Working with Anger

Working with Anger
by Thubten Chodron

Working with Anger
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Book Summary Information

Author: Thubten Chodron
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 2001-09-17
ISBN: 1559391634
Number of pages: 170
Publisher: Snow Lion Publications

Book Reviews of Working with Anger

Book Review: Excellent Observations, Useful Techniques
Summary: 4 Stars

This is a wonderful book. I've been working on my anger for some time and reading this book gives me confidence and methods to complete this important project. She provides numerous techniques, advice, and comments to approach this problem in a helpful, gentle, and multifaceted way. Firstly, we must recognize the existence of the anger and allow it to settle:
p. 22: "Psychologists speak of a refractory period that accompanies an emotion. During this time, we are closed to any advice or reasonable interpretation that contradicts our view...When the emotion subsides and we are able to look at the event more clearly, we readily see...that anger's interpretation was inaccurate...when we are angry we are, in fact, viewing it through a filter of our self-centeredness."

The author makes the important connection between our anger and our self-centeredness-our attachment to our ego. Furthermore, she observes that we view others as similar to ourselves:
p. 71: "When our mind is well accustomed to find faults with others, we incorrectly assume they will do the same with us. Here we have two useless habits to counteract: the first is judging others, and the second is assuming others are judging us."

On page 83, she points out that even if we are "right" it doesn't make us happy, but that acceptance of the reality of life helps us to make the most of our lives-not surrendering to it:
p. 88: "Acceptance simply means fully accepting that what is happening now is indeed happening, even if we do not like what it is. We stop fighting the reality of the present moment and let go of our anger. Nevertheless, we still aspire and work towards improving the situation in the future. In fact, acceptance of the present enables us to think more clearly about effective means for influencing what occurs in the future." And, "If we face an unpleasant situation and can change it, why get angry? ...On the other hand, if we cannot alter the situation, why get angry?"

She explores different kinds or scenarios of anger situations with numerous examples and makes some less than obvious observations:
p. 89: "Interestingly, in most conflict situations, both parties feel that the other is more powerful...Because we are interdependent, everyone in a situation affects the others. However, we are seldom aware that the person we consider powerful is also dependent on others and may at times feel helpless as well."

She also provides some less than obvious solutions or antidotes to our anger:
p. 96: "We can take any pain we experience and give it to the selfish attitude."

Ven. Chodron also states what I have been waiting to hear for a long time from the many Vajrayana texts I have read that"
p. 126: "In wishing all beings to be happy and free from suffering, we must include ourselves. Doing so is appropriately loving ourselves and having compassion for ourselves. No sentient being is more or less deserving than any other in this respect." And,
p. 128: Someone once said, `If we treated others the way we treat ourselves, we wouldn't have any friends.'

She also addresses how to help other people immersed in their anger:
p. 147: [if you ask someone undergoing anger] "What could someone say that would help you at this moment?" [it helps them "to consider new alternatives]. "What could someone have said to you back then that would have helped you?" [it helps them "to look at the situation more creatively"].

And finally, the strange truth about our anger (per Jung's view that what we project outside of us is often opposite to what is outside), touching off our true compassion & Bodhichitta:
p. 149: "How many of us get angry when we are really trying to say `please love me'? And how many of us miss others' pleas for kindness because we react to their outer hostility?"

Summary of Working with Anger

Anger plagues all of us on a personal, national, and international level. Yet, we see people, such as the Dalai Lama, who have faced circumstances far worse than many of us have faced--including exile, persecution, and the loss of many loved ones--but who do not burn with rage or seek revenge. How do they do it?

Working with Anger presents a variety of Buddhist methods for subduing and preventing anger, not by changing what is happening, but by framing it differently. No matter what our religion, learning to work with our anger is effective for everyone seeking personal happiness as well as world peace.

Working with Anger was chosen for a Spirituality and Health Magazine Award as one of "The Best Spiritual Books of 2001."

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