man" that both includes and transcends the "tough" concept of masculinity of our ancestors, and the "sensitive man" concept of more recent years, that frees a man to be both powerful and purposeful, and also feeling and spiritually alive. This has profound effects in all areas of a man's life from work to sex to relationships with women. I can attest to the value of this premise from my husband's success in his career, our marriage/sexual relationship, and as a father and a spiritual being. Being a superior man is not necessarily an easy path, but hugely rewarding. I highly recommend this book to women as well as Deida's books "Dear Lover" and "It's a Guy Thing" to better understand healthy masculine/feminine dynamics and deepen their relationships with men.
For those who feel an author must be "credentialed" (MD or PhD or whatever) to offer this type of advice, or who are looking for hard data research to back up the claims he makes, this book may disappoint. I would just encourage such readers to suspend judgement long enough to give the book a read, take what they find to ring true and useful and leave the rest. There is a lot of value here, and I have found it to be "proven" in my own experience with men and as a woman.
Book Review: Interesting but not scientific
Summary: 4 Stars
How does a person become a spiritual/sex guru? I was curious and decided to purchase and read this book.
I did some research on David Deida, and it appears he has no formal education on either psychology or human sexuality. What he does appear to have, however, are powerful insights into eastern beliefs on sexuality greatly differing from our own western version.
Although the author sites absolutely no scientific rationale to provide support for his views, I found his views to be fascinating. For example, in a chapter "Stop Hoping for Your Women to Get Easier":
"So she will test you. She might not be fully conscious of why she is doing it, but she will poke your weak spots, especially in moments of your superficial success, in order to feel your strength. If you collapse, you've flunked the test....It never ends. A woman will always test her man for the pleasure of feeling his strength in loving, his capacity to transcend nuisance, his persistence in his own truth, and his capacity to share that truth in love with her, even when she is complaining- especially when she is complaining."
The author provides a refreshing eastern perspective on sexuality, masculinity, and feminity. It isn't entirely politically correct. But it is sexually correct. I am sure not all feminists would agree with the author's views. But those who seek the truth will find the author's unique perspective to be invigorating as having a good night with a woman who loves, and therefore tests, him.
Book Review: A 'How-To' Guide for Sexual Predators
Summary: 1 Stars
I am not a militant feminist, in fact, I am not a feminist and this has nothing to do with me being male or female. In truth, this negative review of David Dieda's book has everything do to with the fact that, while he pretends the underlying goal of his 'teachings' is something akin to unconditional love, in fact the guy is incredibly obsessed with sex, and this entire book is based on ways to change your personality in order to deceive women so that they will have sex with you. Young and old alike, he doesn't overlook any demographic of women, but advises over and over again how to 'ravish' them sexually... EVEN AGAINST THEIR WILLS! You don't have to be a woman to be offended by David Dieda's predatory confessions, only a person with maturity, decency and civlity... in short, a gentleman. And when I say being a gentleman, it does not mean 'a whimp!' In fact, it is just the opposite. Only wimps sit around and develop a misguided science on how to 'ravish' women for their own sexual ends. This guy just loves to have sex with all kinds of women, and that's all about this book really reveals about this dangerous predator who calls himself a 'Superior Man'! HA! I recommend you keep your daughters (and mothers!) far clear of David Dieda and his book. Of course a lot men love this book - it justifies their objectification of women beneath a veneer of new age 'enlightenement' and that same old 'we are all One' esoteric miasma. David Dieda sould be thrown in jail or put on the sexual predator list!!!!