The Wonder of Boys
by Michael Gurian
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Book Summary Information
Author: Michael GurianEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2006-09-07
ISBN: 1585425281
Number of pages: 320
Publisher: Tarcher
Book Reviews of The Wonder of Boys
Book Review: As a Male I know there's truth to this book
Summary: 4 Stars
I bought this book for a quarter at a garage sale. I am a male, but I don't have kids of my own (and no I'm not looking to lure any into my unmarked van!) I'm a preschool teacher and when I bought this book I can't say I actually intended on reading it. I was more or less going to use it for reference, but I was suddenly confronted with a class that was almost entirely boys, and not just any type of boys but rowdy inattentive boys.
I can see how a lot of reviewers have claimed that this book is sexist and lacks in scientific research. Normally I'm turned away by books that don't have solid scientific backing, but I work with kids and I can tell you...there's no exact anything, let alone science when it comes to understanding children. This is where this book has been incredibly helpful because a lot of his points are heavily based on observation. As a male myself with a strong sense of my own childhood, I can tell you his observations are fairly accurate when it comes to the things that boys need in order to thrive. I'm not saying every point he made was an exact science, but it struck a chord with me as a male because it fit with what I knew as a kid, and even what I know today to be true of myself.
Some of his points are more general, such as boys being more spatially oriented, and task specific. And for those who are claiming he's sexist for even making distinctions in these area's, they need to do a little more research. I'm not for excluding any gender, but there are inherent differences between boys and girls and if you play to the strong suits of one or the other you're going to get a better effect. In my case I had to make my class more task driven. I made it everyone's "job" to be a kind friend to everyone, and it had a pretty instant effect on some of my more mean spirited boys. I added more open spaces, and more table activities that required fine motor skills to move an object from one place to another, and once again it had a dramatic effect on settling the energy in the room.
Like I said, some of this stuff is common knowledge, and this book isn't breaking a whole lot of new ground. But it does cover a lot of ground in one book. I particularly liked the chapters on boys needing a tribe, and about the development of morals. There is a problem with young boys in this country, and one of the biggest issues is there is a major disconnect between the generations. I grew up not just with a father, but I was lucky enough to be the youngest of 4 generations of males in my family so I had a very strong sense of what it meant to be a part of something bigger than myself. I'm a preschool teacher, it's not necessarily the most masculine job, but I know that its ok to be male and work in a profession that is mainly dominated by females, and that's because I grew up surrounded by males of different generations who taught me and supported me as a person. I always had someone to look up to. Boys need that. They need to know its ok to be themselves, because right now they don't know what to be. (and the same can be said for girls. However women lately have been better at providing this for girls than the men have for boys)
This book may not be hard science, but it's relate-able and usable information that, when you put adult biases and fears aside, is a valuable resource to anyone who works with or cares about the direction boys in our country are heading.
Summary of The Wonder of Boys
I n this edition of his parenting classic, Michael Gurian considers how the culture has changed in the ten years since The Wonder of Boys was first published, including the impact of the Internet.
In the thoughtful and provocative The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men, therapist and educator Michael Gurian takes a close look at modern boyhood. Gurian asserts that the biological and neurological differences between boys and girls need to be accounted for and nourished in order to raise healthy, happy boys. In discussing boy culture--and the roles of competition, aggression, and physical risk taking--the author concludes, "It's not boy culture that's inherently flawed; it's the way we manage it." If the natural, testosterone-based impulses of boys are squelched or ignored, Gurian posits, such biological truths may find their way to the surface in other, more negative behaviors. He suggests that boys do best when they are part of a "tribe," three families that include: a birth or adoptive family; an extended family of friends, teachers, peers, and mentors; and the "family" of outside culture, media, religious institutions, and community figures. The Wonder of Boys offers advice on how to understand and build strong father/son and mother/son relationships, stresses the importance of healthy discipline, and suggests methods of teaching boys about sex, relationships, and spirituality. Parents and teachers of boys will find this book to be an insightful read. --Ericka Lutz
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