Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior
by Christine M. Benton, Russell A. Barkley
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Book Summary Information
Author: Christine M. Benton, Russell A. BarkleyBrand: Books
Edition: Paperback
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language); English (Published)
Published: 1998-10-06
ISBN: 1572303212
Number of pages: 239
Publisher: Guilford Press
Book Reviews of Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior
Book Review: We're ALL defiant, it seems!
Summary: 2 Stars
This book earned itself a free flight across the room and into the opposite wall, when I encountered the following definitions, ten pages in:
"Therefore, to answer the question, 'Is there really anything wrong, or is it just me,' you need some reliable objective measures. My colleagues and I consider a child oppositional and defiant when the child demonstrates a pattern of three types of behavior:
"1. The child fails to start doing what you ask within one minute after you make the request (or one minute following the point at which you say the child has to do what you ask, such as after the cartoon he is watching is over)."
Good heavens. Who knew? It seems that I also have a defiant *husband*, as well as a defiant child!! And to be fair, I find out that *I* am also regularly defiant! Don't ask how many times my husband has to ask me to do my taxes, in an average year. Well, on we go...
"2. The child fails to finish what you've asked her to do. Some children may get up and start making their beds as requested right away, but then they run off to do something more appealing in the middle of the chore."
Well, THAT'S certainly not normal. I mean, if it were, we'd have a whole nation of people checking their Facebook pages or thinking about their vacations or talking about last night's episode of Lost, or even SHOPPING ON AMAZON, when they SHOULD be WORKING!!
"3. The child violates rules of conduct already taught. Does your son know that swearing is unacceptable in your house, but he does it anyway? Does your daughter understand the rule, 'no snacks without permission,' but constantly take food from the refrigerator without asking?"
Oh, for pity's sake. Kid drops the f-bomb or raids the fridge and he's diagnosable? What are we raising here, humans or Imperial Storm Trooper Clones? Would you take parenting advice from someone who never did these things? Would you want to BE parented by someone whose demands for compliance were that rigid?
There are some families out there with REAL problems. Kids who do real harm to others and themselves. Kids whose anxieties are so paralyzing that they can't even leave the house. Why are we pathologizing kids who do things that we ALL did, and all STILL do, even as adults?
Okay. Deep breath. Retrieve book from place behind the sofa where it landed. The dust jacket features a recommendation by Ed Hallowell, who's someone I respect. Russell and Christine, Ed's just obtained you your second chance. Don't be wasting my valuable time, now. Give me some worthwhile perspective -- within one minute of me requesting it, please.
Summary of Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior
Every child has "ornery" moments, but more than 1 in 20 American children exhibit behavioral problems that are out of control. For readers struggling with an unyielding or combative child, Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior offers the understanding and guidance they need. Drawing on Dr. Russell A. Barkley's many years of work with parents and children, the book clearly explains what causes defiance, when it becomes a problem, and how it can be resolved. The book's comprehensive eight-step program stresses consistency and cooperation, promoting changes through a system of praise, rewards, and mild punishment. Readers learn tools and strategies for establishing clear patterns of discipline, communicating with children on a level they can understand, and reducing family stress overall. Filled with helpful charts, questionnaires, and checklists,Your Defiant Child helps parents get their child's behavior back on track and restore harmony in the home.Mental Health Books
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