Undefended Love
by Jett Psaris, Marlena S Lyons
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Book Summary Information
Author: Jett Psaris, Marlena S LyonsEdition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2000-10-30
ISBN: 1572242086
Number of pages: 176
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Book Reviews of Undefended Love
Book Review: Excellent and well thought out.....
Summary: 5 Stars
This is a well-written book on love and relationships that goes way beyond the average popular psychology book. This book puts a simple powerful model and practical tools for deep inquiry into people's hands. The authors' approach is deep and effective. For those willing to do the work as well as read about the concepts, this book will be very rewarding and potentially transforming.
Undefended Love borrows a lot of ideas from Enneagram theory and from psychology. A primary assumption of the book is that in order for change to occur you must get beyong your compensatory personality into authentic emotional experience. It is only by being in the moment and feeling what is behind the personality that one can truly grow. It is a very transpersonal approach to development and the analogies and examples will be easy for the average person to identify with.
I work in the mental health field and in business. I love this book because the models are easy to apply and they really work. If you are looking to increase the intimacy in your relationship or with yourself, this book will definitely help you, especially if you have difficulty being in touch with your emotions.
The gist of this model is that your surface personality exists in layers and was built up over time. It was constructed to protect you from hurt, but it also shields you from what is going on at the deepest levels of your Being. The principles in this text help you to understand your defensive mechanisms and disidentify from them, so that you have a felt sense of your core wound or deepest need. By feeling into this space, this model suggests that you can experience a felt shift and that your authentic Self will emerge naturally from engaging in this process. By trusting your own inner wisdom and process, whatever is needed for you to heal will emerge organically.
This is a very optimistic psychology because another assumption is that you are incorruptable and untouchabe at the deepest level. This book is about finding your way back to this space by getting out of your head and riding your feelings like waves into the deepest recesses of your soul.
My experience working with the ideas in this book both with myself and clients is that it is a very powerful and practical method. The workshop that goes by the same name is also very good and I believe has won some awards. This isn't just another self help book and the work isn't easy. However, if you are serious about real change, the concepts can be potentially life transforming.
I am primarily a cognitive person. However, these ideas helped me tremendously to connect with my vulnerability and the broader contexts that emotions provide. While there is a bias in our culture about emotions, we actually spend a lot of our leisure time trying to manipulate them. This book is honors emotion as a source of non-verbal knowledge and shows you how to compliment or get past thinking processes that keep you stuck.
The title is actually very descriptive of the book. It teaches you how to be intimate with yourself and others in an undefended way. This means getting the ego out of the way so that your deepest, most authentic and magnificent self can come forward.
Summary of Undefended Love
This book precisely maps a unique journey that turns the problems and conflicts that inevitably arise in relationships into opportunities for deeper connection. Illuminating case studies, guided self-inquiries, and challenging exercises help you discover how to engage your partner in a deeper dialogue and find ways of expressing the most profound and untamed aspects of your nature.
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