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What Do You Really Want for Your Children? by Wayne W. Dyer
Book Summary InformationAuthor: Wayne W. Dyer Edition: Paperback Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published) Published: 2001-08-21 ISBN: 0380730472 Number of pages: 480 Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks
Book Reviews of What Do You Really Want for Your Children?Book Review: Good--but I have a bone to pick Summary: 4 Stars
This is one of the best books on parenting I've read EXCEPT for the one part (page 136) in which the author states "Accept the fact that you are precisely where you have chosen to be in life. Stop blaming your spouse for your unhappiness, your parents for your lack of motivation, the economy for your financial status, the bakery for your exess weight, your childhood for your phobias, and anything else to with you assign blame points. You are the sum total of the choices you have made in your life. Even if your parents made mistakes with you, accept the fact that they were human beings doing what they knew how to do at the time, given the unique conditions in their lives. How can you ask more of anyone? Forgive them and make peace with everyone in your past..." That's BULL. The author is negating the importance of his book with that statement. Why are there so many parenting books if there weren't so many adults out there with major problems BECAUSE of how they grew up? Why don't we just parent any way we want to--we can abuse our children--and then turn around and say "Don't blame me for your problems". Parents DO have responsibility--BIG responsibility in how their children turn out. How can anyone say of an ABUSIVE parent that he/she was just doing what they knew how to do at the time and that you couldn't ask any more of them??? Children can ask a WHOLE LOT MORE of their parents than to live with abuse. "Forgive them and make peace with your past"--in other words just tell them that all the abuse you suffered through didn't really matter and it was OK and you just weren't important enough to be treated any better? In other words, Dr. Dyer is giving them license to abuse and possibly continue the abuse but take no responsibility for it. WRONG!!! What's the point of this book then? What's the difference if we raise happy children or completely miserable children--how they turn out is going to be completely their responsibility and none of ours. Children do not grow up in a vacuum. People do not make choices in a vacuum. Yes, you are the sum of the choices you made, but your choices are based on what you learned of yourself and of the world THROUGH YOUR PARENTS. How can ANYONE take responsibility off of ABUSIVE parents as this Dr. Dyer has done??? Whether your parents abused you emotionally, physically and/or sexually--THEY have the responsibility, NOT YOU. You could have and you had every right to "ask more of them". Blaming a bakery on your excess weight is absolutely NOTHING like blaming your parents for the effects of their abuse. How can Dr. Dyer even SUGGEST such a thing? Having lived through a lifetime of hell because of abuse, I resent the fact that Dr. Dyer is taking all responsibility away from my parents and putting it on me. I didn't ASK to be abused. I DIDN'T make that choice. My parents have all the responsibility of that on THEIR shoulders. I made choices based on what I believed about myself from what I LEARNED as a child through that ABUSE. I know for a fact that abused children cannot just "forgive" their parents and "make peace" without working through the pain and hell of the past, but I had to learn that after much suffering and years of therapy. Oh yes, I want to be a good parent and I do make mistakes with my children, but ABUSE is not a "mistake". If you have been abused as a child, whether mentally/emotionally, physically and/or sexually, I recommend that you get the book "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward and don't EVER listen to ANYONE who tells you that your parents are not responsible for who you are today. THEY ARE.This is a good book on parenting, but please don't pay any attention to the part that I am referring to--it is simply NOT true. Ask any person who was abused as a child. TOXIC PARENTS BY SUSAN FORWARD is an excellent book for persons who were abused as children. CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live. ***PARENTS DO PLAY A BIG PART IN HOW THEIR CHILDREN TURN OUT AS ADULTS AND ON THE CHOICES THEIR CHILDREN MAKE***
Summary of What Do You Really Want for Your Children?If you have children, then you have dreams for them. You want to see them growing up happy, healthy, self-reliant, and confident in themselves and their abilities. But if you're a typical parent, you've wondered if you'll be able to give them all this. There's good news: you can. Wayne W. Dyer shares the wisdom and guidance that have already helped millions of readers take charge of their lives -- showing how to make all your hopes for your children come true. You will learn: - the seven simple secrets for building your child's self-esteem every day.
- how to give very young children all the love they need -- without spoiling them.
- how to encourage risk-taking -- without fear of failure.
- action strategies for dealing with your own anger -- and your child's.
- the right way (and the wrong way) to improve your child's behavior.
- the secrets of raising kids relatively free of illness.
- techniques that encourage children to enjoy life.
It's all here -- straightforward, commonsense advice that no parent can afford to do without.
Psychology & Counseling Books
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