Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter
by Steve Dublanica
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Book Summary Information
Author: Steve DublanicaEdition: Hardcover
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2008-07-29
ISBN: 0061256684
Number of pages: 302
Publisher: Ecco
Book Reviews of Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter
Book Review: New Journalism Memoir of Waiting on Tables Spiced Up to Read Like a Reality Television Show's Script
Summary: 5 Stars
Drama: Without it we are soon bored. With too much drama, we are soon looking for peace and quiet. Waiters usually have no drama as they routinely do their jobs, so naturally the dramatic moments stand out. The Waiter who writes for the Waiter Rant Web site entertains us in this self-revealing memoir by sharing his highest and lowest moments serving the public in the New York City area.
Now, life for waiters in New York tends to be more dramatic than elsewhere in the United States: New York diners are demanding, loud, and aggressive. I well remember my first meal in a nice restaurant with people from New York. It was in Boston. If our waiter didn't sprint to our table within five seconds of these people wanting something, they headed off in a jog to find him. If this meant pushing into the kitchen or pounding on the men's room door, so be it. I wanted to crawl under the table and dig a hole.
Since then, I gotten used to dining with people from New York: There has to be a 30-minute heated discussion with the hostess over which table we will sit at while they threaten to take the whole party elsewhere (and often they do!). They usually don't even start thinking about what to order until after the waiter has returned six times to ask if everyone is ready. Everyone wants to order some item that's not on the menu and bitter complaints follow if that's not permitted. When the food arrives, they automatically send the entrees back to the kitchen to be redone while saying spiteful things about incompetence. The main table conversation is about how bad the restaurant is (led by those who picked the restaurant). Argh!
I hesitate to imagine what it must be like to be a waiter in these places. It might make a person a little cynical; n'est-ce pas?
The Waiter is one of those serving warriors who has done for this a long time. No, he doesn't plan to act on Broadway. No, it isn't a second job to support his family (he's unmarried and unattached). No, he isn't going to grad school. He does it to earn a living.
How did he get there? The Waiter started out in seminary, wanting to be a Catholic priest. He got angry about the way things were run in the church (and didn't realize that Catholics don't have a monopoly on inappropriate behavior) and quit. He earned a college degree in psychology and worked in a series of forgettable health care environments run by very sleazy people.
After losing a mental health job, he realized that he needed work to tide him over and avoid depression while he looked for a "good" job. Since his brother was working as a waiter part-time while he was in school, his brother suggested that The Waiter join him at Amici's, a suburban New York Italian restaurant. In the process, he learned that he had jumped out of the frying pan into the fire because Amici's was a very emotionally toxic environment, one where the survival of the fittest would have impressed Darwin.
I won't tell more of the story, but you'll get your share of ugly customer behavior, callousness, poor management, bad hygiene, and ripping off the customer. These are portrayed in calendar order, interspaced with the seasonal challenges of various holidays (Mother's Day is the worst for servers and customers) illustrated by horror stories.
The writing is extremely slick in the beginning, so much so that it seems like the stories are likely to have been "improved" as new journalism stories often are to be a "better" story. Amici's isn't quite to be believed, but you can make up your mind for yourself on that point.
The bulk of the book is sited at The Bistro where The Waiter doubles as the restaurant's manager whenever Fluvio, the owner, is away (which seems to be all of the time). The squabbles between The Waiter and the rest of the staff and with Fluvio are straight from sit-com heaven. When Ken Blanchard is looking for his next coauthor to write a parable about what not to do in business, he should look up The Waiter.
The craziness moves on nicely from episode to episode, but eventually focuses in on The Waiter's desire to escape waiting by becoming a writer. He begins to pay more and more attention to the Waiter Rant blog and dreams of writing a book. Well, you know how that turned out.
I thought the most interesting parts of the book came in how he came to understand himself better through being a waiter. Think of that part of the book as "Confessions of a Snippy Waiter."
Because of his psychology training, he's very good at explaining why waiting appeals to some people . . . despite the horrible drawbacks.
You'll probably cut back on your fine dining after you read this book. There's a tendency to make all customers seem like infants who lack motherly love and are willing to spend ridiculous sums to get a little attention from someone who is willing to pander to get tips.
Some (especially those from New York City) will be offended by the various guidelines for being a customer.
I was shocked to learn that I was demeaning servers whenever I gave them a tip over 25 percent. Who knew?
I would wish you bon appetit, but this book will probably spoil your appetite with its various stories about hygiene and getting revenge on customers.
Summary of Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter
According to The Waiter, eighty percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths. WAITER RANT offers the server?s unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he?s really thrived. "The other shoe finally drops. The front-of-the-house version of Kitchen Confidential; a painfully funny, excruciatingly true-life account of the waiter?s life. As useful as it is entertaining. You will never look at your waiter the same way again?and will never tip less than 20%." --Anthony Bourdain, author of Kitchen Confidential "I really enjoyed WAITER RANT. The book is engaging and funny, a story told from my polar opposite perspective. I will now do my best to act better as a Chef -- and I dare say, I?ll never be rude to a waiter again, as long as I live."--John DeLucie, Chef of The Waverly InnMemoirs Books
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