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Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress by John Gray
Book Summary InformationAuthor: John Gray Edition: Paperback Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published) Published: 2008-12-30 ISBN: 0061242977 Number of pages: 288 Publisher: Harper Perennial
Book Reviews of Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with StressBook Review: Good Book About Understanding Causes For Stress Of the Opposite Gender Summary: 3 Stars
This is one of Dr. Gray's Mars And Venus series addressing relationship issues of men and women. This time he argues that the reason why relationships stop working after a while is that couples aren't able to cope with their stresses and gives solutions to these problems. Well it sounds nice and all, but after a while of reading this kind of books I came to the conclusion that our ancestors figured out the correct way of dealing with the opposite gender, which is to act naturally and not try to be someone else you are not!
In these types of books they always ask men to be understanding and validate women's feelings. They also ask women to appreciate what men do and understand their needs. This could be a good advice, but it's not necessarily going to work because it's asking us to act in an unnatural way! Our ancestors figured it out and apparently they weren't having the complex and never ending problems we are having today (when everone is trying to act unnaturally just to please the opposite gender).
Men in the old past used to go outside, hunt, join other men, and bring back food to the house and protect their family. Women used to give birth and protect their children and hang out with other women in order to fullfill their social needs and produce oxytocin by various womenly activities. Men were not asked to get involved in womenly activities (such as validating their feelings or go shopping with them), and women were not asked to appreciate men for what they do or participate in their activities. Everyone had his natural role, and everyone seemed to be happy. Men were hunters and women were family bearers!
In regards to this book, it will be a good read if you really believe that a book with these kind of advices could have a positive effect on your relationship.
Summary of Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress. It's a common scenario: a husband returns home from work stressed out and eager to kick back on the couch and watch television. A wife returns home from work stressed out and wants to talk about it with her husband. What happens? Neither is on the same page, anger and resentment set in, and Mars and Venus collide. Using his signature insight that has helped millions of couples transform their relationships, John Gray once again arms the inhabitants of Mars and Venus with information that will help them live harmoniously ever after. In Why Mars and Venus Collide, Gray focuses on the ways that men and women misinterpret and mismanage the stress in their daily lives, and how these reactions ultimately affect their relationships. "It's not that he's just not into you; he needs to fulfill a biological need," Gray explains. "And it's not that she wants to henpeck you; she also has a biological drive." He shows, for instance, how a husband's withdrawal is actually a natural way for him to replenish his depleted testosterone levels and restore his well-being, and how a woman's need for conversation and support helps her build her own stress-reducing hormone, oxytocin. Backed up by groundbreaking scientific research, Gray offers a clear, easy-to-understand program to bridge the gap between the two planets, providing effective communication strategies that will actually lower stress levels. Whether in a relationship or single, this book will help both men and women understand their new roles in a modern, work-oriented society, and allow them to discover a variety of new and practical ways to create a lifetime of love and harmony. Amazon.com Exclusive: Notes on Why Mars & Venus Collide by John Gray Over the last fifty years, life has become more complicated. Longer working hours, intensified by grueling commutes and more traffic, the increased cost of housing, food, and health care, rising credit card debt, and the combined responsibilities of work and childcare in two-career families are only a few of the sources of stress in our fast-paced modern lives. In spite of the new technologies designed to connect us, information overload and round-the-clock accessibility via the Internet and cell phones have reduced much of our communication to the equivalent of text messaging. We are stretched to the limit, with little energy for our personal lives. Despite increased independence and opportunities for success at work, we are often left with a sense of isolation and exhaustion at home. The unprecedented levels of stress both men and women are experiencing is taking a toll on our romantic relationships. Whether single or in committed relationships, we are often too busy or too tired to sustain feelings of attraction, motivation, and affection. Everyday stress drains our energy and patience and leaves us feeling too exhausted or overwhelmed to enjoy and support each other. We are often too busy to see what is obvious. A man will give his heart and soul to make enough money to provide for his family and return home too tired even to talk with them. A woman will give and give to support her husband and children and then resent them for not giving back the kind of support she thrives on giving. Under the influence of stress, men and women forget why we do what we do. Over the last fifteen years, a new trend in relationships has emerged linked to increasing stress. Both couples and singles believe they are too busy or too exhausted to resolve their relationship issues, and often think their partners are either too demanding or just too different to understand. Attempting to cope with the increasing stress of working for a living, both men and women feel neglected at home. While some couples experience increasing tension, others have just given up, sweeping their emotional needs under the carpet. They may get along, but the passion is gone. Without an understanding of our different needs, men and women are adjusting their actions and reactions to no avail. Our actions may be pointed in the wrong direction. Why Mars and Venus Collide provides a new understanding and a variety of techniques you will need to counter the disruptive effects of stress and to steer a true course to a lifetime of love. Remembering and understanding our differences are only half the battle. The other half is about action--learning to cope more effectively with stress. This book aims to help you discover new ways to lower your own stress and help to lower your partner?s. Whether you are in a relationship, starting over, or single, you will discover a variety of new and practical ways to improve your communication, uplift your mood, increase your energy, elevate levels of attraction in your relationship, create harmony with your partner, and enjoy a lifetime of love and romance. You will learn why communication breaks down or why your relationships have failed in the past, and what you can do now to ensure success in the future.
Stress Management Books
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